War of the Weirds
by Gamer21
Summary: Did you really think you could just walk into the hero business and have ALL the angles figured out? The girl is going to die, my friend...and I will personally see to that you burn in hell! You can't stop the unstoppable, my friend, and I will prove it.
1. And So It Begins

So, I got this idea from two sources: the Hey Arnold! Halloween special, and Nintendo Nut1's story _Brother Squadron_, which is a really great story, by the way. This is my Halloween story!

Zelda: It is?

Link: But it's well past Halloween.

SHADDUP! Anyway, folks, here it is, my most planned story: **War of the Weirds**! Hope you like!

Pichu: Yeah, for his sake...

WHAT WAS THAT!

Pichu: Nothing...run away! (Everyone runs away)

Hmm...It's just not as good written as it is seen...oh, well. Here's the full summary, for all you curious types:

Ness and Pichu are determined to outscare Link and the others this Halloween, so they perform a radio show saying that aliens are attacking, also using the fact that several Smashers are dressed as aliens themselves to aid their cause. However, all hell breaks loose when the TV station picks up the signal and broadcasts it to the whole of the Smash Island, throwing it into mass chaos, havoc, and destruction. With the military on their heels and time running out, can Link and his friends save the Smashers before they and the Island are reduced to rubble?

Link: Whoa...sounds cool.

Just read, thank you very much.

* * *

"_Hear the sound of the falling rain..._

_Coming down like an Armageddon flame (Hey!)_

_The shame, the ones who died without a name..._

_Hear the dogs howling out of key,_

_To a hymn called 'Faith and Misery' (Hey!)_

_And bleed, the company lost the war today..._"

* * *

_**Chapter 1: And So, It Begins...**_

As the autumn winds caressed the Smash Island in all its warmth and glory, the days slowly ticked by until that fateful day: October 24, one week before All Hallows' Eve, better known as Halloween. The Smashers were getting ready for the annual party and costume contest; some going to more extreme lengths than others. In the lounge, a boy and a small mouse Pokèmon were grinning as the television in front of them displayed various images. A teenage young man in a green tunic was also watching, along with an Italian man in green and a humanoid fox.

"I love this show." Ness told Pichu as they watched the show, _The Z Files_. "It's so cool...look! There it is!"

"The mother ship...that's so cool!" Pichu said in response. "I bet they attack Nintendo tonight!" The TV said otherwise, though.

"_Tune in to the Z Files next week, when aliens attack the planet!_" Both Ness and Pichu sighed in disappointment.

"I can't believe you people can watch that garbage." Fox piped up. "Their writing is terrible!" Ness and Pichu turned back to the TV screen in response as creepy music blared from it.

"_Next, it's Alien Today, with your host, Jonathan Reed!_"

"Alien-a Today! I-a love this show!" Luigi said from his position on the couch.

A man of twenty-odd years had appeared on the TV. He had bronze-colored hair and a bizarre machine-like eyepiece on his right eye. He spoke with an air of brooding intensity. "_UFOs, flying saucers, they loom large in the imagination, but, indeed, do they exist? We now know that this planet is watched closely by intelligences greater than Nintendo's. We are scrutinized and studied, this small spinning fragment of solar driftwood. As your host and reporter and writer and producer, I will be your guide on your quest to make contact on Alien Today!_" The lights on the set suddenly brightened, revealing the words 'Alien Today' behind him, curving around the intense young man.

"Okay, couch potatoes, enough of the tube." Link stood up from the couch and turned off the television, much to the displeasure of the other Smashers. "It's time for our meeting of our annual Smash Mansion Halloween party."

"Hey, Link, can Ness and I help out this year?" Pichu piped up.

"Oh, no, Pichu." Link chastised. "Halloween is a serious business, and it's not for kids."

"But -" Pichu was cut off by Link, and he was indignant.

"Now, now, now, Pichu. The purpose of Halloween is to scare the living daylights out of everyone until they scream bloody murder and beg for mercy! I love a good Halloween prank, and this year, we're going to do it better than ever! Now go to bed." Link then turned to Fox and Luigi, who were talking to each other, and announced, "Fox, let's start with the costume committee report.

"The costume committee report is as follows: Peach will be a witch."

"Like-a that's a stretch..." Luigi muttered under his breath.

"Luigi will play the executioner!"

"Wait a minute, I-a thought you said I was going to be-a Frankenstein!" Luigi shot out.

"No!" Fox protested. "This year I will play Frankenstein!"

"You and-a what army, old man-a?" Luigi retorted. "You-a told me last-a year that you-a would play the-a bride of Frankenstein!"

"Yeah! I play." Fox reported. "I will play Frankenstein! I like it!"

"Don't-a you tell me..." Meanwhile, Ness and Pichu were indignant that Link shot down their idea. But their disappointment melted away when something clicked in Pichu's mind, and his frown was replaced by an evil grin.

"So, our usual Halloween plan, Pichu?" Ness asked the conniving young Pokèmon.

"No, Ness. This year I think the grown-ups will have a good scare, and I think it should involve aliens."

* * *

"Hey, Da-I mean, Kratos." Lloyd greeted the Seraphim. "What are you doing?" 

"I'm waiting for someone." Lloyd looked bewildered, and Kratos explained, "Yuan and Botta are supposed to be here for our weekly poker night."

"Oh..." Lloyd I. turned on the TV, which, coincidentally, was airing _Alien Today._

"_Perhaps across an immense, ethereal gulf, intellects vast, cool, and unsympathetic regard PlanetNintendo with envious eyes..._" A knock on the door was heard as Kratos let in Yuan and Botta, the latter of whom was carrying a poker mat under his arm. The sounds of setting up the mini-casino drowned out the next few lines from the TV, but after setting up, they were under way, although everyone's attention was on the TV. "_...reporting accounts of actual encounters with alien beings too hideous to describe, more **thing** than sentient being!_"

Botta chuckled. "I can't believe this guy. Every week it's another close encounter." He then tossed a poker chip into the pot. "Raise you 50 gald."

"I'll see your 50 gald." Yuan said. He then regarded of the aliens, "You know it's all a fake. That's 50 gald to you, Kratos."

"And I raise you 100 gald." Kratos tossed two poker chips into the pot. "I'm telling you, it's true, you guys. That Reed guy's an expert. He knows what he's talking about."

"You mean you actually **believe **that junk, Kratos!" Botta spat out incredulously.

"Believe it? Course I believe it! I had a close encounter myself once."

"Kratos, please don't start..." Raine groaned from the other room as Lloyd listened on with interest.

"Happened nearly 20 years ago." Kratos began. "I was steering a Rheaird carrying cut-rate Sybakian transistors across the Grand Tethe'alla Bridge. All of a sudden, the radio starts acting funny. Grass all around me is blowing flat. There's this weird light coming from all directions. Next thing I know, I'm wandering around the parking lot of the Meltokio smorgasbord. Now how the heck did that happen?"

"Did anyone else see this flying saucer?" Yuan asked.

"Nope. I was the only witness." Yuan and Botta looked at each other, then at Kratos skeptically. He growled, "You don't believe me, do you? Mark my words, flying saucers do exist and we're going to see aliens someday, and they're going to look exactly like that!" He pointed to a picture of an alien, and Lloyd suddenly had an idea that would make Halloween interesting.

* * *

"...and we'll look exactly like this." Lloyd said to his assembly of friends in the kitchen, pointing to the alien picture he head taken from Kratos' room after the poker game. 

"But, Lloyd!" Genis protested. "I wanted to go as pirates!"

"No, Vikings!" Falco shot out.

"How about clowns?" Pikachu added.

"We must dress as aliens!" Lloyd bellowed angrily. "The whole point of Halloween is to scare people and make them give you candy!" Everyone sighed in disappointment, and then Lloyd began giving orders. "Colette, Pikachu, Falco, you get the silver fabric. Genis, you scrounge up some foil. We're going to need lots and lots of foil." The halfling flashed a smile and a thumbs-up at Lloyd, who grinned. "Treecko, you get the face paint." He then saw Ness and Pichu carrying an extension cord outside the lunch counter, and yelled, "Ness! Pichu! You in or out?"

"Definitely out; we've got something planned for Halloween night." Pichu told them. His mind sparked an idea, and he grinned. "Hey, Link and the older folks are holding a party in here Halloween night."

"Wha-? And they didn't tell us?" Lloyd spat out. "Then we're crashing it!" He was received by lots of cheering from the assembly gathered around him. Ness gave Pichu a warning look.

"Wait a minute; you're having all of them show up at that party?"

"They'll be our alien invasion; it's perfect!" Pichu said slyly, staring at Lloyd as he tucked his hair under a pot, stuck it on his head, and wrapped a cloak around himself. "If we time this right, we'll scare Link and the others right out of their minds."

* * *

A few more days passed, and the bell at the Grand Metropolis soon rung out the dreary, cold hours for Halloween night, fear and panic lingering on the wind's breath. At the Smash Mansion, Zelda, dressed as a pirate, (Imagine Tetra from Wind Waker, except with long hair and more height to her physical stature, and you get Zelda) handed out candy to various kids from the Grand Metropolis that knocked on the door of said Mansion. Lloyd was looking at himself in the mirror, and he grinned. He looked so...so...terrifying. He decided to try it on Kratos, who was reading a newspaper. "I missed the spread by one lousy point on that one...come on, I got to have won something...what's going on?" 

"Kratos!" Lloyd exclaimed.

"What?"

"What do you think of my costume?"

"It's fine, Lloyd." Kratos said, not looking up from the paper.

"Kratos, you haven't even looked at my costume."

"I know these things. You look nice."

"DAD!" Lloyd's patience was deteriorating rapidly. "I just want you to look at the costume I'm wearing."

Kratos looked up, and almost hid a smile. "I see it; it looks fine." He then turned back to his paper. "Oh, how could Eagleland win again!"

"Well, something's better than nothing..." Lloyd muttered to himself. "If anyone needs me, I'll be out trick-or-treating..." Passing by the door, he was amused to see Link, dressed as Legolas from Lord of the Rings, standing at the door with a bowl of worms and cockroaches in it. Man, he would scare the crap out of the kids good...and he had that chance as the trick-or-treaters rang the doorbell.

"Trick or treat!"

"Oh, you all look so adorable. Why don't you help yourself to some...WORMS AND COCKROACHES!" The kids screamed and ran away, dropping their precious sugary loot in the process. "Happy Halloween!" Link yelled as he picked up the fallen candy and the wussier of the trick-or-treaters ran away back to the city.

Meanwhile, the party was well under way in the cafeteria, as many of the Smashers mingled and talked. Fox and Luigi were arguing about their choice of costume, though.

"You-a can't be a Frankenstein-a!"

"NO! I am Frankenstein today!"

"Oh, this-a is where your-a scars come in-a handy..." Somewhere nearby, Sheeda was playing bagpipes, and you could hear Roy complaining about his costume, which was Dracula.

"Lilina, what did you do to my cape?"

"I think it looks great, Roy..." The girl replied, dressed as Lyn from Fire Emblem. "I have sixteen holes in my fingers; I don't know what more you want of me!"

A jukebox in the corner of the room was playing all kinds of music, from pop to rock to R&B to hip-hop. Had one taken a closer look, however, they would have noticed a network of wires climbing up the wall and into a stationery jack-o-lantern. They wormed out of the pumpkin, and ascended the walls up to a makeshift station that Ness and Pichu had set up on the rooftop. Various tables surrounded them, and on those tables were items like an empty mayonnaise jar, a bowl of pasta, and most importantly, a radio transmitter hooked up to the jukebox. Ness asked Pichu, "Well, Pichu?"

"It's show time. It's 7:49." Pichu said, looking at his pocket watch. "I told Lloyd to bring everyone over at 8."

"Hey, Pichu! I see them." Ness said, pointing to the roadway in front of them. "They're at least 50 yards away from the Mansion."

"Looks like they went to town and ate dinner..." Pichu noted.

"Thank goodness security's off tonight." Ness added. "Otherwise, our prank wouldn't work."

"Let's go, Ness." Pichu said, taking a position next to a phonograph. "It's time for the alien attack." He put on an empty record on the phonograph and played it, making an eerie scratching sound as it did. Pichu gave the thumbs-up to Ness, who took several seconds to clear his throat before speaking down the phonograph's stereo, deepening his voice and making it unrecognizable.

"_We interrupt this broadcast to bring to you a special bulletin. A large, saucer-like craft of unknown origin is reported to have landed at the Driscoll Pier in Nelson's Landing._" Pichu grinned widely, and Ness had to stifle a chuckle as to not blow their cover. Meanwhile, the Mansion Halloween party was conversing loudly, and Link was trying to quell the situation.

"Quiet!" Link commanded, to no avail. "Shh, shh—quiet, everybody. Quiet! What? Quiet, everybody; something's going on!" The group of Smashers finally shut their mouths, only to be horrified as the 'broadcast' dragged on.

"_I repeat: there are reports of an alien spacecraft landing at Driscoll Pier in Nelson's Landing._" Everyone at the party listened on with interest. "_I'm at the scene, where a small crowd has gathered around the scorched area where the saucer-like craft has landed. Wait, wait!_" Lilina gasped and embraced Roy for comfort. "_The top of the craft...seems to be opening, unscrewing like a huge lid._" On the roof, Pichu had opened the jar inside the trash can, making it sound like something huge was opening. Ness grinned. "_Now it's opening...and...some...thing...is coming out._" Pichu then scurried over to the valve on a nearby oxygen tank and opened it, giving off a HISS as it did. He squelched pasta in his hands, tossed bags of flour to the ground, and smacked the hell out of a punching bag, all as sound effects for the broadcast. "_Oh, my! Several of them, several...with huge, bulbous heads! I can hardly bear to look at them! They're...so...revolting!_"

"This is a joke, right?" Daisy whispered to the startled Link, who could only listen on in unease.

* * *

**Meanwhile, on Route 280 between the Grand Metropolis and Chancellorsville...**

A young man of only 16 sat in a news van, parked at a lush, forested rest stop between cities. His freckled face was full of fear and worry, and he brushed his bronze locks nervously out of his eyes before replacing his glasses. He was manning the editing station in the van. He grabbed the walkie-talkie nervously, switched it on, and spoke into it. "Uh, Mr. Reed, sir? This is Johnny. Uh..."

It was none other than Jonathan Reed, the host of _Alien Today_, who picked up on the other line. "_Come in, Johnny._"

"Uh, yeah, sir, can I come back to the station now?" Johnny asked, stuttering and sweating. "It's...uh...it's Halloween night, and I-" He never finished his thought.

Jonathan Reed, sitting in his studio at the Television B TV Station on Chancellorsville's outskirts, did not sound at all happy that his assistant was backing out on him. "No, you can not come back to the station! It's All Hallows' Eve, the perfect night for aliens to try and infiltrate our planet disguised as Nintendians!" His voice lowered to a whisper that had a threatening tone to it. "I sent you out to look for signs of paranormal alien activity, and that's what you will continue to do until your shift ends at 10 o'clock!"

"_But I..._" Johnny started.

"Over and out, Mr. Johnny." Reed muttered, unceremoniously hanging up on the poor guy.

Johnny, having been defeated, could do nothing but sigh as he got into the news van and drove towards the Grand Metropolis. 15 minutes later, the sound of whooshing cars and people's conversations welcomed him into the city as he followed the highway past the different buildings and close to the Mansion. He beat on the steering wheel like it was a bongo, and sighed. "I can't believe this...like I'm really going to find aliens on Halloween night." He decided to turn on the radio for some tuneage, and got something else entirely.

"_Seven or eight aliens have climbed out of the spacecraft._" Ness's voice blared through the radio as Johnny was listening. "_Oh, I see their leader. If possible, this one is more hideous in appearance..._" It took a full five minutes for Johnny's brain to register the broadcast, and he flipped.

"HOLY COW!"

"_They've now left the landing site and are proceeding to the West Side!_" Ness continued. "_I believe they're headed down Route 280, towards the Smash Mansion!_"

"Smash Mansion?" Marth paced around the Mansion's cafeteria, twirling his sword about. "_Our _Smash Mansion?" Everyone gasped, and Daisy fainted into Luigi's arms. He caught her without mishap.

"Smash Mansion?" Johnny asked, flooring the pedal and speeding down the highway like a bullet, past a sign saying 'Smash Mansion: 7 miles away.' Johnny slowed down a bit, and he saw Lloyd and his troupe dressed as aliens about 25 yards away from the Mansion. "Oh, my gosh! The aliens! I...got to get this on tape!" He nearly dropped his phone in excitement as he called the TV station.

"_Jonathan Reed here..._" the alien show host answered.

"Boss? Mr. Reed? I found aliens!" Johnny said excitedly.

"_Great Scott, man, get it on video!_" Reed's voice blurted out in shock. Johnny got out a camera and began to position himself in front of the opulent Mansion. Meanwhile, inside the building, Link was trying to get everyone under control and avoid unnecessary panic, with some extent of success.

"**_Now, listen_**!" he bellowed loudly. "You all know there's no such thing as aliens. Now, let's all calm down; this is no time to panic." Several moments later, the doorbell rang, and the room erupted in chaos, havoc and noise as the Smashers began to panic again. Link just sighed and strolled over to the door, exasperated at his comrades' overwhelming stupidity. "It's just the door, you ninnies!" He opened the door, and Lloyd and his friends, dressed as aliens, stood on the doorstep. Somehow, Link had not noticed their costumes. "Yes?"

"Trick or treat!"

Link finally took notice of their costumes, and he screamed to high hell. "AAH! It's the aliens! They're here!"

"One side, Linky-boy..." Samus commanded as she fired several Charge Shots into the group. The 'aliens' panicked and ran away while Johnny was at the entrance, trying to film the aliens in a group shot. He only succeeded in filming a partial as Treecko ran down the poor cameraman, screaming for his mommy as he did. Needless to say, Jonathan Reed, who was at the station receiving the video feedback, was not pleased with the sudden cut-off.

"Johnny? Come in, Johnny..." He didn't receive an answer, and Reed threw the walkie-talkie to the floor in annoyance, breaking it into a few hundred pieces. "Damn it! I've lost the picture...I'm surrounded by incompetence!" He grabbed the video from the VHS player beneath the big screen and scrambled out, running to the nearest newscast set in his hurry.

* * *

"Well, I'm glad to see Lloyd's enjoying trick-or-treating." Kratos told Raine, who was playing Solitaire. "It's just you, me, and the wheel." He turned on the TV to watch _Wheel of Fortune_, but was cut off within the first five minutes. 

"_You! Out of that anchor chair!_" Reed said to the newscaster on set. He was about to ask, but was forcibly thrown from his chair. "_I'm taking over the whole station!_"

"Oh, what now?" Kratos asked. The TV screen was replaced with a special bulletin with Reed in the newscaster's chair.

"_We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special bulletin. Ladies and gentlemen, I have grave news! Radio transmissions were picked up tonight at the West Side Peninsula, near the Smash Mansion, reporting that aliens have landed!_"

"I knew it!" Kratos said, pounding his soda into the armrest. "I knew something funny was going on tonight, Raine!"

* * *

At a military base in Nelson's Landing, four people were hunched at a table with cards and various poker chips stacked in the center. The first was a man of 27, with curly beige hair and green eyes. Another was an intense man of 24, with brown and white hair and glasses perched in front of turquoise eyes. The third was a young man of 22, with silver-blue hair and purple eyes, and the fourth was a girl of 18 with teal-green hair, brown eyes and a nasty cut across her right cheek. All were hunched over the current game as an older man of 35 with black hair stroked his shaven beard in amusement. None would guess that this motley group of five was the leaders and top generals in the Smash Island's military. Anyway, the three men had folded and let their cards fall to the table while the girl was grinning ear-to-ear. 

"Don't tell us..." the curly-haired man said as the girl showed them a royal flush. "Gaugh! Hey, Jairus!" he called to the man watching them. "You play in my place!"

"No, thank you, Joseph." Jairus replied. "The last time I ever gambled was the first time I played poker with a mathematician."

"So much for that..." Joseph said, blowing some stray curls out of his face.

"Oh, come on! It's probably just luck, you guys!" the girl squeaked.

"Pfft...yeah, right, Penelope." The glasses man replied in amusement. "You probably rigged this game!"

"That's mean, Damian!" Penelope sobbed.

"Damian!" the silver-blue haired man said. "Now's not the time...now apologize to her."

"Sorry, Penelope." Damian told the sobbing girl, before turning back to the young man in annoyance. "But come on, Andrew! There's like a million in one chance to get the needed cards!"

"Then there's still that chance, is there?" Andrew retorted, eyes twinkling.

"Ah, screw this." Damian muttered. "I'm watching TV."

"Come on! Don't be a poor sport!" Penelope taunted.

"Whatever..." Damian pushed the ON button and noticed the newscast. His eyes widened. "Hey, guys? Take a look at this!"

"Take a look at what?" Joseph asked.

"Just get over here!" That called the others' attention, and watched the newscast that followed. "_...Radio transmissions were picked up tonight at the West Side Peninsula, near the Smash Mansion, reporting that aliens have landed!_"

"Aliens?" Penelope asked. "Whoa!" This captured the generals' attention, along with the attention of everyone on the island, including Botta in Mauritania, Yuan in his Nelson's Landing hideout, and Peach, who was shopping for cake ingredients in Mauritania's Market Street.

"_Before we lost contact with our reporter at the scene, we received this video fragment._" He played the same video footage that Johnny was starting to record before he was trampled by Lloyd and the others. This had net a slew of different responses from the audience. Kratos dropped his soda on the floor; Yuan had inched closer to the TV; Peach's eyes widened as she dropped her groceries; Botta spat out a glass of water he had been drinking. Meanwhile, the five generals: Jairus, Joseph, Damian, Penelope and Andrew, were all frightened to various degrees as the newscast continued its fearful course. "_I think the meaning of this footage is self-evident. Aliens have indeed landed among us! They intend to take no prisoners, and their ultimate goal clearly is to enslave the Nintendian race!_" Suddenly, one of his aides rushed up to Reed and whispered something in his ear, and Reed's eyes widened as he nodded at the soundcheck person. "_Just a moment, just a moment-I'm receiving a radio transmission from the scene. An unknown source..._" He signaled with his hands, and Ness' radio newscast went live on the air as everyone on the Island who had or was near a TV listened on with interest, fear and doubt.

"_I see it—huge—like nothing I've ever seen: the mother ship!_" Ness bellowed through the phonograph stereo on the Mansion's rooftop. "_I repeat, it's landed at Driscoll Pier, and it's huge, with pulsing rings of light around it! The mother ship!_" He then whispered agonizingly to Pichu, "Pichu, cue the lights!"

"Young Link, come in, Young Link!" Pichu hissed into the walkie-talkie. "The eagle has landed."

"I don't see an eagle here, Pichu." Young Link protested, from his lookout point at the edge of the Driscoll Pier in Nelson's Landing. "But I'm going to go ahead and plug in the mother ship." With that, he took care not to be seen as he followed the cord over to the plug, and stuck in into a socket at a nearby junction box. The water tower at the edge of the pier instantly became aglow as the shiny platinum surface reflected the light from the Christmas light strings Young Link had raided from the Mansion's closet and wrapped around the water storage tank. "It's pretty, Pichu! Over." Suddenly, the power junction began to spark, and several minutes later the power failed, lights being snuffed out all over the island, from Chancellorsville to Mauritania, from the Grand Metropolis to the Smash Mansion. The only city that didn't go out was Neonopolis, which had a back-up power plant. "Hey! All the other lights went out! Now isn't that a coincidence? Over..."

"Look!" Fox panicked, pointing out the window towards Nelson's Landing, where they could see a glowing something over the water. "It's the mother ship!"

"AUGH!" Luigi screamed girlishly. "It's-a the end of the-a world!" With this outburst, everyone in the Mansion screamed themselves into a panic. Likewise, in many of the cities across the Smash Island, everyone panicked and ran around, screaming, and some of the people broke storefront windows and started riots, causing mass confusion, panic and disarray all over the island nation. As police sirens echoed through the empty air that night, Pichu was trying to contact Young Link again, but to no avail.

"Young Link? Young Link?" He gave up and placed the walkie-talkie on the table. "Oh, well. I wonder if our little radio show scared anybody."

* * *

"MEN!...and, um, women..." Andrew addressed the four other generals in the room with him, along with several platoons of soldiers. "You have heard the news, right?" 

"You mean the radio announcement?" Mitchell Eldridge asked. He was a young man who headed the Nanotechnology Division of the military. "Sure, I think everyone on the island heard it."

"Did they now?" Antoinette de Lyon asked. She headed the Riot Control division of the military. "I wouldn't say that much..."

"Unfortunately, Eldridge is right." Andrew motioned to Damian, who handed him a roll of paper. Reading it, he explained: "Bristol here has been getting reports of the condition of the island. As far as we know, the TV newscast was broadcast to everyone on the island with access to a TV."

"Holy crap..." Penelope squeaked. "So what do we do now, Andwoo?"

"Don't call me that..." Andrew muttered as several of the guards were trying desperately to hide their laughter. "Ladies and gentlemen, we must stop this alien invasion from tearing apart our homes, our lives; yes, the very fabric of our society! There is a chance that many of us will not survive tonight...but we must take that chance if we are to rid this island of the approaching menace." He clenched his fist and shouted to the assembly before him. "ARE YOU WITH ME?" The crowd of soldiers shouted and screamed in general agreement. "Good!"

"But how exactly are we going to handle this, milord?" Joseph asked. He had a rose in his hands and was showing it off in an elaborate stage bow.

"We're going to split up; you mutton-headed flat! What else did you think we were going to do? Cavanaugh!"

"Yes?" Jairus asked.

"You will take a few soldiers with you to guard the Merrimac Dam outside the Grand Metropolis. We don't need the aliens knocking out the main power generator for the island. Salazar!"

"Milord..." Joseph answered.

"You will take more troops with you to the city of Chancellorsville and camp-out in the nearby ruins to take out any aliens if they survive against Cavanaugh and his forces, which would be highly unlikely. Bristol!"

"What is it?" Damian asked.

"You and your forces will work with Antoinette and her forces in Neonopolis to keep the peace, in a sense. Keep riots from breaking out there. Use deadly force, if necessary, which I hope won't be needed. Argosy!"

"Yes, Andwoo?" Penelope squeaked.

"Didn't I tell you to stop calling me that? Oy..." Andrew grumbled. "Anyway, just guard the area around Mauritania and the nearby Angel Summit. And you must also eliminate any remaining aliens if there are any left after passing through the other three."

"What about me?" Mitchell demanded.

"You're going to stay here with me in Nelson's Landing. I'll guard the city and also find a way to destroy the mother ship here, too, before the otherworldly reinforcements arrive. Does everyone have it?" After receiving several cheers and yeses from the military standing before him, Andrew asserted, "Okay, guys, let's go all out!"

"YEAH!" Before everyone left, Andrew had called for Penelope to stay behind. When everyone left, he decided to chat with the young girl.

"So, um...you okay?"

"Yeah." Penelope chirped. "I guess it's time to put up and shut up..."

"Very true..." Penelope turned to leave, but Andrew stopped her once more. "Hey, wait!"

"Yes?"

"Um...if we both get out of this alive, how about we share a bit of lunch at the Wheel of Cog restaurant in Neonopolis to celebrate? Just the two of us, hmm?"

"Really...?" Penelope could feel the blood rush to her face, and jumped into Andrew's arms. "I'd love to, Andwoo!"

"Penelope..." Andrew sighed. He put her back onto the ground, and let the female general leave for her destination, leaving him, Mitchell and their troops with the emptiness of silence in the military base once more.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Smash Mansion, Link and Zelda were piling bags and various belongings into the back of Link's minivan. Link was just about done when Zelda rushed back into the Mansion hurriedly, nearly trampling Kirby in the process. She came back moments later with a huge box of canned goods and a medical kit. Handing them off to Link for storage, she gasped, "By Din's Fire...what a night!" 

"What a night indeed..." Meanwhile, Ness and Pichu had sneaked off the rooftop and out into the courtyard, where they saw both Hylians pile various objects into a green minivan. Curiosity got the better of them as they stepped over to the loading area, where Pichu was mistakenly picked up. "Ai—oh, sorry, Pichu. I thought you were a package." He waved his hand theatrically to the landscape of the island. "Now where have you two been? Can't you see that aliens are attacking and the island is in flames?"

"Whoa, slow down, Link!" Pichu squeaked in its high-pitched voice. "It was us! We did it to scare you."

"We did a radio show on the roof!" Ness added. "It was us!"

"This is no time for jokes, you guys!" Zelda protested, hauling more canned goods into the minivan. "Look!" She pointed to the faraway water tower at Nelson's Landing. "There's their mother ship!"

"Zelda, that's the Driscoll Pier water tower in Nelson's Landing." Pichu explained. "Young Link's over there. He lit it with Christmas lights."

"Who? Wha—?" Link stammered. "But then, what about those silver, bulbous, ugly-looking creatures that came to our front door!"

"That was Lloyd and Falco and Pikachu and the rest of the Smashers we know." Pichu stated.

"Whoa, wait a minute!" Zelda said in tones of surprise. "That was you on the radio?"

"Yeah!" Pichu said. "We used your old radio transmitter in the storage room and set it up so you guys would pick up the broadcast at the Halloween party."

"Yeah!" Ness added. "Check this out!" He picked up an amplifying cone from a nearby box and spoke into the larger end first to deepen his voice, the same way he did so with the phonograph. "_We interrupt this broadcast to bring to you a special bulletin. Aliens have landed._" When he finished, there was a bit of an extra twinkle in Zelda's eyes, and Link had a smile playing on his lips.

Link was the first to respond, and he laughed jovially. "Well, what do you know? That was you! Oh, very impressive."

"But what about Jonathan Reed flapping his gums about it on TV?" Zelda asked the two youngsters while placing the cone into the minivan. "How did you convince him?"

Pichu was thrown for a loop with that question, and his jaw dropped to the concrete floor, color draining from his face. "Wait a minute. **Jonathan Reed** was talking about it on TV?"

"Yeah!" Zelda continued. "It was a special bulletin, just like your prank! The only difference was that he was showing video of the same aliens that came to our front door! The news is all over the nation; the island is in panic!"

"Uh-oh..." Ness breathed.

"The TV Station must have picked up our radio show!" Pichu reasoned. He turned to the Hero of Time and asked in a fearful manner, "Link, what happened to Lloyd and the Smashers after you saw them?" A piercing scream from the front gate of the Mansion caught everyone's attention and Pichu and the others turned to see Lloyd, Falco, Colette, Genis, Pikachu, Treecko, Mario and Mewtwo (surprise!) run past the main gate, knocking over a few garbage cans strewn about on the street. After them were several Smashers, whom Link identified as Daisy, Roy, Lilina, and Samus, wielding their weapons and trying to slaughter them. They didn't exactly hit their mark, indicated by a tree that fell over the wall and into the driveway. Next was a few Wire Frames from the training grounds, trying to calm the hyperactive Smashers, and following them was Master Hand, who was trying to keep everyone from running away at one time. After the parade of various Smashers, Link just sighed and shook his head in complete exasperation.

"Well, Pichu, looks like we'd better save your friends. Hop in, guys!" With that, Link locked the trunk and hopped into the driver's seat, with Zelda, Ness and Pichu not too far behind. They drove out of the garage and onto the cobblestone driveway and were about to turn left onto Route 280, past the abandoned news van, when out of the blue, Bowser stumbled onto the road, furious. His shell was painted camouflage, and there were stripes of black underneath his eyes. Had he not looked angry, he would have been a hilarious sight, but with that dark scowl, he looked like a vision of Hell on Nintendo. Nevertheless, Link asked politely, "Bowser, what are you doing? It's a bad night to be out!"

His eyes, full of fiery hate, narrowed into little slits. "No one has the right to take over the world without **my** say-so!" Link and Zelda just sweatdropped, Ness' mouth was agape, and Pichu was holding back laughter. "Don't wait up." He snarled as he took the news van and sped off down the highway, skid marks on the road the only indication of Bowser's direction. All four just sat in Link's minivan and stared at the empty road before them until Zelda finally spoke.

"Crazy old Koopa..."

"Yep..." With that, Link hit the pedal and sped off down the highway, towards the Grand Metropolis. He thought all he had to do was to rescue the Smashers, but boy, was he wrong. He was very wrong.

* * *

"_I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies,_

_This is the dawning of the rest of our lives..._

_On holiday..._" –Holiday, Green Day

* * *

Yep, that's the first chapter. I decided I had to use every scrap of skill I had obtained from reading and writing to type up this story. Please review after you read! It won't hurt you one bit, nor will it take you umpteen minutes! 

Gamer21

P.S. Nintendo Nut1, I hope you don't mind my using your "put in songs into the story to get people in the mood" method! PLEASE?

Nintendo Nut1: I don't.

Eliwood: What am I doing here...?

EEP! (faints)


	2. A Long Way Down

Chapter 2 of War of the Weirds starts right now, folks. Oh, and Nintendo Nut1, you might recognize quite a few of the moments from your story, _Brother Squadron..._

NN1: Didn't I tell you I don't mind?

No.

NN1: T.T NO ONE LOVES ME!

Link: (trying to be nice) It's okay. I don't think you're **too **bad...

NN1: Oh, thank you, Link! I feel so...HAPPY! (glomps Link)

Link: AAH!

Pichu: Now, about _Brother Squadron_, he has the entire story saved to his computer. It'd be kinda hard **not **for him to copy the whole thing.

SHADDUP! Here's the story...now excuse me while I 'chastise' Pichu.

Pichu: DON'T HURT ME! (sobs)

NN1: Sucks to be Pichu. (eating chocolate)

Link: Yep.

**Responses:**

**_Anters_**: Ah, that's quite alright. Most of the time, I don't have enough time to update because of homework.

Anyway, I do think the plot is quite good. Quoting GunpowderWizard, it's quite fun to see an innocent little prank go horribly wrong. Also, I'm planning a story for each Smasher, so each of them will get some spotlight. Pretty neat, huh?

Also, you are right-I am planning a sequel to my _Amazing Race_ story. I have several people that want another race like that...oh well. At times like this, all you can do is keep writing. Okay, then...ttyl!

**_Kirbstar_**: Glad to see you're enjoying this story...I know I am. And all the young ones will be connected to the 'alien invasion' in some way, shape, or form.

Also, adding Mewtwo was funny! You'll see why in a future chapter.

**_Lightpaladin_**: Oh, it's quite all right. I don't think I'll have this done by Halloween...

Link: You got that right.

NN1: Shush! (turns Link into a wolf)

Wolf Link: T.T Not funny. (Nintendo Nut1 squeezes him) X.X

**_Polska_**: You like Green Day? Trust me, there's enough Green Day songs in this story that it'll make you faint.

**_RoyalFanatic_**: Oh! What's the big secret? I won't tell a soul... ;)

Also, characters from two of your favorite games (Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones and Tales of Symphonia) will appear! Isn't that great?

**_GunpowderWizard_**: Ah...this is going to turn into hell for our little pranksters, I can assure you of that...heh heh heh...

Pichu: (gulp)

And no, I don't have an MSN Messenger account, although I want one so bad!

**_Nintendo Nut1_**: We'll see if I can put in some more Marth and Roy, alright? And I've been planning this story for **six months**, so I should think it'll be good.

**_razzkat_**: And a Happy Halloween to you, too.

**_Opus Triumphant_**: Thanks! And thank you for being my first reviewer! Anyway, I love the fact that you have taken the time to read this. If you're going to review all the chapters, then check for me if I've written it well, alright?

All right, then. Let's punch in and get to work.

* * *

"_Must be something they're hiding,_

_Must be reasons that no one will dare to tell._

_Must be something inside me;_

_But I don't think so anymore..._

_It's hurting again now,_

_And I don't need friends when I have foes like you..._

_It's hurting again now,_

_It's killing me to be here all alone..._

_Go away; it's all the same..._

_There's more for me..."

* * *

_

_**Chapter 2: A Long Way Down**_

**The Merrimac Dam, Grand Metropolis**

"How long is Andrew going to make us stay here!" one of the soldiers complained. "We have lives, too, you know!"

"Aah, shut up, Johnson. We've only been here for five minutes." Another soldier scolded.

"Really? I thought it was six..." As a chilling wind blew across the length of the dam and leaves danced around the soldiers, Jairus Cavanaugh stared into the night sky as he smoked. A serenade of blues and blacks greeted the general, as he stared into the night sky and watched the stars dance across the sky, carefree in their movements. The elder general sighed and drove his cigarette butt into the concrete of the wall he was lying upon. He sighed pensively; his only comfort left in this world was the night sky, left after that apocalypse had destroyed Earth and borne it again as Nintendo.

His personal reverie was interrupted by the sound of a car horn. Irritated by the noise and bright lights, Jairus jumped off onto the road and nearly decked the nearest soldier in his sights. "Who the hell is this?"

"Don't know. Guy says he's looking for the aliens." Jairus raised his eyebrows and strolled languidly up to the minivan, where Link and another soldier were yelling angrily at each other. Sighing in exasperation, he shoved the guy aside.

"Who is this I am talking to?"

"Look, my name is Link, okay?" Link explained in a cool manner. "I'm just looking for my friends, who dressed up as aliens for Halloween. They're being mistaken for the real thing!"

"Yeah!" Pichu added. "It was all a prank-mmph!" Link quickly clasped a hand over Pichu's mouth. He let it go after a few seconds as Jairus' eyebrows shot up in confusion.

"Don't tell him that, you idiot!" Link whispered nastily to Pichu. "We don't exactly know how we are going to handle this, but we sure as hell don't need the military on our heels!"

"Look, we haven't seen any aliens so far." Jairus answered.

"Oh, are you sure?" Link asked a little too quickly. "They're really noticeable and ugly and gross, and..."

"We haven't seen any."

"Are you sure you haven't?"

"Are you saying I'm stupid?" Jairus growled threateningly. His face shifted closer to Link's, and you could hear his ragged breathing. Link "Do I look stupid to you?"

"N...no..."

"Good." Jairus growled. He was about to let him pass when something opposite of the dam caught his eye. His eyes widened as he recognized them as the 'aliens' that Andrew had warned them about, followed by an angry mob of Smashers. Grabbing the Dragunov sniper rifle strung onto his back, he looked through the scope and adjusted it as necessary, aimed it at Lloyd's head and got ready to pull the trigger. Link noticed, however, and lightly rammed the general with the minivan's bumper. Lloyd's eyes widened as a bullet whizzed by his ear, followed by the loud BANG of the Dragunov seconds later. "You idiot! I-!"

"You nearly killed my friends!" Pichu shouted from the back of the car in protest as aliens and Smashers alike ran by them. Jairus stared on and growled, stomping his foot into the dam roadway, but unfazed, he pulled out a P99 and shot at the aliens.

"What the hell are you doing?" Zelda growled. "You're going to kill them!"

"I'm the one who should be asking you that!" Jairus retorted hotly. "You nearly ran us down!"

"Get out of here!" a voice yelled. It belonged to the same soldier that was arguing with Link, and he was holding a mean-looking rocket launcher in his hands. Link and the others had enough sense to scramble out of the car just as the soldier pulled the trigger. As they ducked behind a nearby wall, the missile struck the car and exploded, sending a shower of debris all over the dam roadway. The steel fireball of Link's car flew upward and fell, striking a piece of the nearby tourist center and sending it crashing to the bottom.

"Johnson!" Jairus protested. "I told you not to fire!"

Johnson protested. "Man, Jairus! I never get to shoot anybody!"

"Calm down..." Jairus said, moving his arms as to calm the trigger-happy soldier down. "We have plenty of stops to make tonight. You'll have your chance of shooting someone later tonight." The wording and his tone of voice didn't produce the desired result, because all Johnson did was sulk. But at least he shut up. "Thank you!"

Meanwhile, Link, Zelda, Ness and Pichu realized suddenly that, for the time being, no one was watching _them._ They slid quietly behind a concrete wall and crouched down, eyeing the road to the other side of the Merrimac Dam. Two more walls and a concrete tower would provide some concealment, but they would have to cross an open stretch of road to reach the other side itself. They shrugged and began moving.

They weren't even halfway to their goal when Johnson noticed them again. "AHA! TAKE THIS!"

"NO!" Jairus screamed. It was too late, however, and Jairus watched in horror as Johnson pulled the trigger on the rocket launcher again. Link and Zelda narrowly dodged the rocket and jumped onto the building below the dam's edge, but Ness and Pichu was less than lucky. They were hurled across the dam onto the roadway and simultaneously knocked out by stray concrete. Johnson was about to fire the rocket launcher again, but Jairus lowered the barrel and pointed it at the ground. "Johnson, you idiot!"

"Fine, then!" Johnson threw the launcher to the ground and sulked like a child that didn't get his way. "Don't give me a gun, then!"

"Not that!" Jairus pointed behind the soldier to the portion of the dam nearest the Grand Metropolis. "The way you're aiming, you're going to destroy the dam!"

"Oh, come on! It's not like we're standing on the-oh, crap..." Oh, crap, indeed. A large, ominous crack had formed in the asphalt of the roadway, concrete and metal falling into the reservoir and the bottom of the dam itself. As the tourist center crumbled and fell into the river far below, Johnson screamed like a girl, "What do we do now?"

"What else do you do when something's collapsing underneath you as you speak?" The dam gave off a large GROAN as it shook underneath all of them. "Retreat!"

"Aye-aye!" The sound of screeching tires and the smell of burning rubber echoed through the air as several soldiers rushed down a mountain path next to the dam in Humvees down to a train far below them, at the edge of the intake tower. Link and Zelda stared out below to the train, but suddenly, Johnson came back with the rocket launcher a third time to hit the two.

"So that's where we need to go..." Zelda turned around, and saw the barrel of Johnson's launcher trained at them. "Link! Look out!" Realizing that another explosion was heading their way, Link grabbed Zelda in his arms and leapt off the side of the building as another BOOM echoed throughout the canyon. Fumbling with the Hookshot and only seconds until they began falling, Link finally shot it at the top of the building's wall, acting as a rappel device and letting them hang from the building safely.

More explosions went off, and both Link and Zelda watched as fire, burning barrels and charred debris were pitched over the roof and down to yet another building below them, striking fatal blows to the soldiers below them. Glass daggers shearing their arms and flames licking at their bodies, Link and Zelda lowered themselves to the ground before collapsing in exhaustion. "Did we both make it out alive?"

"I think so..." Zelda answered, gingerly touching her wounds and reeling in pain.

"Here..." Link had tossed her a red potion from his knapsack while downing another one himself. "You'll need it."

"Thanks..." After consuming the medicine, she tossed the empty bottle at Link and asked, "Now what do we do?"

"We get off this thing before it bursts." He grabbed a Desert Eagle pistol and its holster from a fallen soldier, along with 4 clips of ammo from the other soldiers. He also grabbed a P99 and its holster, along with 5 clips of ammo, and tossed them to the Hylian princess. "Damn...it looks like we'll have to fight the military to get them back. I think you'll need to use this if we're going to have a chance against these guys..."

"What?" Zelda shrieked in terror. "I don't even like the Ray Guns in the Mansion, and I have to use this?"

"I'm sorry..." Link sighed ruefully as he prepared for Zelda's reaction. "You have to." As she sobbed into his shoulder, he held the princess close in his arms, to protect her as a father protects his child. "I really don't want you to use this weapon, either. But if we are to survive and rescue our friends, it's the only chance to ensure our survival. Will you do this?"

Zelda choked and nodded.

Link's face broke out into a grand smile. "You know what...I'll help you train as we go along in this journey, all right? Also, I am well aware that you are dabbling in the healing arts..."

"You are?" Zelda choked.

"Yes...can you use all your skills to keep us alive?"

"Of course!" She let herself be swept away in Link's hug, all her fears and worries seemingly floating away like feathers in the wind.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the bottom of the canyon, Johnson and another soldier were hoisting their new captives into the bullet train. Amidst the explosions echoing from the dam, the astonished 'ooh's that were breathed from soldiers watching the fiery spectacle, and the grunts of strong men carrying various boxes of guns and food onto the train, Jairus Cavanaugh was coolly staring into the comforting night sky, the small trail of smoke from his cigarette languidly floating up and into the sky.

"Um, sir?" The eldest general turned to see Johnson standing there, with a clipboard in his hands. "I...apologize for earlier..."

"Look at what your trigger-happy desires have created." Jairus nodded in the direction of the hydroelectric monstrosity, as fiery hunks of metal and crumbling debris rained into the river near the docks they were standing on. "I hope you're happy."

"Sorry, sir..." After a few tense moments between the duo, he stated, "But the military's bullet train is ready for safe and speedy evacuation, sir."

"Do we look anywhere near ready, Johnson?" Jairus motioned towards the boxes of food and supplies being carried onto the bullet train. "We'll wait until all the supplies are boarded onto the train before we make our departure."

"But, sir—!"

"DID I STUTTER?" Jairus yelled angrily at Johnson, who was using the clipboard in his hands to hide his face. "I don't care if the dam bursts by the time we get our supplies aboard! We will not move until my word. Do I have your support?"

"It goes without saying, sir..."

"Good. Now leave my presence at once." Jairus resumed staring up into the sky while blowing out a puff of smoke from his cigarette, and Johnson had no choice but to follow the general's orders as he went his way.

* * *

Link had grabbed Zelda and held her delicate frame close to him as he jumped off the side of the dam once again, using his Hookshot to avoid becoming a splat on the ground. As he continued to rappel down the side of the dam, he came to a platform jutting out the side and stopped for a break. "Hey, Zel...you still alive?"

"Yeah...the last time I checked, I was..." Zelda gasped as more flaming debris fell from above. She then looked at the P99 given to her, and asked nervously, "So, um...how do you fire a gun?"

"What, you haven't used the Ray Guns or the Super Scopes at the Mansion?"

"N...not particularly..."

Link just sighed as he helped her through the process. "Hmm...it looks like all you do is pull the trigger on this one. BANG!" He formed his hand into a gun shape and pulled an invisible trigger. "You try now..."

Zelda steadied herself against Link and aimed the gun into the sky, at a piece of falling debris. Two seconds later, a gunshot echoed throughout the canyon as the piece of debris burst into dust. "Wow...I did it!"

"Hey, Zeke! I think I heard something out there..." The blood drained from Link's face as his heart skipped at least three beats. But he kept a cool look to make sure Zelda didn't panic. The last thing he wanted was a frightened comrade to give away their position. Without warning, he grabbed her wrist and dragged her behind a steel crate situated on the platform big enough to hide the both of them from view.

"Be quiet and stay still..." Link told the anxious princess. "I'll take care of this...you just keep quiet until I say so." He quickly wormed his way up to the doorway, taking great care to not let himself be seen.

"Well, whaddaya want me to do?" another voice screeched.

"For the love of God...take a goddamn look, Zeke! It's not that hard!" As Zeke carefully stepped out, he gazed around the lookout with attentive dark eyes, his hand reaching for the Magnum in his leg holster. As he was about to step back into the dam, he felt a hand cover his mouth and a leg trap his in a chokehold. His eyes widened as he felt a gun barrel touch his head, and fell over to the ground, cranial matter oozing from the hole in his skull. Link carefully stepped into the room, and was greeted with a series of shouts.

"What the hell-? Who are you?"

"Who cares, let's shoot him!" Link quickly rolled behind a crate and ducked as bullets whistled through the empty air where his chest was moments before. Carefully gazing out while the soldiers reloaded, he fired twice and peeked at the soldiers, killed from fatal wounds to the chest. Link glanced around and cracked a bit of a grin.

"That takes care of that..."

"Not quite." Link cringed as the point of a revolver was shoved into the back of his neck. A male of dark skin grinned with crooked teeth, pushing it further on a segment of his vertebrate. "Do you have any last requests?"

"How about letting me go, huh?"

"Why, you imprudent—!" Before he could finish, another gunshot rang out, and Link felt the pressure on his neck lessen. The gunman fell over with a gaping hole in his cranium as his Magnum clattered to the floor beside him. Link was about to swivel his head around to locate the source of the shot when he saw Zelda standing in the doorway, a wisp of smoke floating out from the barrel of her P99.

"Um...are you okay, Link?"

"Yeah...thanks for the help, Zel." The princess giggled a little bit, and then stared at the dead soldier on the floor.

"Not bad for a first shot, huh?"

"I'll say..." Link said, looking at the gun wound. As he did so, he swiped a grenade from the corpse. "A remarkably clean shot through the head."

"Hey, who are...?" Both Hylians felt the color drain from their faces as two soldiers showed up framed in the windows on either side of the room, rappelling equipment strung to their belts.

"Zelda! MOVE!" As bullets whizzed past their fleeing figures, Link had yanked out the grenade's pin with his mouth and tossed it into the room. The soldiers' eyes widened, but they never stood a chance. As Link grabbed Zelda, jumped off the ledge, and launched the Hookshot into the wall, a fiery cloud of smoke erupted from the doorway behind them as the soldiers were incinerated from the blast.

* * *

"Sir!" Johnson yelled nervously as the blast echoed throughout the canyon. "I think those two from the roadway are still alive!"

"What!" Jairus yelled. He grabbed a set of binoculars from a crate sitting next to him and glared upward towards the source of the blast, and noticed Link and Zelda traversing the flaming wall of the dam. "How the hell did they survive that?"

"I don't know, sir! What do we do?" Johnson panicked.

"...activate the flaming barrier." With that, Jairus sprinted through the mess of soldiers hurriedly packing supplies into the bullet train, and skidded to a stop in front of a junction box on the side of the dam. Swinging the door open, he pounded the large red button inside, and grinned when flames sprouted up from the edge of the dam. "That'll stop them in their tracks."

"And if it doesn't?" Johnson asked worriedly.

"Don't be so anxious." Jairus sneered. "We'll be long gone by the time they get past it."

* * *

"Uh-oh...these flames may present a bit of a problem." Link stated after nearly landing in them rappelling down the side of the dam. Zelda wasn't as lucky as part of her dress was charred.

"Maybe there's an emergency shutoff switch somewhere?" Zelda asked. Link just stared at the princess, who just gave a shrug. "Just suggesting." Link just sighed and stepped into the bombed-out doorway behind them, and nearly gagged.

Small pillars of crumbling debris began to form on the floor. Guards were lying every which way, killed from the blast, and the wooden rafters had fallen and lying on the side, splintered and ablaze. On the other side of the room was a fuel line that lay intact, running alongside the wall and up to the edge, where the flames were shooting out. "Well, it looks like you're right. Come on..."

As they made their way through the room towards the fuel line, they had to quickly roll as parts of the ceiling above them began falling to the floor, evaporating in a shower of dust. Amazingly, they made it through the fiery gauntlet and onto the small ledge next to the dam and followed the gas line up to a large tank sitting on the ledge. Because it was too big to hop over, Link and Zelda slinked over to the opening past the tank, near a switch embedded into the wall.

Several soldiers burst out of a door on the other side of the gap, wielding pistols and Magnums. As bullets tore by their quivering forms, Zelda squeaked as a bullet came very close to splitting her head open like an overripe melon. She screamed and slid down the wall in panic, inadvertently flipping the switch in the process.

Steam ruptured forth from the grate underneath the Hylians' would-be executioners, scalding and stunning them for only a few moments. But they were long enough for Link and Zelda to take out all the soldiers with some well-directed lead to the skull. They slumped over, dead, as Link cautiously tiptoed over to the gas tank, motioning for Zelda to follow as soon as the coast was clear.

"Here's the source of the flames..." Link said.

As Zelda spun the circular red valve to the left, she said "This should shut off the barrier." And lo and behold, the flames on the edge of the dam shuddered, spluttered and died away, retreating into the pipe on its edge.

* * *

"SIR!" Johnson had panicked yet again, and ran up to Jairus, who was overseeing the supply line, disobeying his superior's order not to be anxious. "The flaming barrier is down!"

"Didn't I tell you not to be anxious?" Jairus growled at the sergeant. "I've already sent up a unit to stop them. Even if they breach our final line of defense, we'll be long gone by then."

"I should hope so..." Johnson stated as the soldiers around him hoisted the last of the supplies onto the train. He looked over to the windows, where Ness and Pichu were pounding on them in a vain attempt to escape. "Otherwise we'll have problems with those two."

"It took you that long to notice?" Jairus muttered incredulously. He just shook his head in exasperation and continued chewing on a cigarette. "Whatever. Just do as I say, and stop panicking." At that point Johnson wisely shut his mouth for the time being.

* * *

"Phew...that was tiring." Link said, wiping sweat off his brow and glancing around his surroundings. "We better leave now."

"Yeah...Link, look out!" Before Link could ask what was going on, Zelda had shoved Link past the gas tank and into the alcove in the side of the wall. Just as they did so, a large BOOM echoed throughout the canyon as the gas tank nearby was swallowed in a white ball of flame. The fire carried into the barrier pipe and into four more gas pipes running down the side, causing more explosions and sealing the dam's fate. Zelda carefully stuck her head out and saw a mean-looking guard with an AT-420 rocket launcher in his hands. "Oh, crap..."

"What is it, Zel?"

"There's a guy with a rocket launcher outside..."

"Great...hold on...I have an idea." Link had started talking in a barely audible tone to Zelda by the ear, and when he pulled away she shook her head in disbelief.

"You want me to WHAT!"

"Come on, Zel. It's not going to be _that _bad..."

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this..." Sighing, she stepped out into the open, in full view of the heavy weapons guard. Lobbing a shell in her direction, she pulled out a translucent blue crystal and concentrated her energy upon it, whispering chants of Hylian tongue as she did. A blue crystal shield appeared in front of her and bounced the shell back at the unsuspecting guard, blowing him into the dam and sending the rocket launcher at Zelda's feet. She smiled and put away the crystal, letting the blue field of energy dissipate. "You can...come out now, Link."

Link grinned as Zelda tossed the rocket launcher at him. "Man, Zelda; that was cool! I told you it would work!"

"But will I have to do...this...again?" Zelda asked, a little exhausted from having to use Nayru's Love to reflect the rocket. "I think I used...up more energy...than I needed...to use..."

"It's okay...I hope..." Link said, letting the princess fall into his arms. "Hopefully this'll be the only time you have to use that."

"I hope so, too..." Zelda said, leaning upon Link's shoulder as they reentered the dam. However, several soldiers had scrambled out from behind the rubble and starting to fire at the two Hylians. Leaving Zelda behind the wall, Link had rolled past the opening and behind the crate, picking off the soldiers one by one. However, it seemed to him that the soldiers were multiplying like cockroaches.

"There's too many of them!" Link panicked.

"Link...Link!" When Link turned to look at Zelda, she pointed up to the ceiling, which was cracked and crumbled, at then at the AT-420 rocket launcher strapped to his back. Link followed her finger, and grinned in understanding.

"I see...good idea!" While the bullets from the enemies flew above his head, he carefully trained the rocket launcher and aimed it at the most cracked part of the ceiling. Suddenly, the room burst in the sounds of collapsing concrete and the pained shouts of soldiers as the entire ceiling caved in on them, burying them alive and also putting out part of the fire inside the chamber. "That'll shut 'em up for a while."

"I hope so..." Zelda said. With that, Link scooped Zelda up in his arms and jumped off the ledge, using the Hookshot to stay aloft against the wall. Meanwhile, a plume of smoke, fire and ash erupted from the hole behind them, incinerating the room and the soldiers buried inside. Stray concrete flew out into the river below, and one happened to land next to Jairus Cavanaugh's foot.

"They're here..." Johnson stated.

Jairus just looked at him with an air of brooding intensity and of high command. "I can see that, you moron." He shifted his gaze to the group of soldiers hauling the little left into the train, and he saw Ness and Pichu banging their fists on the windows. "All soldiers board the train for emergency evacuation now! Do not sit and haul the supplies any longer! We are pulling out at this minute!"

"Right, sir." While the soldiers, Jairus and Johnson sprinted through a mess of dropped crates and scrambled onto the train, Link and Zelda touched down on a glass canopy that covered a helipad feet above the raging river. Three soldiers touting pistols and an AK-47 sneered dangerously at the two Hylians, pointing the guns at their heads.

"Stop right there, fools!" The leader said, pointing the gun at Link's head. When Link saw Ness and Pichu banging on the window of the nearby train, he quickly glanced around and saw that he and Zelda were standing directly overhead the helipad.

"Sorry, guys...I've got a train to catch." With that, he shot out the glass beneath him. As the other three fell to their deaths, Link landed upright on the helipad, only to fall to the ground moments later because Zelda landed right on top of him. "Um, Zel? Are you okay?"

"Oh...yes, I am. Sorry..." Zelda scrambled off the Hero of Time, saying nothing out of embarrassment. Link turned around and saw that she was blushing so badly he thought her head would overheat. "Don't worry about me...we still have to rescue Ness and Pichu!"

"How are we supposed to do that?" With the train speeding away and the dam collapsing behind them, how _would _they saw the young ones?

* * *

"_As the world falls away, and I can't find a reason...  
_

_As the world turns to grey...  
_

_It's killing me unwillingly, and I am just the same as you..." _-World Falls Away, Seether

* * *

WOO-HOO! That's chapter 2 for y'all. Hopefully this'll compel you to review! Please?

NN1: Do it or I'll send Eliwood over to your school to create pandemonium!

Hmm...how about the entire Fire Emblem goon squad?

NN1: YAY!

Eliwood, Marth, Roy, Sheeda and Lilina: (weapons ready) Bring it on! (They all run into a school and create pandemonium.)

Link, Zelda and Pichu: O.O

Sigh...such is the way of life, friends. (pulls out a police hat and a whistle and points to the left) All right, people, panic in this direction!

Gamer21


	3. Train Chase

Pichu: ...hello? Anybody there?

(silence)

Zelda: What's up?

Pichu: I can't find the author.

Link: Oh well. Maybe we should start the story now, hmm? But first...the reviewers!

**Responses:**

**_Opus Triumphant_**: Why, thank you! Hopefully this next chapter will meet up to your standards?

**_Kirbstar_**: Okay, yes, I got some of the lines from "A Bug's Life." I like the movie!

Two, this was supposed to be an original idea. It was just pure coincidence that it sounded like _Shadow the Hedgehog_.

As per your theory, that might happen...you'll have to see.

**_Nintendo Nut1_**: Whoa. That's kinda creepy. How the hell do I keep guessing these things?

**_Anters_**: You are most welcome. The website is having some problems with some things, so I more or less have to put up with it. And you think that's the end of it? Heh, think again...we've got a **long** way to go before this is resolved.

**_GunpowderWizard_**: Um, Chicken Little? I haven't seen it yet...

Mindless destruction is good for the soul.

**_RoyalFanatic_**: Let's see...yes, Kratos was abducted by aliens. And if you think that's funny, watch his behavior as the story progresses. It'll make you laugh so hard that you'll...well, you'll laugh really hard.

As for the Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones character appearances, there are three intermissions: one after _Night Storm_, another after _A Show of Force_, and the final after _Thunder Road_. Their first appearance is the first intermission, and the final is at the end of the _A Simple Exchange_ chapter. Keep an eye out.

**_Lightpaladin_**: Thanks! This next chapter's for you, then.

Link: Well, that's done and over with...let's start up this thing! WOO-HOO!

* * *

"_And I'm a death threat haven't slept yet,_

_Baby, why the wake up call?_

_I'm the bad boy; tell the tabloids!_

_Everything's my fault._

_Whoa whoa whoa yeah, write it write it,_

_Whoa Whoa whoa everything's my fault,_

_Everything's my fault..._"

* * *

_**Chapter 3: Train Chase**_

**The Cobalt Canyon, Smash Island**

As the scowling figure of Jairus Cavanaugh paced up and down through the steering cabin of the bullet train, Ness and Pichu were struggling to escape the grasp of Alabama Johnson, Jairus' subordinate and the same person whose trigger-happy reflexes obliterated the Merrimac Dam. As the militant conductor pushed the lever slightly, the train picked up speed as it began to roll out of the station at the bottom of the dam. Soon they were at full speed, and the lights lining the side of the canyon became white blurs against the ebony and sepia of the canyon walls.

"Stop your squirming, you fuckballs!" Johnson shot out angrily when Pichu tried to jump at the train's controls. Jairus just growled slightly at his subordinate's supreme lack of tact.

"Do you think you could make your use of vocabulary a little less obtrusive, man?"

"Sorry, sir. Won't happen again..." Johnson waved his hands back and forth nervously while withering against Jairus' powerful scowl.

"I hope so..." Jairus got up from where he was sitting and started to mull his way over to the door.

"Where are you going?" Johnson asked with sudden annoyance, his anger about babysitting two kids getting the better of his fear for the moment. Jairus just gave him a piercing look, instantly shutting up the young man.

"I'm having some dinner. Don't wait up." Jairus casually nibbled at a cigarette as he stepped out of the front car and towards the dining car, leaving Johnson and the conductor with the squirming youngsters.

* * *

"What are we going to do?" Zelda asked as pieces of concrete fell around them. The bottom of the dam was in chaos; the buildings around it were exploding and going up in flames while various people, from soldiers to dam workers, began to panic and run around aimlessly instead of trying to escape the fiery destruction. An explosion from a nearby construction crane sent a steel girder flying into the dam with enough force that it drove straight through it, sending an ominous crack inching up the wall. They could see water and concrete forcing its way through. "I don't want to die!" 

"I don't think we'll have to..." Zelda followed Link's gaze to a sports car near the west landing, a plasma cannon (A/N: STARFOX! XD) lying in the passenger seat. "A leisurely train chase will do us some good, huh?"

"Okay, but I'll man the plasma cannon..." Zelda said as Link jumped into the driver's seat. As the engine turned over, Link smacked the dashboard in annoyance, and the sports car jerked forward down the landing and into the flaming warehouse ahead of them.

"What are you doing!" Zelda yelled.

"Sorry!" Link apologized. "It's not exactly as easy as it looks..." After a few tense moments of trying to wiggle the shift around, Link finally got it to start, and they were soon speeding out of the warehouse in a flurry of sheet metal, flaming debris and splintered glass, landing onto the ground several feet below them. The forsaken whine of an alarm rang throughout the grounds as a large titanium door began to slide in front of the exit. "Oh, you've **got** to be kidding me..."

"What is it?" Zelda asked, popping her head out of the window.

"We've got a major problem on our hands..." Link glanced in the direction of the giant slab of metal that was barring their way, inching ever closer with each passing second. "Can you take care of it?"

"I'll try..." Zelda hoisted up the large cannon, teasing the trigger, and peered through the scope. The large titanium door loomed ever closer, and Link was wondering if they were going to hit it when the door exploded in a shower of sparks, melted metal and plasma. He looked back at Zelda, who grinned.

"Nice shot."

"Thanks..." Zelda giggled. With the road cleared, they sped along smoothly until they came to a small bridge that ran above the river. But with the Merrimac Dam collapsing around them, the entire wall next to the bridge gave way, and the sheer strength and force of the pent-up water destroyed it with little effort on the military. "I don't think that was supposed to happen...Link?"

"Hold on!" Before Zelda could hear what Link said, she watched as he sped up and over the fallen roadway, the high-pressure spray of water drenching both her and the car, with only mere droplets tapping at Link's cheek. As they landed rather roughly on the other side of the ruined creek, Link grinned; they were home free.

...Wait.

...Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

As Link began to wonder what the hell was going on, his ears picked up a consistent purr that was associated with an engine. If there was an engine, engines meant cars. And where there were cars, there were...

"Zelda! GET DOWN!" he yelled at the princess of Hyrule, flooring the pedal and nearly throwing her out of the car with the sudden burst of speed. Zelda, puzzled, blinked over her shoulder. A bullet barely missed her temple and rocketed into the desert soil. Three soldiers inside a military Jeep, all wielding mortal machine guns, whooped and hollered as they chased the Hylians through the parched, cracked ground at the bottom of the canyon. Her exhausted eyes caught the fountains of earth exploding from the impact of the shots, and she managed to get inside the car, but not before crying out in agony as one grazed her shoulder. "ZELDA!"

"I'm okay...it's only a scratch..." Zelda said, trying to hide her shoulder from Link, as to not worry him. However, the fact that her blood stained her magenta blouse and seeped onto her skin was one she couldn't hide, and Link scowled.

"Anyone can see as bright as day that you're hurt, Zel." Link removed the large green hat plastered to his head, and tore it into long strips of cloth, which he wrapped gently but tightly around the flesh wound. "That'll have to do until we find someplace more...quiet."

"Thank you, Link..." Zelda whispered, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

"You can thank me when this is over." Link growled. Suddenly, gunshots rang out in the car as Link, never taking his eyes off the road, shot out the locks of the sunroof. As the felt-covered sheet of plastic fell harmlessly to the seat next to him, he grinned as the road was long and straight. Reaching into the back, he scooped the plasma cannon in his arms and slid noiselessly up to roof, where he could see the Jeep, cackling and roaring towards them. He grinned at the soldiers' surprise, which turned to pure fear as Link sent a mad barrage of plasma shots upon the Jeep. He roared with revenge, body racking with the wicked rattling of the gun. There was an almost simultaneous explosion as the Jeep was consumed in a white ball of fire, cremating the soldiers alive.

Zelda sighed in relief as the car slowed to reasonable speeds of around 15 mph as the minutes ticked slowly by. At last, Link let himself drop into the car. "They're gone for now. Here." He handed the plasma cannon down to Zelda, and stated matter-of-factly, "We'll have to stop meeting our military friends like this; we can't have people driving up and waving firearms around whenever they feel like it. It's becoming altogether too popular a sport to ignore."

"Yeah..." Zelda said. Suddenly, her shoulder shot in pain, as if to remind her of the wound she had sustained during Link's crazy driving stunt.

"Here you go." Link tossed her a bottle of red potion. Zelda began to wonder how many of those things Link had, and languidly glanced into the contents of his satchel. Her eyes widened at the sheer amount of red potions and medical supplies inside it, and Link sheepishly explained, "I kind of sorted through Dr. Mario's med supplies, and tossed most of the red potions and bandages inside before we left the Mansion."

"Are you sure that's enough?" Zelda asked sarcastically, though there was an extra twinkle playing upon her eyes.

"If it isn't, then to heck with this thing." Link grinned, holding up the satchel. As his eyes darted around to comprehend their surroundings, he noticed the railway bridge running adjacent to the road, with the bullet train several miles away. He scowled and replied, "We still have some friends to save, Zel. Get in." With both Hylians jumping into the car, the screech of rubber on asphalt echoed through the canyon as the car sped down the roadway, quickly closing ground.

* * *

"Sir?" Johnson had made his way to the dining car, at the conductor's request. While dragging Ness and Pichu with him, he noticed Jairus sitting at a table and staring out the window at the scenery that sped by them, munching on a turkey slice as if it were chewing gum and idly playing with a glass of wine as he did. "There's something the conductor wants you with..." 

"Already?" Jairus asked, swallowing the turkey. "What does he want now?"

"Uh...it concerns the two people whom we saw back at the dam, sir." Jairus' eyebrows rose in silent surprise, but he said nothing as he got up from the table and walked to the front car, Johnson and the two youngsters following close behind. It took several minutes to reach the conductor's car, and even then it took a fair amount of energy to bring Ness and Pichu under control.

"What is it?" Jairus asked, rather annoyed he had been interrupted during his meal. "What is so important that it needs my attention here and now?"

"Our friends from the dam are pursuing us." The conductor pointed to a small black-and-white monitor off to the side, where the sports car Link and Zelda commandeered could be seen following them through the canyon.

"Link!" Ness cheered on.

"Keep going, Link!" Pichu screamed. "You're so close!" Jairus furrowed his eyebrows and looked on in silent shock, and then sighed.

"Activate the defense turrets." Jairus gestured to a large red button on the dashboard, covered by a glass box. "That should stop them. If it doesn't, God forbid, we'll stop them ourselves."

"Why you—!" Pichu suddenly leapt at Jairus as if to shock him, but Johnson caught him in midair and held a pistol uncomfortably close to the Pokèmon's head.

"Don't try anything stupid, you. Move." Johnson dragged them over to another car, leaving Jairus and the conductor to their silent mission. Jairus just sighed and followed suit after him.

* * *

Link and Zelda had been speeding quite smoothly along the tunnel, chatting a bit about past memories about their exploits in Hyrule. Things around them were pretty quiet, until... 

"Holy shit...that better not be what I think it is!" Link's eyes widened as a mounted missile launcher sprouted up from the roof of one of the train cars. Their initial shock clouded to fierce determination as several rockets whizzed by their car and into the canyon walls. "I thought that was a normal bullet train!"

"It looks like there was more to it than meets the eye!" Zelda replied as a missile detonated into the canyon wall behind them, just feet from their current position. "What the heck do we do now?"

"We're not going to die because...um...we'll dodge them at all costs!" Link suddenly swerved into a small cave to avoid the missiles...and came out the other side and into the view of a guard tower of some sort. Suddenly, two guards on motorcycles raced out into the open, letting loose a hail of bullets from the submachine guns and into the car, shattering most of the windows and nearly bursting Link's cranium apart. "Holy—!"

"Aieeee! They're shooting at us! Again!" Zelda screamed.

"Not on my watch, they're not." A smirk playing upon his face, Link swerved into both of their would-be assassins riding on the motorcycles. They flew into the canyon wall, flying off their beasts as the motorcycles themselves exploded and caught fire upon contact with the wall. Link smirked as they drove past the fiery wreck of motorcycles littered across the ground. "That'll teach them...I hope."

"I don't think so..." Link followed Zelda's finger to the cliff ahead of them, where a menacing Black Hawk chopper had flown up in front of them, firing missiles into the canyon walls. He had to swerve out of the way before several boulders crashed into the ground where the car had been moments before.

"Jesus Christ! These guys are everywhere! Zelda, take the wheel..." Before Zelda could object, Link had grabbed the plasma cannon from the back and stuck the barrel out the window. Bullets from the copter ricocheted off the canyon floor as Link sent several plasma shots into the copter, hitting with deadly accuracy. Zelda had mere seconds to swerve off the cliffside and towards the ground as the chopper exploded above them, sending charred metal and broken glass shaped like daggers into the ground next to them. As of the car, it bounced off the ground a bit before landing with a metallic THUD, sending Link crashing into the dashboard. "Eh...sorry, Zel. Didn't expect that to happen..."

"..." Zelda just sighed as she scooted back into the passenger seat, flattening the folds in her dress as they sped down the canyon once more.

* * *

"Goddamn, they destroyed our chopper!" Alabama Johnson spluttered in disbelief as he and the general watched the car from a TV surveillance screen in the train's steering cabin. "Who the hell are these people?" 

"GO LINK AND ZELDA!" Pichu squealed from where he was tied to the chair, along with Ness.

"SHUT UP!" Johnson grabbed his pistol and whirled around, pointing it menacingly in-between Pichu's eyes. The Pokèmon squeaked and shut its mouth.

"Johnson!" Jairus scowled. "Don't...do that." Johnson had groaned in response as his trigger-finger twitched, still pointing the gun at Pichu. "Johnson...Johnso-BAMA!" He yelled his nickname loud enough to be heard a few cars down, where some soldiers were having dinner.

"I never get to shoot anybody!" Johnson protested, waving the gun wildly. "Never! You never let me do what I want!"

"Oh, shut up, stupid-ass." Jairus growled as he nodded at the train conductor. "Speed it up, will you? We have to lose the tail."

"Right." The train conductor pushed the lever forward, sending the needle past 200 mph. Then Jairus reached over and pounded the fire button on the train's control panel, sending several missiles towards Link and Zelda.

"Hahaha...farewell. You two were a most excellent number."

* * *

"I wonder what this was used for." Zelda stared, glancing out the window of the car. Blazing right by them were several pillars, a large stone wall crumbling within the grasp of the Cobalt Canyon, and some rusted machinery that included a turbine of some sort, a construction crane, and a rusty wreck of a bulldozer, almost completely swallowed up by the harsh sand. Beyond that was a large concrete wall, riddled with cracks, several concrete pillars, and a slab of rock that had fallen over into the sand, forming a ramp of sorts. 

"Looks like the construction equipment used to build the dam." Link noted as the smell of rust and stale concrete choked the air. "They probably abandoned it here because of the difficulty removing it from the canyon floor."

"That explains it..." Zelda sighed. Suddenly, an explosion shattered the silence of the tranquil drive. Craning their heads forward, Link and Zelda were just in time to see a rocket blast tear apart the base of a large concrete pillar near the 'ramp'. With its structural integrity compromised, the pillar and a part of the wall standing with it collapsed in a shower of dust, brittle concrete and rusted rebar, blocking the road completely. "Ack! We're trapped!"

"What!" Link panicked. "Where did _that_ come from!"

"Who cares? Get out of the way before we crash!"

"Heh. You think I _want_ to crash?" Link asked cockily. Before Zelda could retort, he had swerved sharply to the left, the sound of rubber grinding on gravel echoing through the air. It soon flew off the makeshift ramp on the left, sending the car flying past a crumbling pillar and into the ground. It took all of Link's considerable force to bring the car more or less under control, nearly slamming into the side of a nearby wall in the process. Sounds of screeching could be heard as the car tore up the ground in a squeal of acceleration. "So much for a smooth landing..."

"You can say that again..." Zelda replied, shaking herself off to regain her bearings. The car bounced along the dusty road and out of the ruined construction site, onto the canyon's once abundant, overflowing riverbed. After glancing around, she noticed something truly incredible. "Link! We did it!"

"What?" Link wondered aloud. He was about to sigh in frustration when he casually glanced in Zelda's direction. He blinked several times, and cleared his eyes with his hand — he wasn't hallucinating. Despite the military's best efforts, the bullet train their friends were captured and imprisoned in was in front of them, only separated by several thousand feet of empty ground before them. Link's crazy driving stunts had actually shortened the distance between the car and the train, until you could almost reach out and touch it. "Hey...you're right! We did it!"

No sooner had he said that, a military Jeep teeming with the shouts and curses of the rambunctious soldiers had sped out of a hidden alcove in the walls and sped up towards their location, the distance growing shorter with each passing minute. "Oh, for chrissakes..."

"Great. I probably jinxed it..." Zelda sighed. "Well, better do what I do, then." Link didn't even need to ask what she was about to do; she had grabbed the plasma cannon and fired off several shots in their direction as her body shook with the gun's obnoxious rattle. Repeating the performance from before, the entire Jeep exploded and killed the soldiers, sending a fireball into the air and crash-landing into the scorched earth with a metallic THUD. With that, Link floored the pedal as the car sped up towards the train, dust and gravel flying into the air behind them.

* * *

"Wouldn't it be easier for you to let us go instead of keeping us here?" Ness asked the general, where he and Pichu were now handcuffed to a helicopter platform they had rigged to the train. Leaning onto the chained copter, Jairus Cavanaugh just stared at them in unconcealed distaste. 

"Riiiiiiiiight..."

"You're lucky little bastards, you got that?" Alabama Johnson blurted out contemptuously, shaking a fist at the two Smashers. "Working with the aliens to conquer Nintendo? We could've executed you for crimes against the Smash Island right when we captured you, but did we? Noooooooooooo...we took mercy! Now I think we should've killed you on the spot!" He would've pulled out his revolver and shot them both, but Jairus placed a hand on his shoulder to calm the trigger-happy soldier down.

"Popping them right now will not solve anything." Jairus coolly replied. "We'll pump them for information first. Then, once we get the plans for the alien invasion, you can see to it that they are executed."

"But why not you?" Johnson blurted out suddenly. "If you're not going to shoot them, why keep them?"

"They have...much-needed insight regarding the alien's plans, Johnson." Jairus spit out his cigarette and ground it into the metal floor of the helipad. "Besides, if you get to shoot them, we'll solve two problems at once: getting the information and your calming down for a while."

"Why, you little-!" Pichu jumped up in a furious rage and tried to hit the general with his tail, but because he was cuffed to the railing, he ended up getting caught in mid-air and landed on his back against the metal grating. Ouch...As Pichu rubbed his back, trying to ease the pain; Johnson laughed mockingly at the two youngsters and began to taunt them.

"Feels good, doesn't it? To get your hands dirty?"

"Fuck you." Ness growled in retaliation. Jairus just sighed; this would be one of those **long** nights.

* * *

The winds whipped their faces and the dust slapped onto their cheeks as Link and Zelda continued their relentless chase of the bullet train, closing ground each minute. However, before they could even so much as blink, the train began to pick up speed, whizzing through the canyon and regaining lost distance to escape the Hylians' car. 

"Link! They're getting away!"

"Not if I have anything to say about it, Zel!" Link kept his eyes fixed onto the cracked riverbed that stretched beyond until his clear blue eyes made out a slab of rock pointed upward towards the tracks. Flooring the pedal, he drove the car off the rock and bounced onto the tracks, the car bucking and jumping all over the rails, trying to steady itself. The intense heat formed by the tires grinding against cold, hard metal had melted the vulcanized rubber, leaving the hubcaps grinding against the rails. As sparks flew under the car and the high-pitched squeal of metal on metal stung the Hylians' ears, Link pressed the pedal and sent the needle flying past 200 mph, sending it so fast down the track until 50 feet separated them and the train. "Zel! Take the wheel for me!"

"Wha-what do you need me to do?" Zelda squeaked.

"Keep the car steady." Link had grabbed the plasma cannon from the backseat and opened fire on the back windows, cracking the glass before shattering it outright. Ducking into the car to avoid the glass daggers, Link lifted the barrel of the plasma cannon and opened fire on the back end of the train itself and ducked back into the car. Upon impact, the plasma exploded against the soft metal and destroyed the back end of the train, leaving a huge metal network of gears and wires hanging out. Then, to Zelda's surprise, he shot out the four metal rods holding the top of the car, sending the metal canopy flying onto the track.

"What are you planning to do?" Zelda asked curiously, over the high-pitched squeal of grinding metal.

"This." Link retook the controls and floored the pedal as hard as he smashed the front end of the car into the back of the train, sending a small tremor throughout it. Jairus Cavanaugh, Alabama Johnson, Ness and Pichu could feel that. The two youngsters were smiling at the thought of being rescued, while the soldiers' expressions were more vague; more ominous.

"Can I go after them now?" Johnson asked Jairus hotly, waving his SPAS 12 into the air.

"You have permission. Take your best shot and take these two with you as bargaining chips, if need be." Jairus calmly replied, shoving Ness and Pichu into the trigger-happy soldier before stepping into the car ahead of them. "Also warn the soldiers in the cars behind us, Johnson. You might need all the help you'll get. Meanwhile I'll call for reinforcements from the Army training facility in the Grand Metropolis."

"Aww...that's no fun..." Johnson balefully muttered. But he shrugged it off and dragged Ness and Pichu with him, despite their screaming, and cocked the SPAS 12 he was lugging before he licked his lips. This was going to be sweet...

Meanwhile, Link had hopped onto the hood of the car and grabbed the window into the train, pulling himself up into the train car before turning around and yelling to Zelda, "Hurry up and get in!"

"But, Link...! I...I don't know if I can do this..." Zelda whimpered.

"Trust me!" Link yelled. "I'll catch you!"

"O...OKAY! I hope..." With Link's support, she hesitantly started to stand and worm over onto the hood of the car before tripping and nearly falling off the car. Link nearly shouted an 'Oh, shit!' into the canyon, but Zelda carefully crawled over to Link and grabbed his hand. With one final puff of exhaled strength, Link used all his strength to pull the Hylian princess into the train car, both of them falling onto the floor in exhaustion.

"Thank...you, Link..."

"Hey, you're welcome. Are you okay?"

"I think so..." And just in the nick of time, too. The car suddenly detached from the train and skidded before hitting a jump in the rail, hurling it into the air and smashing into the canyon wall before it rolled down the train tracks, breaking off pieces, and dying in a fiery explosion. Link had to shield his eyes from the blast as a lazy plume of smoke floated up into the sky.

"I don't think that car can be used anytime soon." Link chuckled wryly.

"You think?" Zelda giggled. After a few more minutes, she turned around to the hallway leading down the train. As the room quivered sliding down the tracks, she sighed. "Well, it's time..."

"Yes...we're coming, Ness and Pichu. Hold on..." Link whispered as they ran down the hall and treaded quietly into the first car...

* * *

"_I went to heaven, but couldn't get in,_

_For what I have done._

_I said, 'Please take me!' They said, 'You're crazy!_

_You had too much fun.'_

_You can't save me,_

_You can't change me,_

_Well I'm waiting for my wake up call,_

_And everything's my fault..._" –Save Me, Unwritten Law

* * *

Zelda: Well, that was fun...

Pichu: I FOUND THE AUTHOR!

Link: What? Where?

(inside bed) Ooh...I feel so sick...

NN1: Poor guy.

Eliwood: Oh well.

(cough wheeze hack) Read and review, please...oh, my aching head...  
Gamer21


	4. An Old Friend

Woo-hoo! I feel so much better...thank you all!

Link: The people who aided him through this trying time will receive a gift in their e-mail. Check it out.

Anyway...Nintendo Nut, what are you doing with that chainsaw?

NN1: I'm not doing anything odd or suspicious!

Eliwood: You **do **realize that by saying that you are doing something odd and suspicious?

NN1: I am?

Zelda: Too late to feign injured innocence now...

Pichu: Um, yeah, whatever. Here are the review responses for you all.

**Responses:**

**_Nintendo Nut1_**: ...augh! Now **I'm **confuzzled! IT HURTS! (bangs head on wall)

Everyone else: O.O

**_Kirbstar_**: Oh, yes. You hit that one on the head. This may be crazy now, but their troubles are just beginning...

Pichu: (gulp)

**_RoyalFanatic_**: Yesh, yesh, it'll be funny. Keep reading on, my friend!

P.S. Because all my attention is devoted to this story for the moment, it may be a long time before I update _New Smasher on the Block_. Yeah.

**_Lightpaladin_**: Don't worry, I will. Good luck against Branford!

Okay, then. START THE STORY! ...hey, Nintendo Nut! Don't chop up the curtain!

Eliwood: You people see what I have to put up with every day?

_Oy, vey...

* * *

_

"_I've waited for this like it's a violent game._

_I'm in between Grand Theft Auto and Max Payne._

_I'm the magic in the hands of David Blaine._

_I spit so much blood I'll leave this microphone stained._

_Along came a spider spinning webs of hatred._

_Welcome to the wonderful world of entertainment,_

_Where stars are born and celebrities tell lies._

_The revolution will now be televised._"

* * *

_**Chapter 4: An Old Friend**_

**The Military Bullet Train, Cobalt Canyon  
75 miles away from the Grand Metropolis**

The bullet train rolled through the Cobalt Canyon on its way to the Grand Metropolis. It was never functional at night, but even when it was day, night or whatever, Sergeant Le Rouge of the bullet train Defense Force couldn't tell and couldn't care less. He paced up and down the train car and looked over the guards' shoulders at the computer screens they were manning, bored out of his skull and wishing for anything to break through the monotonous night.

There were footsteps beside him, but Le Rouge didn't bother to look away from the computer screen, knowing it was only Captain Dartmouth. "Give me a damage report."

"No damage so far, sir; I'm still checking." Dartmouth answered blandly.

"According to this, though, there's been a breach on the back of the train. We may have an intruder." Le Rouge said matter-of-factly. He turned to Dartmouth and shouted, "What are you waiting for? Start looking!"

"Yes sir." As Dartmouth strolled towards the back of the train, though, a pair of hands grabbed him and dragged him to the back of the train...

"What the hell is taking him?" Le Rouge grumbled several minutes later. "It doesn't take forever to inspect the goddamned train!" Grumbling to himself, he mulled over to the back of the train, flaunting a M16. When he reached the back end of the train, he saw Dartmouth; eyes agape, mouth open, a bullet hole in his forehead. "What the hell?"

Before he knew it, a pair of gloved hands had grabbed him by the neck tightly. There was a snap, and Le Rouge fell over onto the ground, instantly dead. Having done what was needed, two shadows darted through the train car to the door on the other side, but not before grabbing the M16 from the dead soldier.

"Don't we already have a gun?" Zelda asked Link as he readied the M16 for use.

"I know; we could use the extra firepower, though."

"Oh..."

* * *

"Dammit, where are they?" Johnson growled as he chained Ness and Pichu to the wall. "What the hell are they doing?"

"Patience is a virtue." Jairus retorted. "We, as the military, should hold the highest of virtues first. Even **you** should know that right about now."

"Oh, shut up."

"LET US GO NOW! OR...ELSE!" Pichu threatened.

"Or else what?" Johnson sneered. "You're going to smack us? You're in cuffs! Get used to it!" Jairus sighed as Johnson's and Pichu's argument deteriorated into a shouting match that could be heard from space. Needless to say, Jairus was in a bad mood and probably wouldn't get out of it anytime soon.

"_Oy, vey..._Johnson! Stop arguing and keep an eye out for the intruders!"

"Eh...sorry, sir." Johnson sheepishly apologized, scowling at Pichu because he was reprimanded. "Won't happen again, sir."

"I sure as hell hope not." Jairus said, leaving the train car and making his way to one of two helicopters. He pulled out a pair of garden shears and began breaking the chains...

* * *

"Man, this is boring." Staff Sergeant Normad muttered balefully as he watched the door. "Whoever the intruder was could be gone now."

"Yep..." Command Major Sergeant Benson said. "I feel sleepy...I think I'll take a little nap..."

"Yep..." Before anyone knew it, they were asleep.

Suddenly, two shadows darted out of their hiding place and carefully sneaked past the sleeping soldiers. Quick hands snatched the guns from their backs and their sidearms, and quickly tied up the soldiers, being incredibly careful to not wake the slumbering guards. Satisfied with the work, the two shadows darted past and into the next train car.

"Nice work." Link complimented Zelda. "Didn't know you could restrain people like that."

"You learn some things when you're on the run from a certain evil Gerudo King."

"Heh, I hear that." Link and Zelda sneaked into the next car, which housed the missile launcher that fired on them during their jaunt through the canyon. Being quiet, Link carefully slinked over to the first guard manning the computer, snapping his neck. Then he pressed himself against the wall, and motioned for Zelda to do the same.

"What's up?" Zelda whispered.

"Stay here." Link slowly inched out of his hiding spot, around the large missile launcher. Zelda wondered what he was doing until she noticed the soldier stepping towards her. Her first instinct would have been to run, but she saw he had something metallic in his hand—a small automatic pistol. As he continued to walk towards the frightened princess, she fought back a scream, but he continued to walk towards her...

"Eep! Oh, no...Link, where are you?"

"...? What was that?"

SNAP...

When Zelda looked out several minutes later, Link had snapped the soldiers' neck, and was picking up the fallen pistol next to him. "Link! Thank god..."

"Good thing I took him out, huh?"

"Yeah," Zelda replied, cuddling Link. "We'd better go. Ness and Pichu-."

"I haven't forgotten." Link whispered as he entered the next train car. "Let's move."

* * *

"What exactly are you planning to do with that CAUTION tape, Johnson?"

"How else am I supposed to restrain these two, huh?" Johnson argued with Cavanaugh as he tied Ness and Pichu's wrists together and dropped them unceremoniously to the floor.

"You _could_ grab a rope from somewhere; maybe the kitchen?" Jairus snapped. "Honestly, I thought you of all people would have more sense than that..."

"Oh, shut up."

"Do you think we'll let you get away with this?" Pichu snapped.

"Heh. I should be asking you that." Johnson sneered menacingly. "You helped aliens in invading Planet Nintendo, the warm pulsebeat of the free world. You are letting your Smasher friends run loose in the Island, and now you think that we are fools? Bah! Inconceivable."

"Oh yeah? They'll stop you, Johnson." Ness growled. "I know they will."

"They're two people, kid. What can two people do?"

"Quit fucking around, Johnson! HIDE!" Jairus snapped, hearing several footsteps from the door across them. Grumbling, he quickly ran out the train car and towards the front.

"Geez, don't bite my head off..." Johnson grumbled, pulling duct tape out of the folds of his sleeve and taping Ness and Pichu's mouths shut. Working quickly, he pulled out a long cord and tied it to the knot holding Ness and Pichu's binds together, then unwound it enough to reach the kitchen. He fed it through a hole in a cabinet above the door, then hopped inside it and closed it up...

* * *

Meanwhile, Link and Zelda had stopped short of the door, formulating a plan to rescue the two friends from the military.

"So, how do we do this?" Link asked the Hylian princess.

"There are only two people. I could distract them while you undo their binds..."

"Okay...for a lack of a better idea, we'll go with that." Link and Zelda passed through the door into the dining car, weapons drawn, and Ness and Pichu were on the floor of the car, bound and gagged.

"Whoa." Zelda replied. "There's right there. Let's free them."

"Yeah." Link started over, but suddenly they were moving towards a door off to the side. "Hey! Where are you going?"

"MMPH!" Ness valiantly tried to yell while shaking his head no, but couldn't.

Curious, Link followed them into the room beyond the door, which turned out to be the kitchen. Rows upon rows of wine bottles were stacked neatly against the left-most wall, while various utensils were stacked on metal shelves to the right. Ahead of the door was a large refrigerator. Upon entry, Link reached down and undid Ness and Pichu's gags. "You okay?"

"Link! It's a trap!" Ness blurted out.

"What!" Suddenly, the door was sealed shut behind him, and Alabama Johnson bashed out the cabinet door with his fist, stabbing Link in the forearm and pinning him to the wall. "AAH! What's this!"

"This is revenge, you bastard!" Johnson yelled indignantly, punching Link in the face.

"Oh, yeah!" Link coughed up some blood, but managed a nice front kick to Johnson's stomach. He slammed into the fridge door, the handle digging into Johnson's back.

"Grr! You little!" Johnson punched Link again in anger, but was quickly countered when he attempted to kick. Link had used his free hand to punch his ankle, and Link kicked Johnson into the fridge again. "Damn you, you little..."

"I won't go down that easily!" Link yelled. He had mustered enough strength to pull the knife out of his forearm and swiped at Johnson with it. Unfortunately, Johnson ducked and tackled Link into the wall.

"GO LINK!" Pichu cheered.

"Take him down!" Ness added.

"SHUT UP!" Johnson yelled angrily. Furious, he threw Link into the metal shelves of utensils. Link tried to use them as cover, but Johnson got to him first as he planted a kick into Link's chest, forcing him into the counter. Johnson grabbed two chef knives nearby, one in each hand, and furiously swiped at Link again, but this time with no effect as Link ducked out of the way. "Goddamn it..."

"You couldn't hit a target if it were in your face!" Link retorted as he whirled around the fumbling Johnson and grabbed a frying pan from the top shelf, using all his might to slam it into the back of Johnson's head. Johnson wasn't knocked unconscious, but the shock had forced him to drop the knives. Sneering, Link had slammed Johnson into the counter, into glass bottles of wine and cooking oil. Glass shot up and cut both of their faces, and Link had shoved Johnson again into the other utensils and even into the stove.

"That tears it!" Johnson growled through gritted teeth, not even noticing the blood that trickled down his forehead and over his cheek. He aimed a furious kick into Link's groin, and slammed Link's arm into the stove; the same one Johnson had stabbed earlier; causing Link to cry out in pain.

"LINK!" Zelda yelled, banging on the door in panic.

"Oh, shit..." Ness and Zelda seemed to be thinking the same thing.

"Why, you..." Suddenly, Link kicked Johnson hard in the groin, knocking a silver lighter off his belt, and punched Johnson in the face, forcing him into the stove.

"No more games..." Johnson growled. Darting his eyes around, they rested on a weapon: a cleaver. He grabbed it and tried to slice Link with it, but missed with every swing. He did manage to slice open a gas line, though.

"Geez, you can't hit worth crap..." Link sneered, slamming Johnson into the wall fridge, kneeing his groin, and punching him in the face.

"Oh, nice one!" Pichu cheered.

"It ain't over yet!" Johnson growled, elbowing Link so hard that he was forced to reel back. Seizing the opportunity, Johnson kicked Link into the stove, grabbed the severed gas line, and tried to strangle him with it. Struggling valiantly, Link almost gave up hope. But when he noticed how close Johnson's arm was to his mouth, he used his strength to reach over and bit Johnson so hard it sent him reeling. "AAAH! What the fuck!"

"Didn't like that?" Link sneered, coughing a bit. Even while recovering, he managed to score a direct hit on Johnson's nose, breaking it and making it bleed profusely.

"Why you little!"

"Shut up!" Link growled. He kicked Johnson in the stomach again, forcing him to the wall. Then Link assaulted Johnson with several punches and a kick to the leg, as well. But nothing could prepare Link for what happened next:

"That's it! DIE, DAMMIT!" Suddenly, Johnson kicked Link into the metal shelves, and he collapsed from the pain. Then, as if to eradicate him permanently, Johnson shoved the metal shelves to the floor, making sure Link was between them, and repeatedly kicked it, forcing Link to cry out in pain each time. "How do you like that, huh? You punk!"

"AAH! Stop!" Zelda yelled. "Link! Get up!"

"HAHAHA! No one can stop me now!"

"Man, hillbilly, you need to lighten up." Link snickered. Johnson turned to the elf, and he was holding Johnson's lighter in his hands. Flicking it on, a steady flame burst forth from the metal as he threw it into the gas hissing in front of the sergeant. Suddenly, a huge plume of flame erupted in the kitchen, and Johnson was thrown backwards into the wine rack before he slumped over, dazed. It added some comedy to the situation when several bottles fell out of the rack and cracked Johnson's noggin, effectively knocking him out. Crawling out from under the shelves and pushing himself upright, he asked, "Did everyone make it out alive?"

"I think so..." Pichu replied. He looked and smelled somewhat singed, but otherwise he was perfectly fine.

"It'd be nice if someone untied us right about now?" Ness snapped bitterly.

"Heh. Same old Ness." Link replied, waving the gag around in his hand. "Maybe I should put this back on, huh? I don't even get a 'How have you been, Link' or nothing."

"Well, sorry!" Ness growled. As Link undid the bindings, Zelda had rushed into the room, seeing as the doors were now unlocked, and embraced him.

"You're okay!"

"Could've been better..." Link replied, gazing disappointedly at his clothes. Much of them were either torn apart or bloodied from the scuffle with Johnson. He also stared dismally at his arm, and then to Ness and Pichu; they looked and smelled somewhat singed. "Eh, sorry about that, guys."

"It's okay." Pichu smiled. "This happens to me a lot."

"So you were behind the explosions in the kitchen?" Ness asked.

"Hey, it's not my fault! It's like every time I cook something, it blows up in my face!"

"All right, calm down." Link said. "So, Zelda, we should-Zelda?" Link swiveled his head from side to side, looking for the Hylian princess, but had no luck. Looking questioningly at Ness and Pichu, they shrugged in response, and Link continued to search. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary; the severed gas line, the fallen metal shelves, the empty spot under the wine rack-wait, the empty spot under the wine rack? Link turned to gaze upon the wall as if expecting to see Johnson there, but there was nothing except several puddles of wine around the broken bottles. "What the hell?"

"Hahaha!" Johnson's voice blared over the intercom. "You are really stupid, Link! Why should I have those two hostages when I hold a more important card in my hand?"

"Link!" Zelda shrieked. "Help me!"

"Johnson! Why don't you die already?" Link yelled in response. Hearing nothing but static from the intercom, he cursed silently to himself. "Goddammit..."

"Now what?" Ness asked.

"...come on. We gotta go after him." Link said, grabbing a nearby ace bandage and leading the two out of the kitchen and into the next car. However... "Whoa. What's a Black Hawk chopper doing on a bullet train?"

Ness shrugged as he hopped into the cockpit of said chopper. "Dunno, but I could fly it."

Link decided to poke his head inside. There was a rope lying in the corner, and he also noticed a map on the chopper's wall and several missiles hooked to the wings. He smiled as a plan formed in his head. "Oh, I got an idea. It's..."

* * *

"All right, Johnson! I'm coming out to where you are!" Link yelled as he stepped into the next train car; an ace bandage wrapped around his arm. He was pointing his gun ahead of him as if expecting some nasty surprise.

Suddenly, he flattened himself against the wall and watched several bullets whiz by him, planting themselves into the door and the nearby doorframe. "Drop and slide, whoever you are!" Johnson's voice yelled from the other end. His hair was messed up, his clothes covered in wine and dry blood, and his face cut and drizzled in blood. In one arm he carried a 9 millimeter; in the other arm he held the Hylian princess as a hostage.

"I don't think so!" Link yelled, quickly darting to the other wall as more bullets whizzed by his fleeing figure. Opening up a nearby junction box, he pressed all the buttons inside it, deactivating the lights in the next car. Then he pulled out a smoke grenade, pulled the pin and hurled it into the space ahead of him. Meanwhile, in the air...

"All right, here we go!" Ness yelled. He and Link had broken the chains holding the chopper to the train, and while Link ran into the next car, gun drawn, he and Pichu had turned the ignition and roared into the air.

"Do I have to do this?" Pichu yelled over the chopper. Ness had tied both ends of the rope around the Pokèmon's waist and to the metal guardrail into the chopper.

"You have to trust Link on this one!"

"All right..." Pichu nervously gulped, closed his eyes, and jumped out of the cockpit, letting himself fall and fall until he bounced around. Opening his eyes, he was dangling from the chopper next to the bullet train, but the next minute smashed into the window.

"Can't hold it steady..." Ness muttered to himself.

"Down!" Johnson pushed Zelda into the ground and fired two shots at Pichu, cracking the window next to him. Link took this chance and ran forward into the next set of alcoves, pressing himself against the wall. Johnson yelled, "You think you can stop me?"

"Why else would I be here?" Link retorted. Spying a red handle on the wall, he smashed the glass cover and pulled the lever, opening up the door next to him to reveal the canyon walls next to him. Ness had noticed this and flew a little closer, making a dangling Pichu appear in the door next to him. "You let Zelda go, Johnson! She has nothing to do with this!"

"Oh, she has everything to do with this." Johnson retorted loudly. "You made it her business when you tried to go up against the military! You can't stop the unstoppable!"

"But you can die trying!" Before Johnson knew it, Zelda had pushed him into the ground, smashing his face and knocking the gun out of his hands.

"Why you little bitch!" Johnson yelled, kicking Zelda in the stomach. As she fell over, doubled in pain, he was about to strike again when Link tackled him to the floor, punching his nose again. "AAH!"

"Link!" Zelda yelped, clutching her side in pain.

"Get out of here, Zelda!" Link yelled. Johnson squeezed his arm, causing the Hero of Time to cry out. As much as she hated to leave him, leave him she must as Zelda wended her way over to the back, where Pichu was hanging outside.

"P-Pichu! What are you doing!"

"Zelda!" Pichu yelled. "You're going to have to jump!"

While Zelda was preparing for a precarious leap of faith, Link and Johnson continued to exchange blows, to the arm or leg or side or face. As Link punched him in the face, Johnson continued to struggle to get out of his grasp as Zelda grabbed the rope and hoisted herself on before she and Pichu began to climb up into the cockpit. Johnson noticed this, as he wasn't very thrilled.

"No more games, you filthy piece of shit!" Suddenly, Johnson hit Link's side hard, giving him enough of a narrow window to free himself from the Hylian's grasp. Next, showing bitter contempt, he punched Link twice in the back and kicked him hard in the jaw, sending Link reeling. Then, in an angry burst of speed, he grabbed the gun from the floor, ran over to the door and fired at the two. It didn't hit the rope, thankfully, but a bullet lodged itself in Pichu's shoulder blade, causing the butterscotch-furred Pokèmon to cry out.

"Why you little..." As Ness flew upward to escape, Link ran and smashed Johnson into the wall, trying to grab the gun out of Johnson's hand. They began to trade blows again, Johnson smashing Link's side and Link scoring a hit on the sergeant's jawbone. Eventually, Link tried again to grab the gun out of Johnson's hands, but Johnson smashed his hand again, sending him reeling. Then Link's eyes widened as Johnson pointed the gun at his forehead.

"Haha! It's come to this: you, me and a gun!" Johnson growled angrily as he cocked the barrel with his thumb. "Any last words?"

The train sped out into the industrial, futuristic city of the Grand Metropolis, passing through a tall railway bridge built over the Toutle River, calm and serene. Suddenly, an insane plan brewed in the elf's mind, but he chose to take it as the only choice he had.

"It's not my time to die, Johnson." With that, Link took a suicidal leap out of the train and toward the river below. Johnson fired at the elf, but found his efforts futile as Ness, he, Pichu and Zelda safely in the cockpit, pressed a red button and sent a missile flying toward the train.

"Your turn to do the dying, sergeant." Ness replied as Johnson watched the missile smash into the cars ahead of him. Everything was enveloped in a fiery cloud of smoke as the bullet train exploded, taking a sizeable chunk of the bridge with it. As flames licked at Link's back, he pulled out a bomb from his satchel and hurled it into the river below, sending a fountain-like blast of water into the air. Link braced for impact and plunged into the river. Thinking fast, he swam away from the bridge and towards a small sandbar in the river as stone, charred metal and embers splashed into the river behind him.

"Phew..." Link sighed, gasping heavily. He watched in relief as the chopper flew down to the sandbar. Climbing in, he remarked, "That went well, didn't it?"

"You can say that again..." Pichu grumbled, wincing as he tried to stretch. "My back hurts..."

"And my side..." Zelda added.

"Okay, okay, hold on..." After removing the bullet from Pichu's shoulder blade, Link handed both Pichu and Zelda a red potion before using one himself. "Hopefully, that's the last of it..."

"_Bravo._" A voice boomed over a walkman in the control panel. Link, Ness, Pichu and Zelda turned to see another chopper in the air, hovering close to the collapsed bridge. "_You have done well to stop my trigger-happy subordinate, but I can assure you the rest of us aren't as easy to defeat._"

"Who the hell are you?" Link retorted into the walkman.

"_I am Jairus Cavanaugh, one of the five elites of the Smash Island Military._" The voice answered. "_Heh...you think we will let you and your otherworldly friends try and take what's ours? Think again, pal._"

"Look, my name is Link Alben Gaiden, not 'pal', Jairus." Link growled. "And we will be nice; if you threaten our fellow Smashers, though, we will defend them."

"_Heh...we'll see._" As soon as Jairus finished speaking, the chopper ahead of them suddenly turned around and flew into the city, but not before firing a missile at the Smashers.

"WHOA!" Ness barely had enough time to evade the missile as it detonated in front of a nearby skyscraper. "That was close..."

"Go after them!" Link commanded. "That man is our only clue to the others' whereabouts."

"Got it." And the chopper chased Jairus into the city, not knowing what to expect from a military elite...

* * *

"_Move out the way when I'm passing through!_

_I got heads to the front and the back of you!_

_I got the world in my hands; you can have it too;_

_I got two middle fingers and they're pointing at you!_" –Messiah, Dead Celebrity Status (Alabama Johnson's theme)

* * *

Well, there's chapter 4 for you all.

Link: R&R!

Pichu: And keep Eliwood away from the sugar at all costs!

NN1: Oops... (girlish giggle) ...I didn't do it? (Feigns innocence, a.k.a. snuggles Link)

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Gamer21


	5. Night Storm

Eliwood: (sugar-high) HEY I KNOW A GAME! I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO!

Pichu: What?

Eliwood: (sing-song) We pick up the Pichu and bonk him on the head! (picks up Pichu and bonks him on head)

Pichu: OOW! (shocks Eliwood)

Eliwood: (dazed)

NN1: (ditzy) Oh, that looks fun!

Pichu: SAVE ME!

You see what happens when you leave someone next to the sugar?

Zelda: Poor Pichu...oh, well. There's nothing we can do.

YES THERE IS! HEY, NINTENDO NUT! LINK SAYS HE WANTS TO SCREW YOU!

Link: WHAT! I NEVER SAID-

NN1: Oh, Link, you naughty boy, you. (winks, grabs him and drags him off to bedroom)

Link: AAH! GAMER21!

Zelda: NO! LINK! I'LL SAVE YOU! (grabs a **huge** spear and runs after them) CHARGE!

Heh heh heh...poor guy. Here are the review responses for you people:

**Responses:**

**_RoyalFanatic_**: Let's see...Bowser and Pikachu are guaranteed a part. Dunno about the others.

**_Kirbstar_**: Whoa. A whole hour? Wow... oh, well. Thanks for reading.

**_Lightpaladin_**: Aww, I'm sorry to hear that. Better luck next game!

**_Nintendo Nut1_**: Yep, you caused it. See what happens when you leave the author alone with the sugar?

**_Anters_**: Glad you like it! This chapter should be enjoyable, then!

Pichu: Why did I get stuck with him? (points to Eliwood)

Eliwood: 8D

(singing Michael Jackson) Cause it's the thriller! Thriller night; and no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike...

Pichu: NOOO! (so scared he wets self)

Eliwood: O.O

(sing-song) Start the chappie!

* * *

"_I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure,_

_even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders._

_I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it;_

_Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter._

_I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to;_

_I'm supposed to set an example._

_I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em;_

_If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em._

_That Ja shit I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it._

_There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it._

_I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it._

_It was crazy, this shit be way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit._

_And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it;_

_I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted._

_And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it;_

_This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it!_

_That was never my object for someone to get killed;_

_Why would I wanna destroy something I help build?_"

* * *

_**Chapter 5: Night Storm**_

**Grand Metropolis  
The Industrial District**

"...they don't know who they're going up against." Jairus growled, steering the chopper through the streets of the industrial city. Normally, they would be full of happy Trick-or-Treaters and their signature hovercars, but tonight was different. Many of the cars were overturned, fires were set among the smaller of the buildings and rioters swarmed the streets, hurling whatever they could find at the cops. Jairus grunted, and spoke into the microphone in the panel. "Garrison, this is Cavanaugh, over. We may have hit a snag in our plans."

"_This is Garrison._" Andrew's voice answered through the speaker. "_What's the problem?_"

"The Merrimac Dam and the bullet train have been hit, sir. Over 50 of our men are confirmed dead."

"_Fifty of our men? On our own soil?_" Andrew remarked in shock. "_How the hell did this happen?_"

"It looks like the aliens have some contacts living on the Island." Jairus coolly responded. "An inside job...I'll take care of it: quick, clean and contained."

"_...Goddammit, fifty men?_" Andrew was still reeling in shock. "_How many more have to die...ahem. Has this insider been identified?_"

"Yes. Look in the Smash Island database for a person named Link Alben Gaiden."

"_...all right. I hereby give you permission to eliminate this bug by any means necessary. Take him down._"

"Right, sir." Jairus responded coolly.

"_Good. Don't make me have to take care of business._" With that, the line went blank, leaving the general to his thoughts. After several tense minutes, Jairus picked up the walkie-talkie again, speaking into the mic:

"Hello? Yes, this is Cavanaugh. Let 'em have it."

* * *

"What the hell is this guy planning to do?" Pichu asked suddenly, as their chopper soared through the city, leaving the crumbling bridge behind them. "There's only one of him..."

Suddenly, several missiles sailed through the air and toward them. If Ness hadn't maneuvered out of the way in time, the missiles would've taken them out. They watched as they smashed into an energy tank behind them, causing a great explosion that shook the city around them. Pichu screamed, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

"Look down there; you'll find your answer." Link replied, pointing to the window. Pichu looked, and he saw a gunboat in the river below them, aiming its cannon at the underside of the chopper.

"Oh, shit..."

"Watch your language!" Zelda reprimanded.

"Sorry..."

"I'll take care of that." Link replied. Pulling out his trusty brown satchel, he produced a round black bomb from its depths. Then, using a match from one of several in his pocket, he struck it, lit the fuse, and dropped it in the direction of the gunboat. A large BOOM followed a second later, and an ascending pillar of smoke floated up to the chopper.

"Phew." Ness sighed. "Let's hope nothing else like that happens."

"Yeah..." Zelda replied, looking out over the city and the mobs crowding the streets. "Wonder what's going on down there?"

* * *

**The Missionary Alley, Grand Metropolis**

"WE'RE NOT ALIENS!" Lloyd yelled at the mob of people that surrounded them. Up front was Daisy, wielding a pitchfork, and Roy and Lilina were a little behind her, weapons drawn. Near the center was Samus, and farther to the back were some of the Wire Frames from the Mansion. They were all accompanied by a huge mob of anti-alien freedom fighters, wielding everything from pitchforks to Molotov cocktails to sawed-off shotguns. "We're just a bunch of kids out trick-or-treating dressed as aliens!"

"Don't be fooled by them!" Daisy yelled over the unruly mob. "That's what all aliens say!"

"Get it through your thick heads! We're some of the Smashers from the Smash Mansion!" Lloyd retorted. "This is just make-up, see?" Lloyd rubbed his face and held out his hand. Everyone continued to stare intently at them, tightening their grip on their weapons. Lloyd, confused, looked at his hand, and to his horror, the make-up didn't come off. "Hey, it won't come off."

"Get them! Get the creeps!" Daisy yelled. A chorus of approvals followed, and the mob continued to close in.

"Not now! _Tzay, min po, katzef!_" Mewtwo yelled forcefully. Suddenly, the entire mob was in frozen suspension, their faces etched with anger and bloody murder. Lloyd sighed and motioned for the others to climb over the wall. Once they were over, they continued running toward the freeway.

Above the panicking screams of the terrified denizens of the Island, Lloyd shouted, "That was brilliant, Treecko! The face paint won't come off? What kind did you get, anyway?"

"I got something called 'Permanent Exterior Latex' because I figured we'd be outside all night!" Treecko responded.

"Grah!" Lloyd growled in frustration. "I'm surrounded by idiots!"

* * *

**The Skies Above the Grand Metropolis**

"Well, that went well..." Ness gazed out over the majestic city, marred by pillars of smoke, billowing flames and the occasional collapsed skyscraper.

"Indeed..." Pichu remarked. "I thought it would cause something, but I didn't expect them to cause this much destruction."

"Um, guys?" Zelda asked, pointing ahead of them. "Isn't that a missile?"

"Oh, shit!" Ness swerved to the right and watched as a missile from a nearby Apache just missed the chopper by mere inches. The missile continued to fly past them and into the nearby convention center, sending dirt, concrete and debris into the air in a fountain-like display. After destroying the enemy Apache, Ness bellowed, "We have to follow that guy, Cavanaugh or whatever his name is."

"Oh, yeah." Link replied. "Keep an eye out for him."

"There he is!" Zelda squeaked, pointing to a retreating chopper far into the distance.

"Right." Swerving through the buildings and damaged buildings of the city, Ness flew the chopper in the direction of the Toutle River snaking through the metropolis. Following it, they were soon led to a large man-made waterfall in front of the City Council building, complete with palm trees, flags and a bridge right next to the waterfall for tourists. "Whoa. That's pretty cool."

"Ness!" We don't have time to browse!" Pichu panicked.

"Sorry..." Making a hard left turn into the nearby street, Ness had barely enough time to dodge several missiles that flew harmlessly into the sky. "What the heck?" Looking ahead of him, two military Humvees had driven up to the highway ahead of them and were firing the deadly explosives at the chopper itself. Beyond that was another Humvee carrying soldiers. "Not this again!"

"You know the drill, Ness." Link replied. Somewhat annoyed at the mass of enemies, Ness launched two missiles: one at the bridge and another at the convoy. Two enormous BOOMS echoed through the urban canyon as the highway collapsed, taking the two Humvees with it. The second one smashed the convoy, and it detonated; taking a sizeable chunk of the road with it.

"I swear! Can't these people leave us alone for a change?" Pichu burst out as a mean-looking Cobra darted in front of them, detonating several missiles near the chopper. As it shook from the recoil, it sent everyone flying in various directions. Staggering to its feet, Pichu added, "This is ridiculous! We haven't done anything wrong!"

"They think we have." Link growled as Ness destroyed the enemy chopper ahead of them. "As long as they act on what they think, they'll never leave us alone."

"...this sucks..." Pichu replied as Ness continued forward.

* * *

**The Merrimac Dam, outside the Grand Metropolis**

"What on earth?" A news van screeched to an unceremonious halt as the driver looked out and into the giant crevasse where just half an hour ago, the dam stood. "Holy crap..."

"_Johnny!_" Reed's voice yelled urgently into the radio. "_What the hell's taking so long? Hurry up!_"

"But, sir..." Johnny panicked. "The dam's gone!"

"_What do you mean, 'gone'?_" Reed retorted hotly.

"Just what I said, sir! The dam's gone!"

"_In-fucking-credible_..." Reed muttered to himself, the sound of which seemed to be intently focused on something or other. "_...very well. I'll send a chopper over to pick you up._"

"Thank you, sir." Johnny answered.

"_Hmph. Just don't forget the camera. We'll need it._" Reed turned off the walkie-talkie, leaving nothing but static on the radio. Sighing, Johnny just sat down and waited for the chopper.

* * *

**The Skies Above the Grand Metropolis**

"Hey, shit!" Link screamed in panic as another chopper fired missiles at them. "What the hell's wrong with these people?"

"They can't seem to take a joke." Ness bluntly replied as they flew into a riverside part of the Metropolis. Spying several decrepit buildings to the side of the river, he suddenly broke out in a wide grin and began whispering to the others. "Hey, how about we... ... ... ...okay?"

"Blinder..." Pichu said as Ness pressed the missile button. The military in the other chopper wondered what was going on until Ness fired a missile into the crumbling supports of the decrepit skyscrapers. Suddenly, accompanied with a loud groaning noise the skyscraper fell onto the next one, which feel into the one after it, creating a domino effect that sent the final skyscraper towards them. Trying to get away, the chopper was too late as it fell on top of them, forcing it into the water and destroying it along with a gunboat that was sent to ambush the Smashers and sending a huge fountain-like blast of water and rubble into the air.

"Phew...hopefully they'll leave us alone." Link replied. To his dismay, after flying through the streets up towards the main factory plaza, another gunboat had decided to use them as target practice. "So much for that..."

"Yeah..." Zelda sighed as she pulled a bomb out of Link's satchel. Lighting the fuse, she held it out the window and let it drop onto the gunboats, sending scorched metal and charred flesh into the nearby windows and the river.

"This is seriously becoming a problem." Ness replied as he flew into the core of the Factory District, the distant HEXAeco Tower aglow from the light of nearby fires, set by rioters inside the chaotic city. Inside the core itself was a huge cylindrical pit, covered in steel pipes and girders. Energy was flowing through them and into the floor of the pit far below, covering the floor with pure energy and making it look like a giant lava pit. "Whoa...that's so cool!"

"I wonder how far it is to the floor..." Pichu added. "Probably wouldn't want to know..."

"_Holy...how the hell did you get here?_" Suddenly turning toward the factory building, the surprised foursome turned to see Jairus Cavanaugh's chopper hovering in the air in front of them. "_Who the hell are you people?_"

"Um...we come in peace?" Pichu said uncertainly.

"SHH!" Link warned, placing a finger on Pichu's mouth.

"_...shit! I must get to the base!_" Jairus replied in a strangely panicked manner. Pressing a button, he sent a missile into the wall of the factory, sending metal, energy and factory workers flying out of the building. Then, without a second thought, he directed the chopper into the smoldering hole left in the factory wall.

"Follow him!" Link yelled urgently, pointing to the hole in the wall. Chasing Jairus into the factory, he watch as the general weaved in and out of the machinery and energy pipes built throughout the large warehouse; Jairus was flying erratically as to try and shake Link off of his trail.

"_You all may be skillful pilots, but no match for me!_" Jairus yelled into the walkie-talkie.

"We'll see about that..." Ness muttered under his breath as he launched two missiles at the chopper. Thinking quickly, Jairus lit several packages of flares and kicked them out the window, redirecting the missiles into the flares. A large explosion resonated throughout the warehouse, sending a cloud of fiery smoke billowing through the halls and the main assembly chamber of the factory. "Holy shit!"

"Reverse it!" Pichu panicked.

"I'm trying!" Ness yelled. As the chopper soared through the flames, all four had to close their eyes from the brightness of the white hot balls of flame. Several minutes later, the chopper emerged from the other side of the smoke cloud, looking and smelling somewhat singed but otherwise in one piece. "That was close..."

"Indeed."

"_Impossible! How the hell did you—!_" Jairus' voice blurted out from the walkie-talkie. Getting very pissed off, he punched a nearby button on the controls and sprung a fully-loaded machine gun from the underside of the chopper. Then, steering a joystick in the direction of the pipes, he opened fire, rupturing said pipes and sending flame jets into the center of the room.

"Uh-oh...better be careful." Zelda replied.

"Oh, shit..." Link whispered.

"FLY, NESS, FLY!" Pichu yelled.

"Hold on!" Ness yelled as he twisted the control stick in various directions. Thankfully, they weren't even grazed by the flame jets, or worse, the pipes themselves. As the room behind them flooded with energy, they entered a storage room, blown open by a missile courtesy of Cavanaugh's chopper. Steering through the hole, Ness found himself out over Gulf Herringway, a body of water that held the main ports of the Grand Metropolis. As such, docks, shipping containers, and portside boats bordered the Herringway Avenue with its shops and hotels. Scanning the horizon for any signs of Jairus' chopper, Ness asked, "Where the hell did he go?"

"I think **that** may answer your question, Ness..." Zelda replied, pointing toward the gulf ominously. Looking over, all four Smashers watched as a giant metal helipad and three steel towers rose out of the deep of the gulf, Jairus' chopper landing on the top. The three towers flickered, and suddenly a pale blue wrap of energy surrounded the metal structure.

"_Hmph. You think you can stand against the military?_" Jairus' voice taunted. "_Think again._" Suddenly, several drones popped out of a panel underneath one of the towers, guns drawn and firing in the general direction of the chopper.

"Ack!" Ness yelled as one of the bullets struck their mark, embedding itself into the young psychic's shoulder.

"MOVE! I'll take over." Link replied. The chopper began to circle the barrier wall in a straight line, running at a quick, yet steady pace as the auto-driver was set and running. Several missiles slammed into the sides of the generators as lead from the machine guns mounted under their chopper took out the military drones. Only the faces of their enemies dared to poke out from the window, ducking back inside to avoid shots that ricocheted off the steel plating of the chopper.

As Link continued to circle the impregnable barrier, Pichu had found a rocket launcher with seemingly endless ammo stashed under the seat and poked the barrel out of the window, aiming for the blue pulsing orb. He pulled the trigger...

"Generator down, repeat, generator down!" Pichu screamed above the deafening noise of explosions as the tower crumbled and collapsed into the murky waters of the gulf.

"Keep going, Pichu! Take them all out!" Link whooped as the ionic shield began to weaken in glow.

"_Goddammit..._" Jairus' voice grumbled as the tower sank into the sea. Meanwhile, a crowd had gathered around the docks to watch the fiery spectacle, their cheers for both the Smashers and Jairus echoing through the crisp autumn night.

This phase of the battle went on tediously, as the more drones were shot, the more that took their place. The defense force slowly multiplied like cockroaches, and they were just as nasty. But lo and behold, eventually the last generator smashed into a million tiny fragments and collapsed into the sea.

"Last generator down, repeat, the last one is gone!"

There was a startled gurgle from Jairus Cavanaugh followed by a low hum as the ionic shield flashed one more time before fading away. It was fully down and un-operational. Sensing he was close to defeat, Jairus grabbed an MK2 Detonator and waited...

"_Hmph. You've done well to get this far, Gaiden. But don't think this is the end._" Jairus spoke into the walkie-talkie.

"It is the end of this battle." Pichu said as he fired shell after shell upon the giant metal structure. Joined with Link at the missile controls, the metal base began to sway, creaking and groaning after each explosion.

Finally, after several missile attacks, Pichu aimed at the base once more. The butterscotch furred Pokèmon pulled the trigger...

...and Jairus Cavanaugh leapt off the roof and straight down toward the water. Fiery pieces of metal flew over the helipad and began to fall straight into the sea as the metal base finally snapped at the base and leaned over toward the sea. Showing no fear, Jairus fired the MK2 Detonator into the sea and dove into the resulting geyser of water. Thinking fast, he then swam away from the base as the giant metal structure plunged into the sea behind him and exploded, letting a giant fountain-like beast of water into the air before all became quiet again.

"Phew..." Zelda sighed as she handed Ness a red potion after removing the bullet from his shoulder. "It's over."

"No, Zel..." Link replied. "Jairus said not to think it was the end. For all we know, our problems may just be beginning..."

"So now what do we do?" Pichu asked.

"We prepare for battle." Ness answered. "We have to save our friends...no matter the odds. It's our fault they're in this situation, anyway."

"All right." Link replied. "I know a place where we can find some weapons."

* * *

**Ammo-Nation Gun Parlor, Grand Metropolis**

"FOX! LUIGI!" Link burst out upon entering the gun store. Indeed, Fox was checking a gatling gun on the shelves, while Luigi inspecting a silver revolver. "What the hell are you two doing here?"

"We're going to fight for our planet, Link." Fox replied solemnly, posing with a machine gun.

"And-a if we have-a to blow off a few heads-a, then so be it-a." Luigi added. "Besides-a, I-a don't want to be building some kind-a of a monument for some alien-a king! What if he-a picks me and does-a something—!"

"Calm down, Luigi." Link replied. "There's no alien invasion." After having Ness and Pichu relay what they did to the other Smashers and how they did it, Link added, "That enough of an explanation for you?"

"Holy shit, kids..." Fox whispered.

"Mamma mia!" Luigi burst out.

"But now we have a large problem..." Pichu added. "The military's on them like bloodhounds on a scent, and I'm afraid if we don't do something soon, they'll..." Pichu trailed off and stared uncertainly at the ground, unable to say anything more.

"Well, that's a problem..." Fox replied. "But how the hell will we beat these guys? They have armies, they have tanks, they have choppers, and they have guns!"

"Did-a he mention the-a guns?" Luigi plaintively added.

"Yes, he did, Luigi." Link replied. "But we can't just let them get killed out there."

"...you're right." Fox grinned slyly. "Besides... You ain't going on the battlefront without me backing you up."

A big smile spread across Link's face as he placed a firm hand on his shoulder, to which Fox did the same, that same warm grin on his furry face. Everyone knew these two couldn't be far apart when facing a major fleet, and their latest fight would be no exception.

"Count-a me in, Link." Luigi added, stepping up to the elf. "I'll-a make sure that my-a brother and everyone else-a makes it back safely."

"All right." Link smiled. "We'd better stock up first, though."

"Yeah, and it also looks like your clothes need some help, too." Fox pointed to the others' clothing, already torn apart from knife slashes and bullets.

"We can worry about that later..." Link sighed, looking around the shop. Suddenly, he stopped in front of a platinum revolver on display in the center of the room. "Whoa...that's so cool."

"You like?" another man whom Link recognized as the shop owner replied. "Aah, you have a good eye for guns, my friend. This one made my career." Pulling the gun out of the display case, the gun shop owner put it on the counter and gestured, "This is my multi-purpose, multi-function revolver."

"Cool...I like this." Link replied.

"Then you'll love the attachments." The gun shop owner pulled out a briefcase with darts of all colors and several .44 calibers. "See these green darts? They're Datura knockout darts. Shoot it at someone, and they go down for twelve hours. They wake up not knowing who the hell they are, how they got there and their head's splitting like a cord of firewood." He then pulled out a red dart from the briefcase. "These are tranquilizer and blood-spatter darts. They give off the appearance of a kill shot without the aftereffects, like death...yeah. You also got exploding darts and radio surveillance ones. It also comes with your standard .44 caliber bullets, just in case things get nasty."

"Whoa..." As Link played around with the gun, the shop owner smiled and said, "Do you like it?" Without waiting for an answer, the gun shop owner said, "Take it. I can tell from your eyes that you won't misuse it."

"Really?"

"Yes. Go ahead, my friend."

"Thanks!" Link replied.

"You're welcome. By the way, you'll need this." The gun shop owner handed the elf the briefcase of darts, and he added, "Anything else you want?"

* * *

**VICTIM Clothing Store, Grand Metropolis**

"So what do you all think?" Link, Zelda and Ness asked Pichu, Fox and Luigi. After the gun store, they had made their way to a clothing store in town to change. Link had ditched the cap and donned a beige leather jacket, a green sweatshirt underneath, blue denims, and black shoes with red racing stripes on the side. Zelda kept her gold headband, but changed into a pink vest on top of a yellow shirt, and blue shorts that stop halfway down her thigh, knee-high socks and brown walking boots. Ness had kept his cap, but changed into a black shirt, denims and silver shoes.

"That's pretty good. No one will recognize you."

"Cool. We'll get that." After leaving the store and dumping their old clothes into the dumpster, Link sighed. They would go against the military to save their friends, but at what cost?

* * *

**Meanwhile, at the Military HQ in Nelson's Landing...**

"Hey, Andrew. Got Cavanaugh on the line for you." Mitchell replied, handing the walkie-talkie to the blue-haired general. With eyebrows raised, Andrew picked it up and spoke into it.

"What happened?"

"_Not exactly what was expected, sir._" Jairus' voice answered from the other end. He was inside the ZIP clothing store, looking for something to replace his drenched attire. "_The contacts seem to have taken out both our train and our base._"

"...where are they headed?"

"_Our intelligence believes they are en route to Chancellorsville, sir._"

"...all right. I'll alert Salazar to their change in route, and we'll strike them hard there. Thank you." After turning off the walkie-talkie and asked Mitchell, "They blow up our train; blow up our base; ...who the hell are these people?"

"I don't know, sir...I guess all we can do is wait and see."

"Perhaps you're right..." Andrew replied, sighing to himself.

* * *

"_It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good;  
__  
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' Suge!  
__  
Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth,  
__  
and talkin' about something that I knew nothing about.  
__  
Plus, Dre told me stay out; this just wasn't my beef.  
__  
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth_

_While he's all over TV, down talkin' a man who literally saved my life;  
__  
Like, fuck it! I understand this is business,_

_And this shit just isn't none of my business;  
__  
But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cuz,_

_Step by step, heart to heart, left right left_

_We all fall down like toy soldiers..._

_Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win_

_But the battle wages on for toy soldiers... _" –Like Toy Soldiers, Eminem (Jairus Cavanaugh's theme)

* * *

And then there were six.

Link: (looking at new clothes) Sweet.

NN1: (in underwear) EEE! You look so cute! (glomps Link)

Link: NOT AGAIN!

Holy shit, Nintendo Nut, put some clothes on!

Zelda: WHA! HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON? (attacks Nintendo Nut1 again)

Pichu: Catfight!

Eliwood: Ugh...my head hurts...what the hell happened?

You don't want to know, Eli. You don't want to know...(sigh)

Pichu: Sigh?

No one's reviewing other than Kirbstar, RoyalFanatic, Nintendo Nut1, Anters and Lightpaladin...after this chapter, if I don't get more reviews, I'll remove this story.

Link: WHA?

(sigh) Oh well. Review, please. Aah, who am I kidding? I'll delete this at the end of the month...

Gamer21

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving, peeps!


	6. Intermission 1: Before the Storm

Okay, okay! Geez, I won't delete it!

Link: Nice one, Einstein. You got half the website yelling at you. WHAZZA MATTER WITH YOU! (smacks me upside head)

Geez, don't start, Link! Anyway, even though I will continue this story, I will no longer have the review responses. Quite frankly, they take too long, and they have the nifty new review reply on the website now.

Zelda: Now on with the story!

Yep...on with the story. And please, when you review, don't beat the shit out of me, alright?

P.S. These are after the events in both Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones and Tales of Symphonia, okay? Check it out.

* * *

_FLASHBACK: One week ago, October 24, 2005, 7:45 pm_

_**Castle Renais, Magvel**_

"_...and at 1500 hours, unfortunately, the relief effort escalated into violence." A young man replied, looking at several papers strewn about the desk. He was in his late teens, had long blonde hair tied back into a ponytail, and was covered in crimson-red armor. _

"_So it wasn't part of the plan for five of our soldiers to be killed in that riot, Forde? That's reassuring..." another young man replied. He was at least twenty, and he had bright green hair and olive-colored armor. "So now what am I supposed to tell His Majesty?"_

_Forde shrugged. "Maybe we shouldn't say anything, Kyle? He's already swamped with problems about rebuilding the country."_

"_I know; I don't want to upset him." Kyle replied, looking dismally at the various papers strewn about his desk. "But this...it's just too glaring. Adding that to the recent violence concerning bandits looting the towns...it's like throwing gasoline onto the fire."_

"_Well, what can we do?" Forde plopped down into a comfortable chair and yawned. "Our forces are stretched too thin."_

"_Maybe if you got up out of that chair and helped, things wouldn't be as bad!" Kyle retorted hotly. "Even looking at papers, you're always falling asleep! What's wrong with you, man?"_

"_Can you keep it down a bit?" Forde yawned again. "You're ruining my nap..."_

_Kyle threw his hands up in defeat. "Fine...you can sleep if you want, but what would General Seth say?"_

"_Wha-I'm awake!" Forde yelled somewhat. He stood up so fast the chair he was sitting in fell to the floor. "Don't bring him into this..."_

"_All right, I won't." Kyle replied. He handed Forde a folder and asked, "Now can you hand this to His Majesty?"

* * *

_

_**The Conference Room, Castle Renais**_

"_...and you have one more meeting with the head of the EPA concerning the forests your men are cutting down for relief supplies."_

"_A tree is a tree." The young man replied. Like Forde, he was in his late teens. Unlike him, though, he had electric blue hair and was covered in bright blue armor under his navy cloak. Sighing to himself, he brushed off his khaki pants and asked, "How many more can they look at?"_

"_I don't know, sir. But what of the relief efforts?"_

"_I may have an answer to that." Both turned to see Forde walking towards the young man. "Ephraim, we need to talk."_

_After some idle chit-chat with the other messenger, Ephraim asked, "What's going on, Forde? I have a relief meeting to get to..."_

"_Forgive me, King Ephraim, but five of our soldiers were killed today in another bread riot in a village in the Ide region." Forde replied point-blank._

"_Again?" Ephraim spat out. "Five of our soldiers? On our own soil? How the hell did this happen?"_

"_We're trying to work out all the details, Ephraim." Forde answered. "Kyle and I will take care of it: Quick, clean and contained."_

_Ephraim continued to stare in shock before regaining his composure and stopping in front of a giant oak door. "Goddammit, five of our men? How many more have to die?" Somewhat frustrated, he walked through the door into a large hall. In the center of the room was a large table, and ornate decorations of Renais' flag and seal were gracing the walls. Around the table were several other young men and women, almost all of them in their teens. "This is no longer a relief meeting." Ephraim announced to the assembly. "Forde has just informed me that five of our men were killed in a bread riot, this one centered in Ide."_

"_Oh, dear, not another one..." a young woman replied amidst the quiet murmuring. She was a pretty young blonde from Grado, and was dressed in a simple white dress and a blue necklace symbolizing her service to the temple. Looking at Ephraim with her bright blue eyes, she added, "That's the fifth one this week!"_

"_I know, Natasha." Ephraim answered. "Several riots have killed forces in Jehanna, Carcino, Frelia, Grado, and Rausten. But to think one would occur here..."_

"_Would be plausible since your army can't perform anything worth crap." Another young man interrupted. He had olive-green hair and piercing emerald eyes, and was dressed in an archer's attire: dark green shirt, loose white pants, traveler's boots and a leather quiver on his back._

"_Shut it, Innes!" Ephraim retorted. Grumbling to himself, he continued, "I believe at this point that there can be only one option left."_

"_What is it?" Forde asked._

_Pulling out a folder from a nearby desk, Ephraim opened it and passed its contents to everyone at the assembly. One of the persons, another young woman with pale-green hair tied into a ponytail and green eyes to match her hair, who wore a powder blue blouse that revealed her shoulders and a dress that reached just above her knee, asked, "Who are these people? They're certainly not from Magvel, much less the Theocratic Democracy of Rausten."_ (A/N: Or is it the over way around? I forget...)

"_They are royals and heroes, L'arachel; young men and women from lands different than ours who hold power in that country or have saved it from a violent catastrophe." Ephraim explained. "There are people from lands like Hyrule, Eagleland, Hoenn, Corneria and Symphonia."_

"_Wait, that's your plan?" Innes interrupted. "I don't mean to nitpick, but that's probably the worst plan I've ever heard."_

"_You're pushing it, Innes..." Ephraim gritted his teeth._

"_I don't know, brother..." a third young woman replied. She had long navy hair tied into a ponytail, big navy eyes, and wore a red shirt and revealing skirt, stopping at the middle of her thighs, along with white armor on her chest and shoulders. "I don't see anything wrong with trying this..."_

"_You would say that, Tana!" Innes retorted._

"_Well, sorry!"_

"_Anyway, what do you think, Eirika?" Ephraim asked his younger sister. Eirika was a young woman with long hair the same shade of electric blue as her brother's, and wore a gold chest plate over her red blouse, red boots and a revealing white skirt, which reached the middle of her thighs._

"_Hmm...well, I don't see any problems with that idea...let's try it."_

_Ephraim smiled, and then turned to the others and asked, "Anyone else in?" After receiving a chorus of approvals from the majority of the assembly, he replied, "Good." Sighing to himself, he muttered to no one in particular, "Hopefully things will get back to normal around here."_

_To his surprise, Eirika answered him, saying, "Yes...I hope so too. For the future of our homeland, I hope it comes true."_

"_Yes...Our father and Lyon would have wanted it that way." Turning to the assembly, Ephraim stated, "All right. We shall send Intel to a place called the Smash Island, because not only will many of these royals be there, but the island also has vast natural resources that we hope to obtain from negotiations with them."_

"_Hmph. Why don't you just buy the whole island?" Innes said snidely._

"_THAT'S IT!" Suddenly, Ephraim pulled out his spear and pounced on Innes, who pulled out his bow and started firing arrows in his rival's direction. Several minutes later there was a regular brawl on their hands as Ephraim and Innes resorted to dirty fighting, like tripping the other or whacking him upside the head._

"_Aagh! Stop it!" Tana protested. "That's enough!"_

"_Seriously, this is getting old!" Eirika agreed. Giving up on breaking up the fight, she sighed and said to Tana, "Ooh...our brothers fight so much it's not even funny."_

"_Oh, well." Tana sighed. "What can we do? It's like they're fighting every single meeting."_

"_So, all in all, it's a pretty normal day." A fourth young man replied. The red-haired, red-eyed teen was clad in a black coat and white pants. Sighing to himself, he pulled a coin out of his pocket and challenged, "L'arachel, heads or tails?"_

"_Heads, Joshua. Always." L'arachel replied._

_Flipping the coin into the air, Joshua caught it and sighed. "Dammit, you win again..."_

"_And that's your definition of normal?" a fifth teen sneered. He had long brown hair, a headband on his forehead, and was dressed in a rogue's attire._

"_Rennac, shut up." L'arachel said. Rennac just sulked and grumbled to himself._

_Watching the others boredly talk, place bets on the fight between Innes and Ephraim, or in Forde's case, painting, Eirika sighed and asked Tana, "Should we adjourn the meeting? I doubt anyone's paying attention anyone."_

"_Yeah." Tana answered. "Looks like we won't get anything else done...oh well..."

* * *

_

_**Five Minutes Later, in the King's Chambers**_

"_Aah...my arm...it stings..." Ephraim complained as his younger sister wrapped ace bandages all over his wounds._

"_Well, you deserved it!" Eirika teased, as she placed rubbing alcohol on one of her brother's wounds to clean it. As he winced at the pain, she added, "Really, is that a way for a king to act?"_

"_Sorry, sister..." Ephraim sighed. "But Innes is so annoying! Anyway, who should we send over to the Island?"_

"_Hmmm..." Eirika put away the medical kit and sat down on the bed next to her brother. After a few moments, she asked, "Why not Seth?"_

"_He's needed here." Ephraim answered. "He's pretty much the closest thing I have to the head of the army because the last one died in the invasion."_

"_Oh...okay..." After several more quiet moments, Eirika suggested, "How about Forde?"_

"_He probably wouldn't take it seriously. Probably take it as a vacation."_

_Giggling a bit, she then suggested again, "Why not Kyle?"_

"_Sigh...he's needed here, too." Ephraim said._

"_Franz?"_

"_He's working with Seth to restore order in Renais." Sighing, he let himself collapse on the bed and said through the blankets, "Who else could we send? I can't think of anyone else..."_

_Eirika was about to agree with her brother until the image of a certain blue-haired thief popped into her mind, a confident smile on his face and his hand in a 'V for victory' sign._

"_I may know someone who fits the bill..."

* * *

_

_**A Forest in the Ide Region**_

"_Hello?" Eirika asked, her voice resonating off the many trees within the grove. "Hello? Anyone in there?"_

_Suddenly a bandit had walked into the grove and saw the young Queen of Renais. "Heh heh heh...you're a pretty one, aren't you? The guys at the base will love you..."_

_Eirika darted around and pulled a rapier out of her cloak, swinging it just in time to parry the bandit's attack. "Oh, you're a tough one, aren't you?" the bandit sneered._

"_I will not let my land be plagued by bandits like you!" Eirika vowed, parrying several of the bandit's blows._

"_Well, so you're Renais' royal brat, eh? This'll be promising..." After several parries, the bandit had managed to knock the rapier out of Eirika's hand and used his foot to pin her wrist to the ground. "Heh. Any last requests?"_

"_I will not die here." Eirika answered. "My country needs me."_

"_Heh. Suit your-AAH!" Suddenly, the bandit dropped his axe and doubled over in pain, a gash on his side bleeding profusely. Before he even knew where the blow came from, he collapsed onto the ground, dead from a stab wound that tore apart his neck. After a few tense moments, Eirika was sure the bandit was dead and wormed her wrist out of the corpse's grasp._

"_Phew...that was close." Eirika sighed, picking up her rapier from the ground._

"_Ah, your Majesty." Eirika turned around to see the blue-haired thief looking at her from where he was sitting on a tree branch, wiping blood off his dagger. His turquoise eyes were searching, the wind whipping his navy cloak around his beige-clothed form. "What would you be doing in this forest in the middle of the morning?"_

"_Colm..." Eirika replied. "Thank you for your help, although I am capable of handling such a rogue."_

_Colm chuckled wryly. "You had the situation under control? Not from my perspective." Jumping off the tree branch and landing gracefully on the ground, he brushed some dirt off his cloak and asked, "So, tell me, what brings you to this forest, hmm?"_

"_Well...we could use your help in something. May I ask?"_

"_Shoot."_

"_We'd like for you to do us a favor, Colm." Eirika replied, pacing the ground and giving the corpse a casual kick. "Think of it as a chance to pay back your country for all of the wonderful freedoms you enjoy." _

"_...what's the catch?"_

"_We just need you to gather Intel, that's all." Eirika reassured the thief. "We want you to go to a land called the Smash Island, and see what you can gather from there. We have a passport and supplies waiting for you at the castle."_

"_Hmm..." Colm pondered. "I don't know..."_

"_Please?" Eirika asked, her eyes pleading. "Just this once?"_

"_...heh. I very well can't ignore a request from her Majesty, now can I?" Colm chuckled. "So when shall I leave?"_

"_You'll depart at first light tomorrow morning, all right? I'll be waiting in the castle courtyard."_

"_Very well."

* * *

_

_**Castle Renais Courtyard, the Next Morning**_

"_Heh. What's this?" Colm asked as Eirika handed him a large duffel bag._

"_I took the liberty of packing some supplies." Eirika responded. "There's some food, sleeping bags, extra clothes, plenty of gold-you'll need it. When you reach the Island, the innkeeper will give you a note. From there, you can do what you want."_

"_All right. Thanks, Eirika." Nodding at her, he walked out of the courtyard and up to a gentle Pegasus waiting near a tree overlooking the castle. Examining it, he wondered, "This how I'll get to the Island?"_

_The Pegasus whinnied and gently nudged Colm. He laughed and replied, "Yes, I like you too." Looking off into the distance, he smirked. "The things I'll do for my country..."_

"_W-wait!" a female voice rang out. Turning around, Colm beheld a young woman a year younger than him, one he knew too well. She had magenta hair and eyes, and wore a brown-and-orange headband, a mahogany shirt and magenta skirt, and brown walking boots. There was also a light green quiver strapped to her back. "Colm...you-you're not going somewhere, are you?"_

"_Neimi..." Colm sighed to himself. "Eirika wants me to investigate something in a place called the Smash Island. Stay here, all right?"_

"_No!" Neimi cried out, her soft eyes welling up with tears. "Please...every day I wonder what happened to you, whether or not you're still alive...please, don't do this. You're one of the few friends I have in this world."_

"_Oh, no...please don't start crying..." Colm replied._

"_Please...you promised me you wouldn't do anything dangerous..." Unable to take anymore, Neimi began sobbing and continued until Colm hopped off and tried to comfort her._

"_P-please stop crying, Neimi!" As she looked up at him with teary eyes, Colm explained, "I promise I won't get myself into trouble, alright? But I can't refuse because this is my home." After some thought, he finally figured out something that would help them both. "Tell you what: you're going to come with me. Then you can see to it that I don't do something stupid. But you've got to stop crying all the time. Understand?"_

"_I...well...alright." Neimi answered, finally able to dry her tears. With that, Colm helped Neimi onto the Pegasus and held on as it soared into the air, going to its destination: the Smash Island.

* * *

_

**Present Time: A Volcanic Crater Somewhere in the Mushroom Kingdom**

"Hey." A Koopatrol greeted a Koopa guard as they watched over a castle within the crater from a series of walls and watchtowers. "How is it?"

"Life is shit!"

"Well, what can you do?" the Koopatrol shrugged. Continuing his patrol, he was shocked to see a Koopa Car on the road, off in the distance. "What on Nintendo? Hey, Kolya! Hand me that telescope!"

"What for?"

"Just hand it to me!" After forcibly grabbing the telescope from Kolya's hand, he pointed it toward the Koopa Car and zoomed in. "Holy shit...Master Bowser has returned!"

"WHAT!" Kolya shrieked. "You're shitting me, right, Rammstein?"

"I shit you not." Rammstein the Koopatrol replied. Totally convinced, the two Koopas ran down the stairs of the wall and up to the gatehouse in front of the castle just as Bowser pulled in. Using the winch system, they spun the handle to open up the gate to said castle. "Master Bowser, how was the tournament?"

"Eh, not too bad." Bowser answered. "Where are Kamek and Kammy Koopa? It's urgent."

"Inside the Great Hall, sir."

"Good." Speeding down the brimstone path, Bowser screeched to a halt in front of the giant castle and walked through the precarious bridge above the volcano into the castle he called home. Walking through the surprisingly luxurious foyer, past all the guards, he entered the Great Hall, where Kamek and Kammy were hunched over a chessboard.

"Hmm..."

"Where to move...aha!" Kammy moved a rook to a space, and smirked. "Any move you make from now on will cost you the game."

"AAH!" Kamek pounded the table in all his fury. "That's the 300th time this week!"

"300th what this week?" Bowser asked, stepping up to the two feuding magicians.

"Ah! Your Smasheriness!" the old Koopa witch replied. "What brings you back from the Island?"

"We have a problem." Bowser replied. "You watch the news earlier?"

"Yeah." Kamek replied. "Aliens from another world have invaded the Island and are threatening the existence of the Nintendian race. I think it's a hoax, though."

"Hoax or not, if they take over, there's going to be some villainy shit going down." Bowser nodded. "I want to call in the coalition, Kammy. Show those aliens what happens when they try to do your job for you."

"That's the spirit, sir!" Kammy Koopa replied. "What shall we do, your Angriness?"

"Take 'em down!" Bowser growled. "Got anything good?"

"We hijacked a cargo ship full of military-grade weapons." Smirking, Kamek reached into the folds of his crimson cloak and pulled out a M16 assault rifle. "These military weapons are so cool...there are guns, grenades, electromagnetic pulse grenades...damn, these things can flatten an army with this shit."

"Sweet." Bowser smirked, pointing to the M16. "Gather the troops and arm them to the teeth with those. We're going to war."

"Yes, your Warlordiness!" Kammy replied.

* * *

**The Smash Mansion, Smash Island**

As the denizens of the Island continued to panic, incite riots, and in some cases cheer for the aliens, a certain red-haired Seraph was scrambling around the Mansion, gathering various items from different rooms in the manor and gathering them in the lounge. Once the task was done, he pulled out a wire and bent it in various places, forming a temporary antenna. Sighing and grumbling to himself, he pulled out a pair of headphones and plugged them into the Mansion's ridiculously large radio before turning it on. Working by candlelight, the Seraph twisted the dial in various degrees before getting a few garbled messages.

"_This is the Smash Island Emergency Broadcast System. Aliens have landed..._" Grumbling, the Seraph turned the dial once more. "_...are pouring into the streets, and swordsmanship classes are cancelled everywhere._"

"What!" the Seraph growled. "Swordsmanship classes cancelled? That tears it!"

"Umm...Uncle Kratos?" Turning, Kratos whirled around and saw his niece, Cecilia, standing in the doorway with a candle in hand. With eyes of fearful curiosity, she asked, "What's going on?"

"It's personal, Cecilia." Kratos growled, making his way to a closet. Yanking on a box, he dredged a military helmet from it, along with a camouflage bulletproof vest.

"Oh, no..." Cecilia whined. "Uncle Kratos...please..."

"They don't know I've been waiting for them, Cecilia. Ever since the Grand Tethe'alla Bridge...and this time, I'm ready!" Fishing car keys out of the box, Kratos shoved the box back into place and strutted determinedly to the garage.

"But, Kratos..." Cecilia worried. "Can't you just stay here and enjoy the candlelight?"

"I'm sorry, Cecilia..." Kratos called with a soothing voice. "But as long as there's a war going on, I can't help but be directly involved in some way, alright? Stay with your friend Marth, alright? And promise me not to open the door for any blasted aliens."

"Okay..." Cecilia blushed slightly. If there was one thing Kratos knew, it was how much she loved Marth.

As she walked back toward the cafeteria, Kratos made his way into the garage, blanketed in a thick layer of darkness and seeped with the smell of soot and gasoline. Throwing the light into the darkest corners, he finally found something he wanted: a vehicle covered in a sheet. Throwing it off, it turned out to be a large camouflage color Humvee. Smirking, he fingered some paint and put in on his face for camouflage. "You and me have had this date for a long time, baby." Putting the key into the ignition, the Humvee roared into life as it reared up and smote the great oak door covering the garage, freeing it from its concrete prison as a shower of splinters spread into the front yard.

* * *

**The KourTrajme Chateau, a Cliff Overlooking the Fooji Mountains**

The trees of the large forest masked most of the moonlight and left white patches of ground in between the winding forest path up to the large chateau overlooking the tranquil Fooji Mountains. And traversing the path was a young teenage woman, her piercing blue eyes making out the treacherous wooded path before reaching her destination: the chateau on top of the cliff. A rough, unshaven guard barred the way into the chateau, and grunted when the young woman approached. "Halt! Who goes there?"

"It's me, you dummy." The woman replied coldly. "The password is...mumble...mutter."

"Pass boss." The guard replied upon confirmation. "The rest are waiting inside."

"Thank goodness." She replied, walking into the main hall of the chateau. There was a medieval magnificence about it; it suggested a baronial hall of feudal times with its oaken panels, its high ceiling, its vast refectory tables where two score men could sit down to eat or congregate. Sighing to herself, she stripped off her cloak to reveal a beautiful girl with gray-slate skin, intricate navy markings on her arms, legs and belly. She was clad in a white halter top, a blue skirt with a long slit on its side up to her waist, and brown hiking shoes. Brushing some of her raven locks out of her eyes, she wondered aloud, "What the hell does Maxwell want to talk with us about now?"

"I don't know, Celsius; I was hoping you'd tell me." Whirling around, Celsius shot several icicles at her target, but he calmly raised his arm and the icicles melted instantly. Smirking, he replied, "That's not going to work, you know."

"Efreet..." Celsius growled under her breath. The being named Efreet was like a large demon: small head, large torso, no legs, and there were demon eyes on his crimson skin. Grumbling to herself, Celsius muttered, "What do you want?"

"Really, is that any way to greet an old friend?" Efreet replied, bitterly sarcastic.

"Just leave me alone." Celsius replied as she made her way to a large conference room in the center of the chateau. Seated at the head of the table was an old man in rich purple robes, holding a staff and a book in either hand. Scattered around the table were other...beings of the sort. "What's the big idea, Maxwell? Calling us out here in the middle of the night? It better be good..."

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning..." someone snidely replied. The voice belonged to a large mole with what seemed to be a large red ribbon on his head. He also had a large shovel by his side.

"Gnome, please! Now's not the time!" Celsius snapped.

"Well, sorry!"

"Calm down." Maxwell replied. "I've gathered you all here because—" He stopped short when he noticed that three of the chairs were empty. "Wait...where are the Sylph?"

"The...Sylph?" Gnome asked, whirling his head around. "Hey, they're gone!"

"We already know that." Celsius said sourly. "And only a sapskull like you would take ten minutes to notice that."

"Hush, nigga!" Gnome retorted as Celsius fumed.

"We can't start the meeting if they're not here." Maxwell replied, folding his hands and placing them on the table. Suddenly, two teenage girls burst from a nearby hallway and stumbled up to Maxwell, both panting heavily and sweat running down their faces. One of the girls had teal-green hair and blue eyes, and wore a skin-tight green bodysuit with several intricate designs on it, along with blue gloves and boots, and an amethyst necklace around her neck. She also had three pairs of eagle's wings protruding from her back. The other girl had flowing, lavender hair and purple eyes, wore a skin-tight bodysuit similar to the first girl's, except it was a slate color with purple designs on it. She also wore blue gloves and boots, had a bright blue ribbon in her hair, and had butterfly wings protruding from her back. When they rushed in, Maxwell asked, "Sephie! Yutis! Where have you two been?"

"We can't find Fairess anywhere!" Sephie, the girl in green gasped.

"You haven't seen her, have you?" Yutis, the girl in purple, added.

"No, why?"

"She's missing!"

"WHAT!" several of the beings spat out.

"Now, come on." Gnome smirked. "It's normal for her to be gone 2, 3 hours at a time! How do you know she's missing?"

"She hasn't come back since yesterday." Sephie answered.

"...okay, she's missing."

* * *

**Lake Ponce De Leon, Nelson's Landing**

"Wow! This place is beautiful!" a teenage girl replied, flying over the Smash Island. She had brilliant pink hair and pink eyes, wore a lime-green bodysuit and orange boots and gloves, had a beret perched on her head, and had large flower petals protruding out of her back that she used as wings. Squealing happily, she wondered, "I wonder what it's like up close..."

Meanwhile, on the ground, several soldiers were monitoring the skies from the rooftops of various shops and from the skyscrapers near the historic districts of the French Quarter and New Orleans; part of the city of Nelson's Landing. From their perch on the Ponce De Leon Bridge, once known as the Pontchartrain, a soldier cried out, "Hey! We got something!"

"What is it?" his commanding officer replied.

"I don't know..."

"That doesn't sound good..." a third soldier replied.

"Well, whatever it is, Garrison's orders were to shoot anything and everything out there." The CO replied. "Open fire! I repeat, _open fire!_"

"What in the world...?" the young girl asked as she flew closer to the bridge. A gunshot rang out, and suddenly the girl felt a rush of pain shoot into her wing as the iron round pierced her wing. "AAUGH! What the?"

"Keep firing!" the CO commanded. "Give it no quarter!"

"EEK!" the girl screamed, avoiding several shots that came close to tearing apart her already wounded wing. Chanting to the air around her, she produced a giant shield that ricocheted the bullets speeding towards her. Her strength giving out, she let herself fall onto a rooftop below, her body bouncing off the roof as she landed hard on the stone.

"Yes!" the soldier cheered.

"Not just yet. Find the point of impact and capture whatever that was!" the CO commanded. "Bring it here to me!"

"Yes sir!" Climbing into the jeep, the soldiers sped dangerously through the debris-gutted streets as panicking trick-or-treaters ran by them, screaming and running each other down. When the soldiers reached the impact site; a local pizza parlor, they broke down the door and rushed up the stairs, despite the owner's yelling out strings of Italian curses directed at the troops. Breaking down the door, they scanned the site. "There's nothing here!"

"No, there was something here." A soldier replied, pointing to a pool of blood on the roof. "But it disappeared."

"Where did it go, then?" the soldier asked.

Meanwhile, the girl in question had managed to stagger off the rooftop clutching her bloody wing and sneak off the fire escape, before jumping off the metal catwalks and onto the alley below. Running away from her pursuers, only one thought ran through her mind:

"_Sephie? Yutis? Where are you? Please help me..._"

* * *

Link: My goodness...

Yep. We got some covert shit from Magvel, war plans from Bowser, Kratos' vow to eradicate the aliens, and a fellow Sylph being shot from the sky by the Smash Island's militia. What else could we ask for?

Pichu: Something.

STOW IT! Anyway, read and review, okay? Don't make me try and delete this again...

Gamer21


	7. Making Contact

Link: Where's the author?

Zelda: Don't tell me he got sick again...or is plotting to delete this again...

(Walks in with several ice cream cakes)...?

Pichu: Hey, author dude! Did you get sick again? Or did you try something?

Eliwood: I thought it was Gamer21, not "author dude."

NN1: (pulls out telescope) Where did he go...?

AHEM!

NN1, Eliwood, Link, Zelda and Pichu: (screams)

Dudes and dudettes, calm down! I just got out of a meeting with RoyalFanatic. (Holds up packages) She gave me several ice cream cakes for the road. Now which one's the chocolate turtle...?

NN1, Eliwood, Link, Zelda and Pichu: MINE! (Grabs at bag of cakes just as I pull out a chocolate turtle ice cream cake)

O.O Holy-! ...anyway, I just got off the phone with RF, and she's very excited. So no screw ups!

Link: GET YO HANDS OFF MY CAKE!

They're not listening..._oy, gevalt...

* * *

_

"_She's scared that I will take her away from there._

_Dreams that her country left with no one there;_

_Mesmerize the simple minded!_

_Propaganda leaves us blinded..._" –Hypnotize, System of a Down

* * *

_**Chapter 6: Making Contact**_

**The Chancellor's Hotel, Chancellorsville**

Several people milled about the modest lobby of the hotel as the owner, a bald man with a thick handlebar mustache, watched over his hotel with sleepy gray eyes. The hotel was pretty clean: a polished oak floor, chairs and benches at various parts of the room, stairs up to the rooms, potted plants in the corners, and a green and red rug in front of the entrance. The people had become tense from the newscast two hours ago (it started at eight in the evening, remember, so it's ten o'clock now), and many people were gossiping amongst themselves as the minutes ticked slowly away. The man sighed as he fingered an envelope he had received from two days ago, staring cryptically at the seal engraved onto the front.

He was snapped out of his daydream by a young man's voice. "Ahem...are you the owner?"

"Yes, I am?"

"Good." As the young man stood at the check-in desk, his female companion sitting groggily at a chair, he asked, "How much would it be for a room and a meal for two?"

"Well, young fella, for a room and a two-person meal, it will be $125." For some reason, the young man seemed familiar to the hotel owner, but he couldn't put his finger on it...

"Will this do?" The young man fished 50 gold coins out of his satchel.

"That will do nicely, sir." The owner gestured to a room upstairs. "Number 17. Your meal will come up shortly."

"Thanks." The young man made his way up to the room, his groggy female companion following him. Opening the door and without thinking, he collapsed onto the only bed in the room, and fell asleep instantly.

Meanwhile, the owner finally figured out what was troubling him. Searching through his desk, he dredged a picture from a drawer in his desk of that same young man, the one he received with the mysterious sealed envelope two days ago. Flipping it over, there was a single sentence scrawled on it:

_If you see this man, give the included envelope to him the first chance you see him.

* * *

_

**Room 17, The Chancellor's Hotel**

"_Room service!_"

Groaning, the young man slowly awoke to find that something was weighing him down. Trying to see what it was, he nearly jumped. His companion had also gotten into bed without a second thought, and she had wrapped her arms around his torso and was uncomfortably close, her head resting in-between his shoulder blades. Trying not to wake her up, he carefully wormed his way out of bed and opened the door.

"The food you requested, sir?" the waiter asked with an air of indifference.

"Yes, that's mine. Thanks." Closing the door, the young man was a bit surprised to see a large beige envelope with his meal. He would have shrugged it off had he not noticed the seal of Renais engraved into the front. Curious, he pulled out a dagger and tore the envelope open:

_Colm,_

_If you are reading this note, then I would assume you have made it safely to the Smash Island. That's good. Anyway, I want you to go to the Forest Falls Pawn Shop on the eastern end of the city, near where the coast borders two bodies of water: Gulf Herringway and the Pemberton Channel. When the owner sees you, he will ask, "Is the baked Alaska ready." Reply, "Yes, it will be right on time." Once you've said that, you will receive your next set of instructions._

_Do this for me, and I will let you come home, okay? Thank you again for undertaking this task for me._

_Eirika, Queen of Renais_

_P.S. Neimi is with you, correct? Be sure to take care of her._

"Eirika..." Colm shook his head as a map of the city fell out of the envelope. After skimming it, he quietly stepped over to the bed and shook the magenta-haired archer awake. "Neimi? Wake up...wake up!"

"Mmm..." Neimi yawned. "What is it?"

"Food's here." A little ways into their meal, Colm felt compelled to ask the young archer. "Neimi, why were you sleeping almost on top of me? I woke up and you were squeezing me like a pillow."

Neimi just stared down at her plate, turned a dull red and sheepishly apologized. "I...I don't know...I have no idea. I'm...err...sorry..." Giving up, she returned to her food.

"...There's a letter from Eirika." Colm replied, changing the subject as he held out the map and letter. "She wants us to go somewhere; do a little investigating."

"Oh...okay." Neimi replied simply.

* * *

**The Forest Falls Pawn Shop, Chancellorsville**

Keeping alert for cars and stray leaves, they headed out into the cobblestone streets into the tree-laden city. Making it safely through the streets of the nature city, Colm pushed open the pawn shop door and strode inside, Neimi following closely behind. Ahead of them was the pawn shop owner's desk, to their right was a row of jewelry cases, and to the left was a pile of various objects, like televisions, lawn movers, and old guitars. Stepping up to the pawn shop owner, Colm greeted him. "Hey."

"Ah, good evening." The shop owner said slowly. He asked a familiar question: "Is the baked Alaska ready?"

Colm panicked for a second and wished he hadn't thrown out the letter in the lobby. Remembering what to say, he stammered, "Y-y-yes. It will be r-r-right on time."

He waited as the shop owner strolled into the back of the store. Several minutes later, the owner came back with a bright blue box with Renais' seal on it. "Here you go."

"Thanks..." Colm replied. "What is it?"

"Don't know." With that unhelpful answer, he and Neimi stepped out of the shop and into a nearby park, where Colm opened the box. Inside it was an IPod. "What's this?"

Neimi shrugged. "Can we turn it on?"

"I think so..." Staring at the two earphones dangling off the MP3 player, he experimented until he discovered that it fit inside his ear. Motioning for Neimi to do the same, Colm pressed various buttons until it turned on, and then pressed more buttons until he and Neimi heard a message.

"_Hello, Colm and Neimi._" Eirika's voice rang out from the IPod. "_I have some information about the Smash Island. Apparently, something weird is going on tonight. I want you to investigate, gather Intel, and find out what it is. Perhaps the BTV station is a good place to start._" With that, the message ended and the sound of silence crept into Colm and Neimi's ears once more.

"BTV station?" Neimi asked, removing the earpiece. "Where's that?"

"It's right here on the map." Colm replied, pointing to a square that seemed to be on a place overlooking the city. "But I wonder what in the world's going on...it doesn't sound good."

"We'll never find out unless we investigate, right?" Neimi suggested.

"Yeah, you're right. Time to pay these people a house call."

* * *

**Television B TV Station, Chancellorsville**

Colm and Neimi had snuck into the bushes nearby and crept up to them. They were careful; they were close enough to hear them, but a casual glance would have spotted a careless shadow on the ground. From here, they could hear all the conversations between the aides and the others around them. Their ears perked up to one particularly interesting conversation...

"Ah, Joseph." Jonathan Reed replied as the narcissistic general strolled up to him, various aides loading TV equipment into the nearby trucks. "You must be wondering why I called you here tonight."

"No shit, Sherlock." Joseph Salazar replied. "What's going on?"

Jonathan's voice took on a nasty corrosive tone. "What the hell happened in the Grand Metropolis earlier?"

"What?"

"CLEAN THE WAX OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN EARS, JOSEPH!" Jonathan yelled forcefully into Joseph's ears. "What the hell happened in the Grand Metropolis earlier? Your troops are busy playing World War Three up there, and no one even bothers to tell me?"

"Hey, don't blame me for this shit, Jonathan." Joseph growled. "Johnson's the one who started this."

"Well, he's dead, isn't he?" Jonathan remarked snidely.

"I'm warning you once, Jonathan: don't shit in my lawn." Joseph growled dangerously. "I, at least, wanted to wait until I had all the facts."

"And when was that going to be, Joseph? Christmas?"

"Look, our Intel indicates that these aliens may be the same assailants that attempted to attack the Smash Mansion two hours earlier; the very same ones your aide filmed." Joseph reported. "I believe that these aliens—maybe your aliens... suddenly, they're planning an attack on the Scarborough Hall in Nelson's Landing, the seat of our government. Imminently." Joseph emphasized the last word with his hands.

"An attack? What the hell are you guys doing?" Jonathan vexed. "I'm here to film the aliens, but I sure as hell don't want to be making a monument to some tyrannical alien king!" His voice took on a threatening tone to it as he continued. "No more screwing around, Joseph. You said you'd handle it; so handle it!"

"Yes, Jonathan." Joseph replied. "I'll take care of it." Meanwhile, Colm had spotted the fact that several soldiers had left on a break, and he seized that moment.

"Are you ready?" he asked Neimi, who was shaking with nervousness.

"Yes." she replied, her nervousness detected behind her sweet voice.

"All right." As he bent down towards a particular bush near the back, he spoke heavily, "Stick close behind me, Neimi. I'll take care of the guards." The sound of leaves shuffling against fabric was heard as they sneaked into the television station.

"But… what if we're caught… or shot?" Neimi shivered.

"Don't worry," he assured, briefly standing to meet her levelly. "I'll make sure both of us stays alive, one way or another." With that, they sneaked into the storage room of the station, where camera equipment, various cables and film canisters were kept. Looking around, Colm's attentive turquoise eyes spotted an air duct that ran the length of the building. Using his daggers to break open the grate, he got down on his belly and began crawling through.

Neimi followed him through the duct on hands and knees as her quiver scraped on the metal above her. She cringed softly as her gloved palms scraped against the hard iron. She was uncertain in gathering Intel, but she trusted her childhood friend to get them through.

The duct led to an empty room where the aides edited the video feed from the cameras around the Island. Colm pushed the thin slab of metal out a couple centimeters and took a cautious look across the floor. His gaze caught the sight of the back of combat boots, immediately deducting that a male soldier stood right in front of him, unaware of his presence as he glanced around, bored out of his skull. Most of the aides were too busy attending to Jonathan Reed's demands, so he was the only scout needed at this hour. His half-asleep condition left him wide open.

Colm removed the metal grate quietly, gesturing Neimi to stay back as he slowly climbed up directly behind the guard, ready to strike.

And at that moment, the soldier felt a dry hand grasp his neck tightly. But before he could speak, a single snap was heard as the hand jerked to the side, and he collapsed forward, instantly dead.

Quickly searching his pockets, Colm dredged a piece of paper from the corpse's pants, flipping it over to read a cryptic message:

_The location is Mr. Reed's office. Don't forget it!_

"Well, well. What do we have here?" Colm replied, eyeing the paper warily.

"Reed's office?" Neimi quietly asked, reading it over Colm's shoulder. Spotting a map nearby, she traced their position and the location of the TV show host's office. "It looks like it's on the eighth floor.

"Right, then." Colm made a gesture to Neimi, and she swiftly followed him down the corridor.

The two slinked through the hallways and stairwells like shadows. The soldiers never thought twice before they were killed by the thief. Carefully worming his way through the station like a greased eel, Colm and Neimi finally stood in front of the door to Reed's office, overlooking the densely forested city of Chancellorsville.

Prying a lockpick from his satchel, Colm calmly inserted the pick into the lock and began wiggling it against the tumblers until a barely audible click was heard. Being careful not to be seen, he and Neimi quietly entered his office. It was a large room overlooking the city. In front of them was a desk with various papers on it, an abundance of awards and trophies crowded the right-most wall, and several bookshelves and non-working video cameras were lodged in the left. "All right, Neimi, find anything in here that might be useful."

"Sure thing, Colm. I'll look on the shelves; you search the desk." After what seemed to be several hours of searching, Neimi found a paper with a map of the Island on it, red arrows indicating attack targets and escape routes. "Colm! Found something!"

"Same here, too!" the thief answered, pulling out a notebook with various chemical formulas etched within its pages. "Eirika was right. These people are up to something."

"_What was that?_" Colm froze; the voice of a patrol guard was heard at least several feet away from the office door, and he motioned for Neimi to hide underneath the desk. Meanwhile, he hid behind the door...

The patrolman stepped warily into the office, gun drawn. He pointed it every which way into the office, but sighed as he found no one. "I must be hallucinating. There's no one..."

Suddenly, Colm smashed the door into his nose, and sent the soldier careening into the trophy wall next to him. As he smashed against the gold and silver awards on display, Neimi popped up from her hiding place and fired an arrow into his heart. The soldier staggered around and out of the room and collapsed against the wall, but he managed one last gasp and pulled the fire alarm before he gave out and died.

"Oh, no!" Neimi squeaked. "The alarm! I'm so sorry..." She began to weep again.

"It's not your fault, Neimi." Grabbing the papers and shoving them into the folds of his navy cloak, Colm grabbed Neimi's hand and said, "We got to get out of here!"

Meanwhile, the haunting echo of the alarm had reached the ears of Jonathan Reed and Joseph Salazar, both of whom turned to see the shadows of the thief and archer duck back into the building. Suddenly, in wild mistrust, aides and soldiers alike pulled out pistols and revolvers and pointed them to the other. Joseph dredged a Magnum from his holster and pointed it at Jonathan's mouth. Meanwhile, the _Alien Today_ host pulled a .9mm from his trench coat and pointed it at Joseph's forehead. "What's going on, my friend?" Reed asked sarcastically as his finger twitched, ready to fire.

"I don't know, Jonathan. You tell me!" Joseph hotly retorted. "You got a sniper up there, or what?"

"They're not with us, Joseph! Therefore they must be with you!"

"BULLSHIT!" Joseph yelled angrily. "You tell your men to stand down, Reed; otherwise I'll give you another hole to breathe out of! Are we clear?" After several tense moments between the aides and the military, Jonathan growled and pointed his .9mm at the ground.

"All right, they're not with you." Jonathan replied, motioning to his aides from them to drop their weapons. "Let's get them together, then."

"_Run!_" Colm screamed, taking off ahead of Neimi as they burst out the back door of the station and into the streets of the sleepy city. Gun pellets blasted rocks and pebbles around their feet. Cruel laughter came from the small group of soldiers led by Reed and Joseph several yards behind them. Neimi gawked in horror as her companion cried out in pain when a bullet pierced his left shoulder, dark blood draining from the hole in his cloak.

Then, a single bang rang out above all the rest, echoing across the cobblestone street. Neimi made the mistake of turning, and everything seemed to slow down as the bullet whizzed towards its intended target. Neimi's body rocked and a blank look of horror crossed her face as the pellet pierced her skin and lodged itself in her collarbone. She staggered somewhat, and Colm grunted in horror and rushed to her aid, kneeling beside her. Ignoring the pain in his shoulder, he caressed a hand against her pale face. "C...Colm..." she whispered as tears of fright rolled down her cheeks. "I...I'm so sorry..."

"No! Neimi, don't you dare die!" he nearly demanded, angry tears rolling down his cheeks. "You were so damn close! This was my fault! If I had eliminated that guard, maybe…!"

"Please don't blame yourself…" Neimi replied softly as blood oozed out of her shoulder. "Please...get out of here while you still can..." With her last bit of strength, she pushed Colm away into a nearby bush before she shut her eyes and collapsed onto the ground.

"We got one!" a burly voice hollered a few yards away. The fugitive stumbled to his feet, diving behind a thick shrub near a house. He peered through the thick foliage and witnessed as a group of soldiers kicked and poked the girl with their various weapons. A burly male laughed with wild abandon as he fired his machine gun rapidly into the heavens.

"Who the hell is this?" Jonathan Reed asked when he and Joseph caught up. "I thought there were two of them!"

"Who cares?" the soldier replied, pointing a gun at Neimi's head. "I'll finish this."

"Put down your weapon, Liebo. That's an order." Joseph replied with dark authority as he stooped next to the girl. Feeling for a pulse and finding one, he smiled and replied, "She'll live. Take her back to our Ground Zero base. I want to have some 'fun' with her before we plant a bullet into her skull."

"Joseph..." Jonathan growled warningly as they threw the unconscious Neimi into a military Jeep. "Are you sure about this?"

"Don't worry yourself, Reed. There are plenty of our patrols in this city. There's no way that fugitive will escape." Joseph replied, hopping into the driver's seat. "Jonathan...if anyone asks what happened, we don't know each other."

"I wish we didn't." Jonathan replied sourly as the Jeep drove off into the horizon. Several of his aides rushed up to him, but seeing as nothing else was wrong, he motioned for them to go back to the TV station and finish with everything else. Meanwhile, Colm watched them with angry eyes as they left with their prey, and then turned away in disgust. This sudden movement shot pain through his shoulder as if reminding him of his injury. Gingerly, he ripped off part of his cloak and tied it effortlessly around his shoulder as a makeshift bandage. Growling to himself, he escaped into the darkness, but without one last assertion:

"_Don't worry, Neimi...I'll rescue you if it's the last thing I do..._"

* * *

**Route 280, outside the city of Chancellorsville**

The hours began to take a toll on Commander Trent as his eyes began to droop, indicating his lack of sleep. A rattle came from the fronds of green behind him, but he didn't bother to look behind him as he knew it was only Captain Hanover.

"Slow night?"

"If you call stargazing exciting, then nah."

"Lucky you." Trent rolled his eyes; Hanover didn't have many brains to begin with. Hanover turned back to the freeway out of Chancellorsville. "Hey, whazzat?"

In the dark blue, a black dot bounced above the rocks in the west, their destination: Chancellorsville. Confused, Trent brought out his binoculars and gazed at whatever was coming this way, even though it was too dark to really tell. However, they weren't needed as a familiar blonde color shone through the dark. "It's Gaiden!"

Before they could leave, a spark of light flashed by them as a large explosion incinerated Trent and Hanover alive. The jeep they were in overturned and flew into a large mud pit and burned steadily before the goop sucked them in. Several minutes later, a jeep came into view, with Link, Zelda, Ness, Pichu, Fox and Luigi as its occupants.

"Jeez..." Fox replied, eyeing the wreckage. "They're not playing any more games with this, are they?"

"Doesn't look like it." Ness replied. He sighed, and then cursed himself. "If I hadn't done this, we wouldn't be in this situation!"

"Hey, it's alright." Pichu calmed. "If anything, it's my fault. I'm the one who thought up of this in the first place!"

"It's the fault of that idiot, Reed." Link answered. "If only he'd kept his nose in his own business..."

"It doesn't matter whose fault it is. We need to find our friends, and fast." Zelda told the others.

"They're-a not going to-a last long." Luigi agreed. "We should be focusing on-a finding them."

"You're right." Link replied, starting the jeep again. "Let's move."

They hadn't even driven halfway through the forest when Fox stopped them. "Hang on a sec, Link. Turn left here."

"What for?" Link asked.

"You'll see." Shrugging it off, Link turned left onto a desolate dirt road that wound through the foliage of the forest and deep into its core. After what seemed to be a long time, Link emerged from the overgrowth to behold a small meadow hidden deep inside the forest. In the exact center was a large pond filled with muddy water and lily pads; in the center of the lake was a medium sized house smack dab in the center, with cypress boardwalks winding up to the front door. Gawking at the house, Fox hopped out of the jeep and walked up to the door.

"Fox..." Link asked as he and the others followed the vulpine up to the door. "What is this?"

"Before the tournament began, General Pepper sent me here on a previous mission to investigate a crime syndicate involved in the assassination of the Cornerian president. This was a hidden outpost, and I took it up as a bachelor pad of sorts after they reorganized intelligence." Fox explained as he pulled out a key. After a few minutes, he turned the knob and pushed it in. "Take a seat."

The interior of the small base was modest; the floors and walls were made of wood. Maps and bookshelves lined the walls; there was a couch and some chairs in the center. In a separate room were a small kitchen and a desk where a laptop was being recharged. As Fox stepped into the room with the laptop, Link and the others settled themselves around the room, talking about their next course of action. "All right, how do you suggest we handle this?"

"Tell them?" Pichu asked.

"No-a way, Jose!" Luigi answered. "Last-a time you tried to do-a that, it-a nearly got-a you killed!"

"How about show-and-tell?"

"They'd probably shoot the others the first chance they get." Zelda replied. "Not something we'd like to achieve."

"Point taken." As Ness and Pichu continued pondering what they could do, Fox came back into the room with several printed pages and a map of the city.

"All right, I got something." Fox replied, spreading the map of Chancellorsville out upon the table. Pointing to a square on the map, he replied, "The TV station where the broadcast was transmitted to is right here, on this cliff. Now..." Fox made paths on the streets, three of them surrounding the TV station. "There are local patrols of a questionable kind that are guarding the station."

"Probably military patrols, then." Link put in.

"Maybe. Anyway, if we are to find information on the whereabouts of our friends, we should do our best to stay out of the patrols' sights." Fox added, "Avoidance is the best policy this time around."

"All right, then." Ness said. "Let's find some information."

* * *

**Television B TV Station, Chancellorsville**

As Jonathan Reed swept his gaze imperially over his aides, he was wondering what kind of trouble Joseph was getting into now. Sure, he had taken a young woman hostage and was going to do something...illegal, but what were his concerns? His job was to find the aliens and capture their awesome horror on tape. Yet...there was something about the turn of events that somehow didn't feel right at all. Shrugging it off, he continued to oversee his aides' progress on work.

Several minutes later, he was surprised to see a few teens walking up to him, one of them carrying a video camera. "Who are you, and what do you want?"

"Hello." One of the teens replied. "You are the host of _Alien Today_, right?"

"The one and only..." Reed answered. "Why?"

"We're some amateur filmmakers, and we want to find the aliens as well."

"Ahh...Forgive me, but up until a few minutes ago, we knew where the aliens were."

"Really?" a teenage girl asked. "You wouldn't happen to have remembered where they were, would you?"

"I'm sorry, but an idiot spy stole it." Reed answered.

"A spy?" the girl asked. "Who did they work for? The military?"

Jonathan's face paled for only a moment, but he regained his composure and coolly replied, "I believe it was an alien spy."

"You're sure it wasn't the military?"

"I'm sure, for chrissakes." Reed replied coldly. "Now go. I have a very important task to complete." Shooing them away, Jonathan just growled to himself and left, presumably getting something to drink.

Meanwhile, Link and Zelda had sneaked away from the TV station and met up with Fox and the others in a hidden alleyway. "What did you find out?" Pichu asked.

"Judging from his reaction, I'd say Reed was hiding something." Link replied. "Something worth finding."

"Our friends?"

"He said it was a map of sorts. Problem is, it was allegedly stolen." Zelda answered. "He says it was the aliens, but maybe he gave it to the military for some aid."

"Geez." Fox replied. "That's just great; we hit a dead end and no one knows what else we're supposed to do?"

"Cheer up-a, Fox." Luigi said optimistically. "Maybe someone else-a knows something."

"I should hope so..." Fox growled as they got out of their hiding place and began walking down the street to their jeep, parked at the end of the drive. Meanwhile, nearby, a certain blue-haired thief was going over what his options were for saving his old friend.

'_Geez, this is all my fault..._' Colm thought guiltily as he paced the sidewalk near the Smashers' jeep. '_How the hell am I supposed to fix this one?_' Pulling the military map out of his cloak and staring at it dismally, he added, '_I hope they're not doing something horrible to her...Neimi...why did I even accept this?_' Terrible, half-formed images of the torture the young archer might be suffering surfaced in his mind. Their very vagueness made it worse than what actual knowledge would have been. It wasn't until he saw something that he gained some form of hope. '_Whoa...I could exchange that for Neimi...hope it works!_' Smiling to himself, he took a position behind the streetlight...

"Man, this sucks!" Pichu complained as they walked over to their jeep. "We can't find a single shred of information that tells us where our friends are!"

"I know..." Zelda replied, who was traveling a little ahead of the others. Suddenly, a young man with blue hair accidentally bumped into her as he ran away from something, knocking both of them down. She screamed, "Hey, what the..." but realized it was only a citizen, not a sneak attack.

Picking himself off the ground, Colm helped Zelda up and gracefully apologized. "Oops. Beg your pardon." Immediately, he began walking southeast toward a nearby chapel, smiling to himself. That bracelet was worth a lot of money, and he could use it to pay for Neimi's freedom.

"Thank you for helping me up." Zelda thanked as he began walking away. "It would be nice if you gave me back my bracelet, though."

"WHAT?"

Suddenly, Colm was surrounded by Link and the others as Zelda walked up to the thief and asked politely, "May I have my bracelet back?"

"Heh heh...I don't know what you're talking about." Colm replied coolly. "I don't have it."

"Zelda, don't accuse others of something you don't know actually happened. We don't need another person on our case." Fox warned.

"It's okay, Fox." Zelda smiled. "I'm not a stereotypical blonde. After Colm and I collided, he helped me up and snatched the bracelet from my hand while I was getting to my feet. Then, as he said 'Beg pardon,' he slipped it into a hidden pocket on the inner lining of his cloak. Am I right?"

"..." Totally dumbfounded, Colm dredged the bracelet from his cloak and handed it to Zelda. However, unbeknownst to him, the military map fell out of his pocket, bounced on the stone, and rolled until it came to a stop in front of Pichu's feet. "You're quite observant, aren't you?"

"I have to be." Zelda smiled. "It's needed if you've gone through what I have."

"...hey, what's this?" Pichu asked, finally noticing the rolled paper at his feet.

"Oh, shit..." Colm gasped. Turning his pockets inside out, he finally noticed the map fell out of his cloak. "Hey, wait a second! I need that!"

"Fox, what's with these red arrows?" Pichu asked the vulpine as Colm spluttered in frustration.

"Red arrows?" Fox raised his eyebrows and snatched the paper from Pichu's hand, looking at the various items drawn and written onto the paper. His eyes widened visibly until they were small ovals. "What the heck? It's a military map of the Smash Island! Attack routes, targets, escape routes—everything!"

"Military map?" Link spluttered. Turning to Colm, he asked suspiciously, "What's a person like you doing with something like this?"

"Um, I can explain that..." Colm replied nervously, using his arms to form a sort of barrier against the Hylian.

"YOU BETTER!" Link yelled. "Geez, how are we going to find our friends? That stupid Reed with all those alien announcements..."

"Aliens?" Colm asked.

"Yes, aliens." Link growled.

Colm just stared at Link with a sort of shocked incredulity on his face. "Why are you interested in them? They're nothing but trouble; two people at that TV station were saying something about how they were going to attack something called the Scarborough Hall in Nelson's Landing."

"What?" Link asked. "An attack? That's impossible!"

"Really?" Colm replied skeptically. "And how do I know that you're not lying?"

"It's a long story..." Link began to explain in vivid detail what had happened earlier that night: the radio prank, the alien costumes, the media broadcast, the TV host, and he ended it with the most recent occurrence of how the military tried to eliminate them just an hour before. After Link's story, Colm thought about it carefully before giving the Hylian an understanding nod.

"I see...so that's what's been going on all night."

"Yes." Link nodded. "That's what's been happening all night."

"What I don't get is why they were saying the aliens would attack Nelson's Landing." Fox pondered. "What exactly were they trying to accomplish?"

"At this point, I have no idea." Link replied. Turning to the blue-haired thief, he replied, "Thank you for your help...um..."

"Colm. And you are?"

"Link." He introduced. As he and his friends began to leave, Link replied, "Thank you, Colm. We'll take this map with us."

"Not just yet." Before Link even noticed, the map was back in Colm's hand, being held in-between his index and middle fingers. Looking back at Colm and to his hand, he fumed. Scrutinizing the group of young people before him, Colm replied, "You're a victim of your own honesty. I wish to enlist your aid in something."

"Hold up." Fox objected. "We already have our own troubles. Don't make this any more difficult for us than it already is."

"Okay, then." Colm smirked. "Guess this map isn't as important to you as I thought."

"Kiss our asses, stupid thief!" Ness growled.

"Hmph." Colm's smirk became very wide, totally amused at their reactions. "You do realize that I'm the only one with even a sliver of information on your friends' whereabouts? I won't tell you shit if you turn this away. But if you help me, I will be able to lead you to where the military's stronghold is located in this city and I'll let you go back to this quest you're undertaking." Colm almost snickered as he finished telling them their choices. "So what's it going to be, Link? Will you go to the military's stronghold with me, or is 'Kiss our asses, stupid thief' your final answer?"

The Smashers all turned to the elf. There was a stiff, untrusting look on his face, ever reluctant to trust a thief for obvious reasons. Link's cobalt eyes met with Colm's orbs of turquoise, and though there was an air of intrigue about the young thief, there was something different behind them, a sensible mind that could distinguish right from wrong. Link had stared down many bandits and robbers before and saw the same thing within their dark pits- hatred, murder, and destruction- but this particular thief was different. Yes, he may have a cold, calculating mind, but in his eyes were despair and hope; as if someone he knew had been retched away from him. He was willing to do whatever it took to get this person back, and Link believed it. He was the only chance they had to rescue their friends, and now Link saw there was no reason not to trust him.

At last, he sighed deeply, standing tall, then nodded. "Alright, then. Get in the jeep, Colm."

"Thank you, Link. You will not regret this decision." Colm replied as the others hopped into the jeep.

* * *

**Five Minutes Later...**

"So, Colm, what exactly is going on?" Link asked. "Someone you know been taken hostage or something?"

"Wha? How did you know?" Colm asked suddenly.

"I can see it in your eyes, Colm. You're intelligent and cold, yet you can tell right from wrong." Link replied. "Your eyes gave it away earlier, back at the TV station."

Colm sighed as the jeep bounced along the cobblestone streets of the forest city. "I was sent here by my country to gather information. A friend of mine, Neimi, wanted to come along, so she did. But when we were gathering Intel at the TV station earlier, we were discovered and...they took Neimi after they shot something into her collarbone."

Zelda's eyes wandered as she scrutinized he thief and discovered the bloody shoulder. "Holy...! Your shoulder!"

"This?" Colm asked sarcastically. "It's merely a scratch."

"Scratch?" Link spat out incredulously. "That sure as hell doesn't look like one!" Fishing around in his satchel while at a red light, the Hylian pulled out a red potion and tossed it to Colm while Zelda removed the bullet from his shoulder. "Drink this. It'll make you feel better."

"Hmph..." Colm took the potion and began to gulp it down, only to spit out some of it. "Ugh! It tastes like shit!"

"What did you expect it to be, Kool-aid?" Link chuckled as Colm sipped at the potion. Driving through the city, Link asked, "So, what else can you tell us?"

"My friend was taken to a place called Ground Zero." Colm explained. "The way the young man commanded everyone and how he acted...I'd say he was military."

"Wait, Ground Zero?" Fox asked.

"Yeah." Colm answered.

"Fox, you wouldn't happen to know about that place, would you?" Ness asked suspiciously.

Fox explained, "Remember that story Master Hand told us, the Legend of Nintendo? When New York City was destroyed in that flood, a major part of Lower Manhattan survived the flood and was broken off from Long Island during the formation of Nintendo. The ruins are known as Ground Zero today, and are on the small island across the Pemberton Channel. It's accessible by a bridge in this city."

"So the kidnapper took your friend there." Link told Colm. "Didn't you also say he was military? Was he part of the Elite Five?"

"Don't know." Colm answered, this time a bit coldly. "Also, every patrol in the city answers for him. The guy practically controls everything in town"

"Great..." Link sarcastically replied. "Fox, you better ready that rocket launcher. We'll need to destroy the patrols in our way."

"Right." No sooner had he said that, a military patrol several miles away had spotted Link and the others and began firing raucously at their jeep. The pellets ricocheted off the metal and the glass as their jeep screeched to an unceremonious halt. In one fluid motion, Fox grabbed the rocket launcher from under the seat, took aim and fired, turning the military patrol into one white-hot fireball before it crashed into a hot-dog cart on the sidewalk. "Well, that was disappointing."

"..." Link just sighed as the engine turned over, driving toward the channel.

* * *

**The Pemberton Channel Bridge**

"Shit..." Link growled to himself as he hid the jeep in the nearby bushes. On the bridge itself were several military jeeps, all of them touting missile launchers attached to the back end of each jeep. Around it were several soldiers with AK-47s and some with grenades. Watching a hapless alien activist try and go up against them, the Smashers and Colm winced as the military riddled the poor man's body with bullets before collapsing in a pool of blood. Then, to make sure he was dead, one of the soldiers detonated a grenade in his mouth, sending body parts flying all over the intersection.

"Gross!" Ness gagged before turning around and vomiting in a nearby shrub.

"Aw, geez, don't start..." Fox groaned before Luigi threw up as well. "Guys!"

"...how the hell are we going to get past that roadblock?" Pichu asked. "They'd kill us at first sight!"

"There's something out there called a distraction." Colm told the mouse Pokèmon snidely. "Perhaps you should try and make one."

"Yeah, but how..." Link glanced around until he smelled something in the air. Gunpowder? It wasn't from the soldiers nearby, nor was it from his own revolver...it was of a different blend. Looking around, his eyes finally came to the source: a factory at least three blocks away that manufactured fireworks. Smiling, he hopped into the jeep and carefully drove it out of its hiding place.

"Where you going?" Colm suddenly asked.

"I'll be back. I'm going to try something..." Link replied. For several minutes after that, nothing seemed to happen as the soldiers milled about the bridge, talking, playing poker or raucously firing rounds into the air. The other Smashers were wondering what the hell Link was doing until an enormous BANG echoed through the channel. Looking around frantically, they found the nearby fireworks factory ablaze and watched as the bridge patrols raced over to put out the fire. They were too busy to see Link drive back near the bushes. "All right, hop in. That won't distract them for long."

"Right." As the jeep zoomed off for Ground Zero, only one thought ran through Colm's mind:

'_Neimi...please, just be all right when I get there..._'

* * *

"_We're stuck in a place so dark, you can hardly see._

_The manner of matter that splits with the words I breathe;_

_And as the rain drips acidic questions around me,_

_I block out the sight and the powers that be and duck away into the darkness. Time's up!_

_I wind up in a rusted world with eyes shut so tight that it blurs into the world of pretend,_

_And the eyes ease open, and it's dark again..._" FRGT/10, Linkin Park (Colm's Theme)

* * *

Yeah, kinda anti-climactic...

Link: So? At least you got a new chapter up!

Point taken. Anyway, read and review, please.  
Gamer21


	8. Vertigo

All right, I have reviews!

Link: Cool.

Zelda: No deletion, right?

NN1: YAY! (huggles me)

Ack! You're...crushing my spleen...

NN1: Oh, I'm sorry...WAAAAA!

(gasp) God...here's the story. Now excuse me while I find a first aid kit...ack...

Eliwood: I feel so sorry for you.

* * *

"_I drove in a car and flew in a plane;_

_To come to your house and kick your door in._

_Now it's down to this, it's just you and me;_

_I'll blow your fucking head off for my country!_

_I go to church and tithe;_

_I go to work in a suit and tie;_

_But this is war..._

_I'm really not sure why,_

_But the TV says that you are wrong._

_Now here we are..._

_My feet hurt from the sand;_

_But still I march on gun in hand._

'_Cause this is war..._" -This is War, Smile Empty Soul

* * *

_**Chapter 7: Vertigo**_

**The Ruins of the Empire State Building, Ground Zero**

In the northern parts of what used to be Lower Manhattan in New York City, concrete canyons, rotting flesh and rusted metal shaped the ruinous wasteland where a great bustling metropolis used to thrive. All that was left of the great city were concrete ruins and rusted cars and lamps throughout the city, and the wind whistled through the death and anguish of the great marshland once known as Central Park. The pale ivory moon bathed the haze of the decrepit ruins in a ghostly light.

And here, the massive structure once known as the Empire State Building graced the ebony heavens with its haunting searchlights. Dark silhouettes of soldiers stood rigid on the rooftop, weapons lying next to them as they looked over the twisted landscape. These soldiers were armed and ready with the following orders: shoot anything coming in or out that wasn't a fellow comrade. They were more than willing to oblige to these orders.

As myriads of soldiers patrolled the dark hallways of the crumbling skyscraper, a young woman found herself stirring slightly as she opened her bright magenta eyes, not knowing what to expect. When they opened, she immediately wished she hadn't. The walls around her were gutted, rotten drywall sticking out of the many holes peppered in the room. Binoculars and telescopes lay forgotten across the floor, gathering dirt and grime. The stench of death lingered in the room, and the many windows around her were totally demolished, letting in pale moonlight onto the floor of the chamber. Outside, guards were stationed on the decks surrounding the floor, and weren't going to move anytime soon. There was also a crashed plane in one of the walls, the cockpit torn apart by twisted steel and rust.

"Eep...what is this place?" the girl quivered slightly.

"Hmph. You're awake." A voice replied. The girl shot up in terror and tried to run until she fell over onto the floor. Turning around, she saw that her arms and legs were bound with twine and duct tape. "You're not leaving anytime soon, Neimi."

"W...what do you want?" Neimi squeaked, a few tears gathering in her eyes.

"Is that really any way to treat someone who saved your life?" Neimi looked shocked, and then glanced at herself before spotting a roll of ace bandage covering her collarbone, the bright red of her blood staining the cloth. "Sit down. I took the liberty of..."

"P...please don't kill me..." Neimi pleaded, her tears welling down her cheeks.

"We will see if you die or not, depending on if you're willing to cooperate..." the young man smiled devilishly, walking over to the young archer and running a hand down her thigh. Neimi quivered and shook nervously as his hand ran down her leg. Before he began touching parts of her he shouldn't have, however, a commander burst into the room, completely out of breath. "Do you mind?" the young man growled angrily.

"Forgive me, Joseph, sir!" the commander replied.

"You'd better be damn right you're sorry!" Joseph Salazar growled as Neimi looked on with interest. "What the devil is so important you have to burst in here like a man on fire?"

"Sir! We have reports of a young man and several others coming to our base, sir!"

"C...Colm?" Neimi whispered hopefully, although it was loud enough for Joseph to hear.

"Fortify the tunnels leading into the base." Joseph growled. "Make sure the situation is taken care of."

"Yes sir!"

"Good; don't make me have to take care of you." As the soldier left, Joseph followed him out of the room, but warned Neimi, "If you try to escape, my men will riddle your beauteous body with bullets. Don't make it have to come to that."

As the door closed behind him, Neimi sat on the floor of the ruined building, thinking of only one thing at the time:

'_Please, Colm...I hope you're okay...for my sake._'

* * *

**The Mine Shaft Entrance, the Chancellorsville Cliffside**

As the jeep squealed to a stop in a nearby thicket, Link, Zelda, Fox, Ness, Pichu, Luigi and their new comrade Colm cautiously stepped out and ducked into the bushes as they stealthily tiptoed over to the entrance. Looking at the elevator, they saw two soldiers sitting at some crates next to the elevator, their faces drowsy and frustrated. Watching the two swig at a half-full bottle of scotch, Link warned the assembly, "Stay back."

"Do you think we're some kind of idiots as to make noise?" Colm acidly growled.

"We're coming with you, Link." Zelda added. "We won't be a burden. Haven't we already shown that?"

"All right..." Link answered.

"But what about the guards?" Pichu asked.

Smiling, Link pulled out his trusty revolver, rolled the barrel to match the two knockout darts, and stepped out of the bushes in full view of the guards. The two stood no chance as they fell over like...um...drunken men, the small green darts poking out of their necks. "I don't think they'll mind."

"Geez..." Ness said as all seven boarded the elevator up into the mineshafts.

Upon entrance, the teenagers cautiously tread into the crumbling mineshafts, pebbles and wood splinters crunching under their feet. As dirt lazily drifted to the floor, the CLUNK of the guards' boots became evident as they crept farther into the mine. Hiding behind an abandoned mine cart, Fox whispered, "What now?"

"Leave this to me." Colm answered. Before he could be stopped, the thief had crept out of his hiding place and over to the next hall, where he stealthily plunged his dagger into the guard's neck. Hiding his body in the hallway, Colm motioned for the others to follow him as he took out three more guards in the same manner. Making sure there weren't anymore guards, Colm called, "They're all gone now."

"Whoa..." Zelda squeaked as they passed the corpses. "What did you do to them?"

"Heh. All I did was plunge a dagger into the backs of their necks." Colm answered.

"Gee, that sounds **so **much better..." Pichu replied sarcastically before throwing up in the mine shaft.

"Oh, no-a, not again..." Luigi grumbled as he followed suit.

"Great..." Colm sighed, staring at the puddles of vomit in disgust.

A little ways into the mineshafts, and after a few soldiers, the Smashers had crept through the halls and out into the main hub room of the mine. To the left was a lookout point for snipers to take out intruders at the edge of the cliff. Wondering why they weren't shot at earlier, Link discovered that the soldiers were on break. Ahead of them was another mineshaft that spiraled up the cliffside, and to the right was an elevator up to Ground Zero. Pushing the button and not getting anything, Link told the group, "The elevator's out of order."

"Wha?" Zelda blurted out. "Why?"

"I think this is the answer." Fox replied, pulling the end of a rope that draped over the elevator. "The cut on this rope is too clean."

"So-a someone cut the-a rope so we couldn't-a get up there?" Luigi asked.

"Exactly." Link replied. "But the soldiers are getting here somehow. So either they were already here, or there's another elevator somewhere in this labyrinth of a mine."

"Great..." Colm replied. "Help me find it."

Having no other directions, Link just shrugged and began to continue through the winding mineshafts, the other Smashers following close behind.

* * *

**The Empire State Building, Ground Zero**

"Oh ho ho ho ho!" Joseph chuckled as he and Liebo stepped into the observation deck, where he was holding the magenta-haired archer. "Well, what does the lady archer want now?"

"..." Neimi gave him a bit of a cold stare.

"...why do you meet me with an icy gaze this eve?"

"Um...maybe because you shot me, hogtied me and am forcing me to listen to your bad accent?" Neimi offered with a bit of Colm's sarcasm. Blinking afterwards, she thought to herself. '_I sound like Colm...oh my. Tee hee..._'

"Ooh, such words make my ego burn with embarrassment!" Joseph growled indignantly. "How dares you!"

"She dares because she knows it to be true." Liebo, his subordinate, offered unhelpfully.

Joseph's eyes narrowed and turned to face his subordinate, who shrinked back in fear. "If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it!"

"Yessir." Liebo replied nervously as Neimi giggled. Naturally, this seemed to lighten Joseph's mood.

"Ah, such a melodic laugh brightens my day! I can die happy."

"...may I go now?" Neimi asked.

"WHAT!" Joseph turned to the archer in a crazed romance that freaked out even the most seasoned asylum workers. "I would love to let you go, but you are a liability! Peh, the only way you would leave is in a body bag, my dear." He stooped down to meet the girl at eye level, stroking her cheek. He then replied in a corrosive tone, "My dear, you should give up being rescued. Your friend's forgotten about you, and there's no one who cares."

"What? Colm wouldn't leave me here...would he?" Neimi asked uneasily, tears forming in her eyes.

"I would not be surprised." Joseph replied. "You've probably caused him so much trouble that he's left you here to rot! Ha ha!"

"No...no...Colm wouldn't...but I always am such trouble...Even then...Colm...he wouldn't...WAAAAAAAH!" Before anyone could stop her, Neimi began bawling uncontrollably, the tears flowing down her cheeks and staining her clothes. Joseph and Liebo, after the first few seconds of noise, immediately began yelling obscenities at each other as the guards coughed nervously, amused at the goings-on behind them.

"What in the hell were you thinking, Joseph?" Liebo yelled. "Making an innocent girl cry should warrant the death penalty!"

"I'll 'death penalty' you if you don't shut up, Liebo!" Joseph shrieked, throwing his hands into the air in frustration. "How many times have **you** made an innocent girl cry?"

"That's beyond the point!" Liebo growled. "The point is you're going too ballistic over nothing! Let her alone, because not in this building will I let you do disparagement to her!"

"...what the hell are you talking about?" Joseph asked. Before he let Liebo answer the question, he finished, "Never mind. Just don't try me again, or I will crush you."

"..." As Neimi continued crying, Joseph got irritated to the point that he snatched up a sharp dagger of glass from the floor and advanced on her.

"SHUT UP!" Before anyone could stop him, Joseph swung his arm and struck Neimi on the shoulder, tearing into her flesh and making a deep cut in her skin. As blood dribbled to the floor, Neimi bit her lip to stop crying and ended up wailing a bit before hiccupping into silence.

"Ow...what did I do? I didn't hurt you..." Neimi growled, trying to bite back more sobs as her shoulder continued bleeding.

"...all you ever do is cry. That is reason enough." Joseph growled a bit more before swinging at her again. Neimi screamed expecting another blow, but Joseph instead tore apart her clothes with the glass shard until her undergarments were visible. "Oh ho ho ho! White lingerie? Yummy!"

"Eep! What are you doing?" Neimi squealed, using her hands to cover herself.

"...heh. That was fun." Joseph replied as he licked the blood off the glass shard. "Don't worry about it. I won't hurt you...much. Heh heh heh...Liebo! Come!" With that, Liebo begrudgingly followed the insane pervert as Neimi quietly sobbed to herself.

* * *

**The Mine Shafts, the Chancellorsville Cliffside**

"What in the hell is going on?" Colonel Magwitch growled to himself as he guarded a large radar jamming tower perched precariously on the edge of the cliff. "Where are these intruders Joseph is yelling about?"

His companion, Staff Sergeant Compeyson, just shrugged. "Dunno. All we can do is sit and wait."

"Whatever..." As the minutes ticked slowly by, sleep began to overtake the eyes of the two guards. The situation made Magwitch stroll over to the bags of flour perched next to a nearby box. Plopping himself down into them, he dropped his AK-47 next to him and fell fast asleep.

Meanwhile, Compeyson just shrugged and wandered around the radar jamming device, bored out of his mind. After what seemed to be several minutes, he pulled out a silver flask filled with scotch and began gulping it down to keep himself awake. Wiping some off his cheek, Compeyson stumbled around a bit like a drunken man until he tripped and fell face first onto Magwitch.

"Hey!" Magwitch protested, pushing the drunken dude off of him. "What the hell's your problem?"

"Um...hemi...hemo...mhelo...hilo...hemie...golbin...gloibn...goblin...hemigoblin!" Compeyson relayed drunkenly.

"Oh, god..." Magwitch growled. He proceeded to grab Compeyson by the collar of his shirt and slapped him silly. "SNAP OUTTA IT!"

"Ababyuuuhh?" Compeyson said.

"What?" Magwitch growled. "Speak English, dammit!"

_**BOOM!**_

Suddenly, the large BOOM echoed throughout the landscape, and both Magwitch and Compeyson whirled around to see the radar jamming tower ablaze. Before anyone else could put it out, though, the painful sound of metal grating metal squealed on that cliff as the radar on top melted from its perch and fell over the railing, sending it plummeting to the sea. As for the tower itself, it stayed on for a bit longer before it, too, was pitched over the cliff. Compeyson, after staring at the fiery spectacle, stumbled back into the cliff to hide. "AaaAAaaAAHhh! It'S (hic) ThE ApocaLYpSe!"

"HEY!" Magwitch yelled. "GET BACK HERE, YOU DRUNKEN BASTARD!"

Meanwhile, in the nearby mine shafts, Link sighed in relief knowing that the guards didn't find them. Fox, however, didn't sound very happy with Link's decision.

"For God's sake, Link! You could've woken up the dead with that shit!" Fox yelled.

"Hey, I drove away the guards, didn't I?" Link retorted.

"Will you shut up and move before we're spotted!" Colm growled, pointing to the passage to the next room. Grabbing a grappling hook from his satchel, he hurled the hook onto the top of the wall and climbed up to the top...

"HEY!" a soldier yelled. "Who the hell are yas?"

"Oh, shit..." Colm stuttered.

"GET 'IM, BOYS!" With war whoops and crazed determination, the guards grabbed their guns and thundered down the mineshaft, toting guns and bayonets. Colm, after one terrified look backward, jumped off the side and scrambled down to the floor, much to Link's surprise and amazement. Before he could ask what happened, Colm pushed Link into the mineshaft behind them and pushed them out of the way, just as several screams sounded from above. A moment later, the guards' bodies landed onto the floor with a sickening THUD, their necks broken from the fall.

Link just stared at the soldiers' bodies and just sighed in disbelief. "Geez, who are we letting protect this Island from our enemies?"

"A bunch of frickin' idiots, that's who," Ness replied with a crooked smile.

"I hear that." Colm snickered. "Come on; let's see what they were guarding."

"All-a right..." Luigi replied. Cautiously scaling the walls back up to the ledge Colm hurriedly jumped off from, they beheld a small mineshaft ahead of them leading up to a wooden room in the center of the cliff. Tables and chairs were scattered about, as well as a few empty bottles of scotch. What really mattered, though, was the fact that there was a bright magenta bow lying in the corner of the room, along with a light green quiver of arrows.

Colm rushed up to the forgotten items and nearly gagged. "These are Neimi's! She wouldn't be so careless as to leave them here!"

"We're getting closer, then." Link replied. "Perhaps the alternate entrance isn't as far away as I thought."

"Yeah..." Colm agreed. "Let's keep moving...for Neimi's sake."

* * *

**Meanwhile, back in Chancellorsville...**

"Go ahead, lad." An elderly man replied, gesturing to the abandoned lumber mill in front of him. "Take as much wood as you need."

"Whoa. Thank you for the lumber, my friend." A young man replied, noticing the stacks upon stacks of cypress wood stashed in the abandoned mill. The young man had tomato-colored hair, orange eyes and was clad in voluminous blue robes. Silently praying thanks to God before sighing deeply in content, he told the elderly man, "May God's blessings be upon you, sir."

"Thank you. Heh heh heh...maybe God will add a few years to my life, huh?" the elderly man replied.

"Yes...in faith he shall." As the elderly gentleman strolled off toward a small cottage nearby, the young man smiled at himself. Won't his people be surprised...

_FLASHBACK: Three Days Ago, October 29, 2005, 4:30 p.m._

"_Oh..." a nervous Eirika groaned as she paced back and forth across the throne room. Ephraim, Innes and Tana were gathered there as well, and all were debating over whether or not they should pull Colm out of the country. "This is just too much...how did Father handle this job, anyway? Oh..."_

"_If you keep that up, you're going to wear a hole in the linoleum..." Innes replied somewhat derogatorily._

"_Shut up, Innes!" Tana growled at her brother. "You're not going to help anyone that way!"_

"_She's right, you know. Being derogatory won't help solve this massive a problem." Ephraim added in Tana's defense._

"_Peh, you're just saying that because you like each other..."_

"_SHUT UP!" Ephraim and Tana yelled loudly at Innes as the both of them blushed furiously at his implication._

_Meanwhile, the young Queen had just sighed at their debate, which soon deteriorated into a shouting match among the three. Sighing deeply, she was wondering what she could do until the tomato-haired man ran up to the Princess, gasping and sighing. "Oh, Artur. What's gotten you into such frenzy?"_

"_Well, we need more food at the Za'ha Region. The supplies have been running low, and the people are getting restless..." Artur said in response. "I'm afraid that if we don't get more aid there soon, there's going to be more innocent bloodshed."_

"_I know, I know!" Eirika complained before collapsing into one of the thrones behind her. She put a hand to her forehead and sighed heavily. "But this is just too much...Father...if only you were here..."_

"_...I apologize for causing you anxiety, Eirika." Artur replied remorsefully. "Perhaps if I came back a later time, things will be..."_

"_No, no; it's okay, Artur." Eirika replied. "Forgive me for my actions. We'll send aid over right away."_

"_All right...don't tire yourself, though."_

_**The Za'ha Woods, Renais**_

_As supplies were distributed amongst the people in need of aid in the region, the young monk sighed as he continued to help with reconstruction. "This is impossible..." Artur whispered to himself. "And to think that Eirika's as stressed about this as I am..."_

"_Sir?" Artur turned to behold an elderly gentleman in his 60's, dressed in a plaid shirt and dirt-smeared overalls. "Are you in charge of the reconstruction effort?"_

"_Yes, I am?" Artur replied in surprise. He didn't expect the old man to be **that** direct. At any rate, he straightened himself out as the old man chuckled._

"_Don't worry, I won't bite." He laughed heartily. "Anyway, I feel that you've been so helpful to us...that I'd like to donate some timber for use in the rebuilding work. What do you say?"_

_Artur nearly gagged. "Say wha-! You're serious!"_

"_As serious as a heart attack."_

"_...okay, then..." Artur replied somewhat skeptically. "You're sure?"_

"_Yes." The elderly man replied. "Just come with me. I have a mill at my homeland, the Smash Island, which has all the wood you'll need in this lifetime. What do you say?"_

"_All right, I believe you." Artur replied. "Show me the way."_

_With that, the elderly man beckoned Artur into a modest fishing boat near the Frelian border. Smiling to himself, the boat pushed off from the docks and into the vast blue around them, all the while slowly making its way to the Smash Island._

_END FLASHBACK_

"Sigh..." As Artur rubbed his hands vigorously to keep warm, he happened to notice several military personnel march past the mill, all patrolling the city from the aliens. After one quick glance, Artur tactfully came up to one of the patrolmen and asked courteously, "Sir? What's with the added patrols?"

"It's for procedure, good sir." The soldier replied kindly. "There have been reports of aliens touching down on our home, and even though I think it's a bunch of bullshit, we're still out here, guarding the city and keeping an eye out for odd events tonight."

"I see..." Artur replied, nodding in emphasis. "But orders are orders, aren't they?"

"Yeah. Personally, I'd rather be at home with my family, sipping hot cocoa and watching football. But no, I had to be called out here to this frozen forest."

"Oh well. What can we do?" Artur shrugged. Noticing a soldier that seemed to be older and wiser, he strolled over to him, and after a few minutes of hushed negotiation, Artur came back to the soldier, beaming with pride. "I convinced your superior to let you have the rest of the night off. Go back to your family."

"Thanks!" With that, the soldier happily jumped into a Jeep and drove off, the constant hum of the engine fading away into the distance. Sighing to himself, Artur walked back into the mill, turning up the fireplace in the upper rooms before plopping down into a chair and staring out over the city, deeply meditating on religious truths.

* * *

**The Queens Midtown Tunnel, Ground Zero**

Emerging from the mineshaft, Link stumbled out and brushed dirt off his tunic. Next to follow were Zelda, Ness, Pichu, Fox, Luigi, and their comrade Colm. As he squinted to try and make out the tunnel layout, Link ended up having to blink several times as his eyes reacted to the sudden loss of light to find something in the inky darkness. When he spotted the tunnel's exit some forty-fifty feet away, Link asked Pichu, "Crap...we need some light in here. Pichu, can you use Spark?"

"No need." Colm coolly interrupted. Pulling a torch from the inner folds of his cloak, he set it ablaze and watched as the light flooded the tunnel, letting the troupe see where they were walking.

The Queens Midtown Tunnel had changed dramatically over the years, as what was once a bustling freeway transformed into a nightmarish concrete canyon. Walls degraded into piles of dust and mold, and many of the iron support bars rusted into scorched stalagmites of metal and ashen debris. Cars were overturned and littered about the tunnel, the smell of corrosion and death lingering throughout. Much of the road had sunken into the ground, leaving uneven cracks and holes in places where sidewalks and people possibly stood. A collective gasp echoed through the dead canyon.

"Holy shit...you're sure this is where they took Neimi?" Link asked Colm skeptically.

"I'm sure of it."

"I'm-a scared..." Luigi whimpered, hiding behind Fox.

"We...we're here..." Pichu and Ness added, hiding behind Luigi.

"...it's probably not **that **bad..." Oh, how the Hylian princess would eat those words, big time. Zelda screamed as she stepped on a sunken part of the road. It gave way underneath her feet and formed a large hole in which Zelda would have fallen into had Link not stepped in and caught her in time.

"Careful, folks." Colm replied somewhat snidely, cautiously taking a few steps forward. "This will get deadly in an instant."

* * *

"_Why you wanna tell me how to live my life? _

_Who are you to tell me if it's black or white? _

_Mama, can you hear me? Try to understand. _

_Is innocence the difference between a boy and a man? _

_My daddy lived the lie; it's just the price that he paid. _

_Sacrificed his life, just slavin' away..._" –Have A Nice Day, Bon Jovi (Joseph Salazar's Theme)

* * *

Link: So, what now?

Well, now I have to update _New Smasher on the Block _by Christmas! SEE YA!

Zelda: Hey! Wait! ...now what?

Eliwood: Read and review, I guess.


	9. The Ruined Tower

WAAAAUGH!

Link: What's with you?

AAH! I'M SO SORRY!1111!

Zelda: Lack of updates, I presume?

Yep. Semester Finals! DAMN THEM TO HELL!

Pichu: ...

Anyway, here's my too-long-awaited chapter. Please don't kick my ass in your review...

* * *

"_Reverse psychology, failing miserably..._

It's so hard to be left all alone. 

_Telling you is the only chance for me;_

_There's nothing left but to turn and face you._

_When I look into your eyes,_

_There's nothing there to see..._

_Nothing but my own mistakes_

_Staring back at me,_

_And asking why...?_" -P5hng Me Awy, Linkin Park (Neimi's theme)

* * *

_**Chapter 8: The Ruined Tower**_

**The Queens Midtown Tunnel, Ground Zero**

As the night slowly ticked on, with each and every second hanging upon the success of their next mission, the life of the young woman in Salazar's grasp hanging in the balance. Link and the others were creeping forward through the tunnel and, after what seemed to be a long time, finally made their way up to the tunnel entrance, where a troop of soldiers were gathered around a burning trash can in order to keep warm.

"All right, how do you say we do this?" Pichu asked the others.

"It's gotta be full stealth. Total silence. Covert ops." Colm whispered. "It may be dangerous, but there's a life hanging in the balance."

"Yes...we need to keep to the shadows." Ness agreed.

"What we need is a diversion." Link smiled, fishing a rocket launcher out of a nearby crate. "And I've got just the thing."

"Oh, crap!" Fox replied as his eyes widened to small ovals. He knew what Link was thinking, and he instantly covered his ears...

* * *

**The Ruins, Ground Zero**

"Man, are we ever going to get out of this place or what?" a soldier sighed, rubbing his hands together and holding them over the fire.

"Doesn't sound like it." Another replied, tossing in yellowed papers from a nearby ruin and throwing them into the metal barrel. The fire roared up back to life and blazed once more.

"Oh well...what can we do? Life's a bitch, and we are just its playthings." A third added, pulling out sandwiches, bags of chips and beers from a cooler. Passing them out, he sighed, "As long as we're here, we might as well get something to eat, huh?"

"Finally, someone who speaks my language!" the first replied, grabbing the sandwich from the third and digging his teeth into the soft white bread. "Mmph...man, thif if goodsh..."

"Dude, don't talk with your mouth full!" the second protested, taking a more 'civilized' approach at eating the sandwich. As the three sat down and ate. The Hylian pointed the muzzle of the rocket launcher towards a ruined gas station nearby. Oddly enough, though, he didn't pull the trigger...

"Geez, how much mess can you make?" the third replied as the first continued to devour the small dinner, drops of mayonnaise and chip crumbs falling to the ground near him.

"Sorry..." the first replied after a swig of beer. "But I needed that."

"You sure as hell got _that_ right..." the second replied, pulling a foil package from the cooler. "Dessert's on me, boys; I sneaked a few brownies from the fridge."

"Cool." Finishing off the brownies in silence, the three soldiers seemed to have lightened up about their mood and even enjoyed what was going on. Amazing what a meal can do, eh?

"Well, that was good." The first soldier smiled. "Nothing could possibly go wrong now!" Smiling to himself, the hidden Hylian pulled the trigger, and seconds later a large BOOM echoed through the city.

* * *

**The Empire State Building, Ground Zero**

"Well, well. If it isn't my lovely little slut." Joseph snickered insanely, holding Neimi by her chin and forcing her to look him in the eyes. Her eyes of magenta diluted in fear as he began making little kisses on her neck and used his finger to trace delicate patterns on her back.

"EEK!" Neimi squealed, kicking at Salazar. Without so much as a stutter, he pulled back and stopped the kick, grabbing her leg and dropping it to the ground. "Please...don't do this..." she sobbed slightly.

"Have you ever...felt a man?" Joseph laughed insanely as he began to unbuckle his belt. "I assure you, I won't hurt you...much..." Unbeknownst to the perverted general, though, his subordinate Randall Liebo was watching his every move and hating what his boss was doing. Trying to kill innocent people was bad enough, but dragging this girl, an innocent maiden, to some tower and raping her before murdering her? His teeth ground in anger as he pulled out a revolver with a sniper scope out of his leg holster, aiming at Joseph's head...

"Sob...how can you say that you love me...when you're trying to rape me?" Neimi growled through her tears.

"Meh, you're merely a liability. What I will do to you is merely that of fate. You can't escape it." Feeling enough was enough, Liebo got ready to pull the trigger on his boss...

_**BOOM!**_

"What the hell was that?" Joseph Salazar growled, buckling his belt and straightening himself before looking out over the city. Liebo quietly cursed to himself and slid the gun back into his holster before standing up and entering the chambers.

As Neimi turned to see what was happening, Joseph Salazar and Randall Liebo stared over the city towards the source of the BOOM in amazement. Ground Zero was in chaos. The gas station was ablaze and the military's soldiers were racing around trying to put out the fire. They were too shocked to understand what the hell was going on.

Suddenly, another soldier burst into the room, sweating and gasping from running up to their room. Upon reaching the observation deck, he ran up to the soldiers and reported, "SIR! WE ARE UNDER ATTACK, SIR!"

"Anyone with eyes can see that, you twit." Joseph replied acidly. Turning to the guards around them, he commanded, "Liebo! You hold the floor. Everyone else, follow me!" With that, Joseph and the other soldiers stampeded through the room and out the door, the messenger just staring out at the door.

"Not again..." the messenger gasped, looking at Neimi. "You don't know how good you have it, staying here..."

"Yeah, I'm **sure** I don't..." she replied acidly again, before frowning to herself. '_Oops...I think I've been hanging around Colm too much. Hee hee..._'

* * *

**The Queens Midtown Tunnel, Ground Zero**

"Well, that was a fantastic idea." Colm replied, voice dripping with sarcasm as the three soldiers scrambled to put out the fire. "What was that!"

Luigi seemed to share Colm's opinion. "Subtle-a, Link. **REAL** subtle."

"Hey, at least we don't have to worry about the other soldiers." Link smiled. "Let's move."

Scrambling to get out of eyeshot with the other soldiers, Link and the others ran out of their hiding place behind the boxes near the tunnel and sneaked over behind the crumbled ruins to an alley that lead straight to the tower where Neimi was being held.

"All right, now be careful!" Fox replied. "Don't wander off!"

"But why?" Luigi asked, poking his head into a building before walking in completely. His eyes fell onto a map of the vicinity, and he snatched it and shoved it into his pockets.

"Luigi!" Fox yelled. "Get out of there!"

"I'm-a almost...whoa!" The ruins around them began to rumble incessantly as an ominous crack roared into life, shattering the silence around them. After one terrified look upward, Luigi began dashing to the door as fast as his legs could carry him. But it was too late as plaster and rotten wood came down in large quantities onto the door, covering Luigi's only chance of escape. "AAH-A! I'M TRAPPED!"

"This is why I didn't want anyone to wander off..." Fox growled to himself as he kicked the nearby garbage can in frustration. Upon contact, the can evaporated into rust and sent garbage flying all over Fox's foot, making him even angrier. Shaking it off, Fox yelled into the building, "Luigi! You all right?"

"Never-a better..." Luigi replied dizzily, shaking dust and grime from his overalls. "Man, I-a just washed these..."

"Who cares if you washed those clothes!" Colm blurted out. "Now we gotta rescue **you** too!"

"It's-a dark!" Luigi panicked. "I-a want my mommy!"

"Oh, for the love of..." Fox grumbled, slapping his forehead. Turning to Link, he asked, "What'll we do now?"

"...Luigi, why the hell did you go in there in the first place?"

"I-a saw a map, and I-a thought..."

"A map?" Link interrupted Luigi mid-sentence. Pushing his way up to the stone-colored doorway, Link managed to find a space in which a piece of paper could bee squeezed through. "Luge! There's a gap in the door! Hand me the map from there!"

"All-a right..." The yellowed paper stuck out of the hole, and Link snatched it up with one hand while waving the others over with the other hand. His cobalt eyes gazed over the paper as he triangulated their position using the map. After a few minutes, he pulled out a marker and began tracing a possible route to the Ruined Tower.

"Can you all see that tower?" Link asked, gesturing toward the Empire State Building. After receiving a series of nods from the others, Link pulled out a green magic marker and bean tracing an alternate route for the Green Machine while the Hylian explained, "We'll take this route, up Broadway and through Fifth Avenue before reaching the entrance. Luigi can escape from the rooftops, jump down to Central Park and cut through the Plaza Hotel before following the street up to the tower."

"Good idea." Fox replied. "That particular route doesn't have any soldiers near it."

"All right." Link pulled out a headset with a by-ear communicator from his satchel, wrapped it around the map and carefully wedged in back through the wall to Luigi. "Luge! Put the headset on when you get it!"

Luigi, although a little claustrophobic, heeded Link's advice and placed the headset into his ear. Link's voice came through after a few cascades of static. "...kssssh..._uigi! Can you hear my voice?_"

"Loud-a and clear!" Luigi replied.

"_Good. Look at the map before you. Can you see the route in green I marked?_" Link asked the Green Machine through the headset. "_Follow that route to escape the building. We'll meet you at the tower!_"

"All-a right..." Luigi replied as he crawled under a pile of rubble and began his escape.

* * *

**Meanwhile, outside that ruin (which was named the Mean Streets Pub, coincidentally...)**

"Well, there he goes..." Colm replied. "Hope he doesn't get himself killed out there."

"..." Link sighed as he motioned for the others to follow him to the tower.

* * *

**The Empire State Building, Ground Zero**

The jeep bounced wildly through the rubble-strewn streets of New York as Joseph Salazar and his guards sped through the ruined city. Passing the once-great Times Square and Broadway, Joseph growled to himself as the wind blew a yellowed poster into his face. He tore it off in disgust and continued to speed single-mindedly toward the tunnel.

"S...sir!" One of his guards yelled above the engine's rumble. "Don't you think we...should slow down?"

The tires came to a sudden and unceremonious screech as the jeep squealed to a stop. Lifting his foot from the brake, Joseph growled threateningly, "Is there a problem, guard?"

"...no sir."

"Good." As the jeep started up again—slowly this time—the general ran a hand through his wavy brown curls as he scanned the landscape ahead of him. Yet every thought in that twisted mind of his turned back to the beautiful young archer he had tied up in the tower. His eyes flared up, and his mouth began to water. Such a beautiful, delicate creature ripe for the harvest... to hell with what was in her head; he just wanted what was in the young girl's skirt. His mouth curved into a hungry smile, no thanks to Liebo constantly being in that room with her and him having to hold back on his delicacy.

Then he gets word that an attack was instigated near the tunnel entrance.

Joseph was fed up with it. The second he found Neimi, he wouldn't care who was around. He'd gobble her up then and there, and walk away chuckling like he had done with so many other beautiful girls in his lifetime. But this time, he'd actually keep her around.

He was growing hungrier just thinking about it.

But, goddamn! Stubborn, air-headed, magenta-eyed Archer-Girl had to run away on them the exact hour he was going to eradicate the aliens of the land and personally deliver swift justice to their assailants, escaping with that man-whore of a thief she called a "friend" and botching his plans...and trying to make off with a delectable body still untasted. It had infuriated him to no end.

He was so caught up within his chamber of rage that he didn't even notice they were almost at the entrance until his guards warned him they were going to crash. At that, he swiftly hammered his foot onto the brake, and the jeep skidded to a complete, albeit sudden, stop.

As Joseph hopped out of the car, the soldiers near the vicinity were racing around every which way, pouring water and dousing the flame-ridden car. Grinding his teeth in disgust, he yelled, "WHERE ARE THEY?"

"SIR!" the soldiers saluted. "We were able to put out the car! And there are no reported casualties, sir!"

"That is good and all, but you have YET to answer my question." Joseph replied, somewhat aggravated. "Where are the intruders?"

"Er, well..." the soldier in charge stuttered considerably, "When we searched the nearby area, we didn't find anyone suspicious."

Meanwhile, during the conversation between the soldiers, a blur of green had stumbled out of a nearby ruin and was running down the garbage-ridden asphalt, taking great care to avoid the eyes of the nearby patrols. As he tripped and landed on a sharp rock on the ground, he felt like screaming in agony. Remembering his situation, he instead snapped his vision up, calculating running through his tired mind. If he could muster up the strength to pick himself up out of the hole, he could sprint back through the town and lose the soldiers in the marshy Central Park. It was an incredibly insane risk, but it was worth getting away.

"So what you're saying is that you didn't see ANYONE here?" Joseph had the soldier in charge repeat.

"Affirmative. There's no one here..."

"_Yeah, except for all of us..._" Joseph whispered to himself as he whacked his own forehead for not realizing it sooner. "THIS WASN'T AN ATTACK; IT WAS A DIVERSION!"

"WHAT!"

"Landon! Scan the landscape for any possible intruders!" Salazar yelled to the soldier in charge. "I'm going back to the tower!"

"Right." Landon replied.

"SIR! There's an intruder, RIGHT THERE!" a soldier yelled excitedly as he pointed to Luigi, who was lying dazedly in the pothole nearby.

"_LUIGI! Get out of there now!_" Link yelled, vexed, into the earpiece as Luigi struggled to pick himself up out of the hole.

"L...link!" Luigi had finally regained enough consciousness to remember what he was doing, and pulled himself out of the hole before fleeing to the tower. Unfortunately, Joseph had also noticed, and didn't think twice about shooting as a bullet whizzed by Luigi's ear. "Holy-a...!"

"AFTER HIM! DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!" Joseph yelled as several soldiers aced after the Green Machine before the general himself followed suit. Luigi, after one terrified look backward, tore off part of his shirt, wrapped it around his knee to contain the bleeding, and sped off as fast as possible through the hellish concrete canyons of the city.

Coming to the brick wall that marked the entrance to Central Park, Luigi winced in pain and hopped the wall with some trouble as the wound tore open from the sudden rush in movement. After landing somewhat roughly onto the mulch-covered ground of the park, his legs became numb and invulnerable to pain as adrenaline mixed with terror propelled him onward. Unfortunately for the poor Green Machine, Joseph, in one fluid motion, had hopped over the wall and managed to get a few shots off at Luigi, barely missing the plumber and splitting a nearby dead tree into myriad shards of rotten wood.

Pure terror propelled Luigi on, as his leather shoes crunched in the dusted, dead ground below. Grey specks of ash blemished his torn emerald shirt and overalls. His breathing was labored, mixed with dry sobs of frustration. Why he deserved this, he didn't know. But one thing he did know- he wasn't planning on dying now, and not to these freaks.

Reaching the end of the park, Luigi nearly fell into a huge glob of sludge and raw sewage, dwarfed by moss-covered rocks and rotted trees. Desperately, he scanned the surrounding landscape for any kind of escape until his tired eyes fell onto a fairly new dock at the edge of the toxic brew they called a lake. Running over to the dock, he found several speedboats, and an insane idea formed in his mind.

Jumping onto the first of the three speedboats, he yanked the gas lines from it, and followed suit quickly with the second one and repeated the procedure. Then, working quickly, he fished a key from the dock and stuck it into the ignition of the third speedboat, relieved that the boat started at once. Smiling to himself, he drifted away just far enough so that he could avoid Joseph, and still be close enough to reach the speedboats.

Joseph and his platoon emerged from the trees only minutes later, guns drawn and minds sharp. Spying Luigi in the boat several feet away, he yelled, "GET HIM!"

Luigi smiled before he released a fireball from his hand...

_**BOOM!**_

Several soldiers flew into the air and landed in various spots around the dock: some in the lake, some in the trees, and some ducking down onto the dock to avoid flying metal and glass. Joseph nearly fell into the water after the blast, but he ended up crashing ass first onto the dock, nearly getting hit by a piece of the boats in the process.

"Everyone all right?" Landon asked the other soldiers as Luigi's speedboat sped off into the blackest night.

Joseph growled to himself as the soldiers scrambled back onto the docks. "Blows up my city, blows up my boats; who the hell are these guys?"

Meanwhile, Luigi was zipping through the toxic lake on the speedboat and yelled into the headset, "Link! Where-a the hell am I supposed to-a find you?"

"_Uh, we might have a problem..._" Link replied somewhat blandly into the earpiece.

"_YOU THERE! STOP! THIS IS THE MILITARY PATROL!_"

"Oh, for-a the love of..." Luigi grumbled. "Where-a are you!"

"_Directly in front of the tower..._" Link answered somewhat sarcastically.

The normally timid Luigi was now totally high on adrenaline as he turned the speedboat very sharply in the direction of the Empire State Building, water sloshing through the lake and flying all over the nearby coast. As the road got closer and closer, Luigi could see Link and the others inside a jeep being slowed down by another jeep with military personnel carrying some serious guns. Gunning the throttle, Luigi winced and braced for impact...

"Who are they?" one of the soldiers inside the jeep asked his superior. "Don't look like any soldiers we've ever seen."

"Right, then. Ready your weapon." The commander warned, chambering the gun's first round and polishing it before stepping out of the jeep. Nervousness could be present on everyone's face as the soldiers stepped ever closer to the driver's side of their jeep. "Well, who do we ha-?"

"_LOOK OUT!_"

"Wha-?" Before anyone could respond, a speedboat burst forth from the Central Park area, crash-landing onto the soldiers' jeep and causing the soldiers to duck for cover and barely escape with their lives. As the soldiers warily got up, Luigi hopped out of the speedboat and walked over to the jeep, slightly bloody but still alive. As he did so, the jeep exploded behind him, sending both jeep and boat flying upwards and on top of the soldiers, incinerating them alive.

Luigi just walked into the jeep and sighed heavily, slumping over. "Man-a, I-a almost got killed out there-a!"

"Don't worry. You're safe here." Link responded, before hitting the clutch and riding off towards the tower.

* * *

**The Empire State Building, Ground Zero**

"Sniff...Colm...where are you?" Neimi sobbed quietly to herself as time continued to pass by. "Please don't forget about me...sniff..."

"Hmph. Stop sobbing." Turning towards the door, Neimi gasped as Randall Liebo slinked dangerously towards her, knife drawn and gun cocked. The more steps the commander took towards her, the more the young archer grew fearful and scared. Ignoring her intermittent sobbing, he crept over to her position and crouched down behind her, staring at the knotted rope before making a move. Then, he reached out and carefully grabbed her wrist in order to avoid accidentally cutting it...

"EEP! What are you doing!" Neimi squealed, putting up one hell of a fight as she kicked behind her and connected with Liebo's ankle. "Let go of me!"

"Shut up!" Liebo growled as he grasped Neimi's wrists again.

"Aaa! Stop it!" Neimi cried, trying to free herself from his grasp.

"I said stop moving! Don't you listen!"

"Capture changes a girl..." Neimi said somewhat obstinately. Liebo, put out by her determined thickheaded-ness, simply smacked the back of her head and grabbed her wrist for the third time. "Oww! Please...don't hurt me...sniff...I don't want to die..."

"Will you shut up, woman?" Liebo growled, put out by how much commotion Neimi was causing. "You won't be able to escape with all the noise you're making."

Neimi gasped a little, and turned her head to look at Liebo, her soft eyes shining with a glint of hope. "Then you're...?"

"There's a supply convoy making its way into town in thirty minutes." Liebo explained quickly. "If you hurry down that lift..." He nodded towards an abandoned supply elevator near the corner. "...you should be able to make it down and escape detection."

"But why are you helping me?" Neimi asked Liebo curiously, cocking her head to the side like a puppy dog.

"I have hatred against the military, Joseph in particular."

"Hatred?" When Liebo refused to elaborate on what he meant, Neimi added, "Putting it that way makes me more curious."

With one final swipe of his switchblade, Liebo cut up the final bind and removed the ropes around Neimi as the magenta-haired girl stood up, picking sadly at her ruined clothes. "Time's running short. Go!"

"...thank you..."

"You ungrateful little bastard." Liebo's face paled considerably as he and Neimi turned around to face the general, Joseph Salazar. His eyes narrowed into little slits as he picked up a rusty pipe from the floor and began waving it precociously like a baton. "I thought you were better than that, Randall! I take you in as my personal subordinate...my successor...and THIS IS THE THANKS I GET!" He swung wildly at Liebo, but instead Neimi kicked his hand hard, breaking it and forcing the general to drop the rusty pipe. "You dare turn on me, Neimi? After all the time we spent together?"

"Don't make me laugh." Neimi replied venomously, something Joseph or the other soldiers didn't expect from her. "All you did was try to rape me! I'd rather die before doing...THAT with you!" She added, shuddering at the memories of his touch on her skin.

"That can be arranged." Sneering ever so slightly, Joseph first turned the gun on Liebo, who began to run but was unable to escape. Two bullets, one in the head and the other in the back, effectively ended his life as Neimi ran away as fast as possible, trying to escape to the elevator. However, Joseph expected this and lunged at her, tackling her to the ground and pinning her against the wall. "You think you can escape the military! Nothing you do will work against our might!"

"No...even if I die here, I know Colm will hunt you down and kill you himself." Neimi relied boldly, even with the tears rolling down her face.

"Heh. Too bad that won't—"

A painful, shrill scream pierced the thick suspense of the moment, and Joseph turned around to see that one of the guards was lying on the ground, dead, with a dagger sticking out of his neck. Turning towards the door, Joseph was none too pleased that a particular blue-haired thief was standing in the doorway.

"C...COLM!" Neimi squealed. "I knew you wouldn't forget about me!"

"Let her go, Joseph." Colm replied, pulling out another dagger from his cloak and pointing it menacingly at the general. "She has nothing to do with this."

"Heh heh heh. You think that flimsy piece of metal will even HIT me?" Joseph taunted cockily. "I have a bullet that travels faster than you do. How far do you think you can get, huh?"

"You're not going to get far, Salazar." Colm sneered, stepping closer to the general. Panicking, the lecherous pervert inched away a little slowly, then quicker as he dragged the magenta-haired archer with him. "You feel that? That's fear...it's so bad that sometimes people would kill themselves to escape it."

"Don't make me laugh." Joseph replied, the gun muzzle tasting Neimi's forehead. "Don't move any closer! I WILL shoot!"

Colm snickered even more. "Heh, you think shooting her will solve anything!"

"YES!" Joseph blurted out. "I'm willing to kill anyone who gets in my way!"

Several of the Smashers, led by Link, finally showed up in the doorway to the observation lounge and got involved in an altercation with the guards as Colm inched closer to the insane madman. Joseph glanced around worriedly; now things were switched, and the invaders on the verge of victory. Sweat ran down his temple as the Smashers finished beating up the other guards and turned to face him in a Smash Island standoff. "There's nowhere to run, Salazar. Give it up already; we'll let you live."

Joseph growled. "NO! Never! I'm not giving up; I'm not finished yet! You may THINK you have me cornered, but I have another trick! And while the head babbles on about not admitting defeat, he continues in a plot twist: he will take his OWN life along with the girl's if they don't drop their arms!" Suddenly, he grabbed a sharp shard of glass and drew it close to both his and Neimi's neck in such a way so that if he slit his own neck, he slit Neimi's as well.

"NO!" Colm protested, faltering in his grip on the dagger. "YOU BASTARD!"

"You better not do anything stupid, boy..." Fox growled.

Joseph turned to face the vulpine. "Heh, look who's talking. Your stupidity has led you to your deaths at the hands of the military. You'll regret messing with us!"

At that precise moment, Neimi escaped Joseph's chokehold and astonished the entire company by smashing his leg with her fist. Her success was due only partially by catching Salazar off guard, but Colm had to admit that the blow was rather painful and surprisingly fast. Joseph fell backward, discharging his pistol into the ceiling above them. A shower of plaster descended on all the Smashers and onto Colm, who coughed after breathing in a bit of dust. "For God's sake, Neimi, that was a stupid trick to pull! I might have been shot!"

"I'm sorry...sniff..."

"Aw, geez, don't start crying..." Colm replied.

"WHY YOU LITTLE—!" Joseph growled. Staggering up, he hurled the gun into Neimi's leg, causing her to stumble wildly as he punched at her. Unfortunately, when he did so, his leg shot out with a sharp pain, and he tripped, sending Neimi stumbling backwards out the window!

"Aiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"NEIMI!" Colm yelled, jumping after her.

"That fool!" Link yelled.

"They deserved it." Joseph laughed wryly.

"You bastard!" Link hollered, kicking Joseph in the gut. "Come on, we have to go after them!" As the troupe ran off, they didn't notice the general crawling over to the service elevator...

As the ground got closer and closer, Neimi's life flashed before her eyes: the river incident, her grandfather's death, the journey with Eirika through the land of Magvel, and yet the happiest of all was not those, but all the times that Colm helped her, had been with her...she seemed to have been resigned to her fate. And she could also hear Colm, calling out to her...what? Neimi snapped her eyes open, and she found herself in Colm's arms.

"C...Colm?"

"Nice to catch up with you again, huh?" Before the archer could react, Colm pulled a grappling hook out of his satchel and hurled it upward, towards the building next to them, and it clung itself to the side window next to a large pile of rubble. The rope stretched beyond breaking point as it slowed their descent to a pittance. Then the rope snapped and they landed less than gracefully on the ground a few inches below them. At last, Neimi sat up, holding her head and coughing while Colm was tending to his aching back.

"Ack...Colm...thank you..."

"You idiot!" Colm yelled. "You could have been killed!"

"But...I..."

"You're so hapless! Do you THINK you could at least a bit more competent on the field while we're performing duties to our country! HUH!" Colm nearly exploded. "You could have botched everything! Can't you do ANYTHING right!"

**SLAP!**

"..." The thief's head had jerked to the side to the point where he lost balance as he collapsed onto the ground. During his tirade, the thief hadn't noticed that Neimi as crying again, her tears dropping onto the ground in front of her. She had slapped him out of despair, and Colm had trouble looking her in the eye after that.

"You... why are you always so mean?" Neimi sobbed. "All I ever seem to do is hold you back! Do you not want me here anymore! Is that it! All you ever do...is criticize me! Nothing I ever do is good enough for you!"

"Neimi..."

"WHY? Do you want me to leave! You...you...WAAAAA!" Neimi broke down and fell to her knees, sobbing and wailing loudly as her tears dropped to the dry, dusty ground in front of her. She couldn't stifle her tears as she poured out the sadness and despair bottled up inside her. Colm, pained by her tearful tirade, had stooped down next to her as he brushed the tears out of her eyes.

"...Neimi, I'm sorry..."

"...sniff..."

"...I never meant to hurt you like that." Colm replied, sitting down next to her. "I never meant what I said. You're one of the few friends I have in this world, and I only say those things because I...wanted to protect you. I would never have wanted you to leave my side."

"... ...th...thank you, Colm."

"Heh. No need to thank me." Colm smiled.

"But...you've always been there for me." The archer smiled. "Like that time I fell into the river and you came and rescued me. Or the time I broke Grandpa's bow. You helped me fix it. All the times bullies picked on me, you defended me. And when Grandpa died, you were by my side the whole time, holding my hand...thank you." If her eyes weren't so red from crying, you would have been able to see the bright shade of red running across Neimi's face right now.

"Neimi..." Colm sighed. "I think your haplessness is permanent. But I'll always protect you."

"Sniff...thank you." Neimi replied, scooting closer to the thief and placing her head on his shoulders.

"Neimi... we may end up hurting each other again over our disagreements, but as long as we have each other, we will be fine. Please...smile for me. I may end up making you cry, Neimi; but I will always do my best to make you smile."

"Oh...Colm...thank you." Neimi sniffled. The thief smiled roguishly, laughing a bit and scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. But the next thing that happened was one he certainly didn't expect. Neimi leaped on him and planted a kiss on his lips. Once again, his eyes widened, but Colm leaned into the young archer when the warm sensations of Neimi's lips on his overtook him. She squeaked and muffled a giggle, and it was unlike anything either had experienced, and they never wanted the kiss to end. However, biological urges being what they are, eventually Colm and Neimi were forced to break apart. As they stood before each other awkwardly, breathing heavily, neither was able to meet the other's eyes out of embarrassment until Neimi finally broke the awkward silence.

"I love you, Colm." she said. "When you met before Princess Eirika, I thought you thought about trying to be friends, or even more with her. I couldn't let these feelings go without finding out the truth. When you told me I was cuter, I thought, 'Maybe he sees me as being someone special.' However, hearing you talk high praises about everyone else left me to think that you wouldn't understand, that everyone to you are just friends. But I didn't want to be. I couldn't be. I wouldn't be. But, you care for me, right? I mean, not just as a friend?"

"Of-Of course I do," Colm stammered. "You're cuter than Eirika, but there's more to you than that. You're kind, helpful, and selfless; you're clumsy, but that's cute in its own unique way. There's nothing to you that I wouldn't turn down...not in this world, not even royalty. I guess I got carried away."

Neimi giggled. "So, do you—?" she began, but Colm stopped her.

"Yes, I love you too. I didn't realize until after this horrible experience. But they're pure, and they can't be argued with. There's no one in this world or in Magvel that I would have feelings for other than you."

Neimi smiled. Suddenly Colm's shoulder shot out in pain as he clutched it. "C...Colm? What happened?"

"It's just a scratch." Colm replied, trying to hide the blood oozing out of it. Apparently sometime during the earlier stunt he cut his shoulder in the same spot as the gunshot wound.

"Colm! You promised..." Neimi sniffled, smacked Colm playfully upside the head.

"Sorry..." Colm chuckled.

"Please be careful." Neimi replied as she poured a vulnerary over his wounds. Suddenly a thought came to her mind. "I wonder what Link thought about that stunt of yours?"

"He'd say, WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" a masculine voice screamed right behind them.

Both Colm and Neimi jumped and spun around to find Link, Zelda, Ness, Pichu, Fox and Luigi standing at the door of the building behind them. Link had his arms crossed and was tapping his foot impatiently; Ness had a smirk that could only be matched by Pichu; Zelda was smiling secretively; and Fox and Luigi's faces were characteristically neutral.

"Have fun?" Zelda asked. "We would've let you have your fun, but we had to stop you since we ran out of barf bags."

"How long have you been watching!" Colm asked, turning so red that a tomato would be put to shame.

"Just ten minutes or so," Pichu said casually yet slyly. "We heard Neimi sobbing to high hell earlier, so we thought we'd eavesdrop."

"So that's how loud you get when you're sad?" Ness asked incredulously. "Man, remind me never to make you cry, Neimi."

"I believe it's time for us to depart." Fox stated matter-of-factly. "Excuse me while I find our location via our GPS system..."

He departed from the group, and everyone stood somewhat idly.

"Indeed. Maybe we should take a nap first..." Link yawned. "But don't let me catch you both in the same bed, or there's going to be hell to pay."

"You can count on that," Pichu piped up.

**SLAP!**

"Oww!"

"Idiot..." Ness said, turning to leave. Pichu ran off after him to defend his words.

Zelda and Luigi snickered at their doings as they left to search for ammo and supplies. That left only Link, Colm and Neimi remaining.

"Now you two, get some sleep. We have a long journey ahead of us." Link told them.

"All right..." Colm and Neimi chorused.

Link paused, then smiled at the teenagers. "I'm glad you were able to work things out. I'm proud of you." Walking off to join the others, Colm and Neimi were blushing furiously as they smiled at each other.

"That went well, didn't it?" Colm replied somewhat sarcastically.

"Oh well." Neimi giggled before sneezing.

"Here." Colm removed his cloak from around his neck and wrapped it around Neimi's body to form a makeshift dress. "You need it more than I do."

"Thanks." Running over to the others, she asked, "SO now what do we do?"

"We need to escape before the rest of the military finds us." Fox replied. "There's an ammo depot a few miles north of here, so we should check it out first."

"THERE THEY ARE!"

"So much for going undetected..." Link sighed as several soldiers chased after them. "RUN! WE'RE OUT OF HERE!"

"Ready for another adventure, Neimi?" Colm asked the archer.

"Ready when you are!" Neimi chirped before following Link and the others. In this ruined city, where hopes and frustrations flow in abundance, the youth run on!

* * *

"_Precious and fragile things need special handling._

_My God, what have we done to you?_

_We always tried to share the tenderest of care;_

_Now look what we have put you through..._" –Precious, Depeche Mode

* * *

Sorry for the lack of updates. I'll be more vigilant next time. At any rate, read and review!  
Gamer21 


	10. A Show of Force

Not much to say here except "Hope you enjoy the chapter". (smiles)

* * *

_**Chapter 9: A Show of Force**_

An enraged Princess Daisy, exhausted from a thorough search of the city, plopped herself onto a nearby bench and dropped the pitchfork she was carrying. Most, if not all, of her anger had slowly drained away while she was gallivanting about the Island. "Why don't these aliens show up so we can teach them who's boss already?" she gasped irately in-between heavy breaths. "I should've paid more attention in physical education . . ."

"Calm yourself, Daisy . . ." Roy warned the princess, handing her a bottle of cold water from a knapsack he was carrying.

The princess eagerly took the bottle and drank from it in long, greedy swallows. After gulping down half of the bottle in record time, she thrust the bottle back at the fiery-haired swordsman. A 'thanks' escaped her lips, and as Roy placed the bottle back into the knapsack she replied to him, "How can I? I don't want the world I'm living in to be destroyed . . . do you? It worries me to see what little anyone's done to protect their home."

"If it does, you certainly don't look it." Lilina giggled. All of her laughter stopped with a dirty glance from Daisy to the young mage. The princess retorted hotly by asking where the mage thought the aliens would hide, to which Lilina simply shrugged.

"I'd think they'd hide in a place where they wouldn't be likely to get caught." She answered finally, nodding in emphasis. "The only problem with that is that there are too many places on this Island for them to hide."

Daisy merely sighed while Lilina cutely cocked her head to the side, a figurative question mark popping up above her head. "Well, I doubt we'll find them just sitting and looking at each other." She motioned for the other Smashers to follow, while she stood up and glanced around the park, picking up her pitchfork in the process. "Okay, so where are you, you damned aliens . . . ?"

* * *

As the young monk Artur wandered amongst the faded ruins of New York, he sighed and meditated privately as he twirled his staff around in his hand. Much of the city was lying in ruins, but there was still life in it as tourists and tour organizers wandered its streets, just like him. '_Sigh...even amidst this destruction, they still can be joyful. I wish it were like that back home in Renais..._'

Continuing to read through a small book he had obtained through a religious bookstore, Artur stopped with his work long enough to notice that the street he was walking on was quickly becoming deserted. Frowning slightly, the orange-haired man quickened his pace until he ran smack dab into a girl of around the same height. "Whoa, where's the fire?"

"Huh?" Zelda looked up at the strange person in front of her. He was carrying a silver staff that was adorned with many decorations as well as a scroll box that was hooked onto his belt. He had bright orange eyes and hair, but what surprised her most was that he also had a Stiletto dagger in his belt even though he was supposed to be a holy man. Zelda quickly come to her senses and scrambled up. "Sorry about that, I have to go!"

"Perhaps it would be helpful if you could tell me what in the world's going on here?" The monk replied, smiling enigmatically at the Hylian princess.

"Huh? What are you talking about? Listen, my friends are in big trouble here and I need to get help!" Zelda brushed dust off of her legs. "If you wanna help, thanks a lot, but seriously, I've got to go!"

"Patience is a virtue, my girl." The monk blinked a couple of times. "I am Artur Fleinhardt. I am a holy man, if you couldn't notice from my attire."

"Can you fight?" Zelda asked, her patience deteriorating slightly.

"I am skilled in the ways of light magic, my girl. I sense thine urgency." Artur gave the princess a small bow.

"Okay, good! Uh…" She pointed down the street, opposite of where she was headed. "My friends are fighting a couple of hot-headed soldiers, so I'd really appreciate it if you could help!"

"At a maiden's command…I will do as you wish." Artur walked in the direction she indicated, continuing to read the religion book.

"What a strange man…" Zelda mumbled. "But enough of that! I've got to go help my friends!" She continued on her mission.

"Grrrr…" Link groaned as he deflected a bullet with a rusted hubcap. "Why the hell are you attacking us anyway?"

"Because you're a filthy spy! No doubt you've summoned the aliens to destroy our fair Smash Island!" The soldier exclaimed before attacking.

"Don't be foolish!" Link yelled before rolling under his gunshot and using the butt of his revolver to deliver a hard whack to the man's head. The man teetered on his feet for a couple of seconds before collapsing to the ground. Link leaned on a nearby wall, panting. "Too late."

"God, where are all these guys coming from!" Colm yelled as he smashed his dagger into the back of a soldier that was threatening Neimi. "This is ridiculous!"

"Thanks, Colm..." Neimi replied shyly. She scrambled up and aimed an arrow into the throat of a soldier behind the thief.

"..." Link looked around at the battered remains of the crumbling ruins. The initial battle had gone well for them; he and Fox had shot down several of the trained fighters, while Luigi, Zelda, Ness, Pichu, Colm and Neimi had scattered to systematically eliminate the rest. However, sometime during the fight a soldier had thrown a smoke bomb into their midst, and by the time it cleared up many of the Smashers were fighting for their lives. Zelda had run off to get help, and Link was desperately hoping for her return. Grabbing Pichu and Ness and running, he motioned for the others to do the same. "COME ON! We have to escape!"

"OH NO, YOU DON'T!" A soldier yelled as he fired upon the Smashers. Luigi grunted in pain as a force knocked against the sole of his shoe. The bullet fired purposely at the earth ricocheted and hit the back of his boot with enough force not to pierce the leather, but to knock him clear off his feet. Luigi fell forward to kiss the charred ground. "AHA!"

"NO! LUIGI!" Link yelled.

Luigi began to visibly shake as he stared down the barrel of the soldier's gun, the muzzle mere centimeters away from the bridge between his eyes. He drew back his weapon with a cruel smirk, but before he could blast Luigi's brains, a single ringing voice in clear tones broke the silence.

"_MAY THE LIGHT OF ST. LAKOTA ANNIHILATE THEIR FILTHY SOULS!_" Before the soldier could turn towards the source, two beams of light shot forward into the soldier as blood and muscle erupted from his body. Luigi screamed in terror as the headless soldier collapsed backward, blood and ooze draining from the hole in his chest. The other soldiers widened their eyes in panic as they tried to escape, but a flurry of light spears charged forward and mercilessly tore them to shreds.

Luigi shuddered; mouth gaped open and eyes bulging at the dead corpses in front of him. He was in such a state of shock that he didn't acknowledge the gritty footsteps approaching him, until a hand lightly grasped his shoulder and a silky voice that pierced through the bitterness greeted him.

"You alright?"

Shivering and tears glistening in his eyes, Luigi turned around and glanced upwards at this new being. It was another human with white robes flowing in the breeze and his ruby eyes calm and reassuring. His orange hair blew loosely around his lean face, and a scroll box, a satchel of elixirs and a Stiletto dagger hung from his belt. The Purge spell book in his other hand clearly showed that this was the warrior who had just saved his miserable life. For the sake of first impression, Luigi hastily wiped the moisture from his eyes.

Worming her way to the front in order to get a better view of what happened, Neimi had taken a look at the holy man and nearly dropped her jaw to the ground in shock. "Artur? Is that you?"

"Neimi!" Artur blurted out, whirling around to face the assembly. Spotting the magenta-haired archer, he had run over to her with concern. "Are you well? What are you doing here?"

"I was about to ask you the same." Neimi responded.

"Well, really, I...you see, what happened was..."

"You know this guy?" Colm asked somewhat darkly.

"It's not what you think, Colm." Neimi giggled at her friend's single-mindedness. "Brother Artur is a friend of mine...just a friend."

"Ah, you must be Colm, then." Artur replied to the blue-haired thief. "Neimi has told me much about your deeds; you seem to be a righteous man in your own right."

"Er...I guess you could say that..." Colm laughed, embarrassed as he scratched the back of his head. However, he ended up blinking and stared menacingly at the bishop. "That had better not be an insult..."

"But no!" Artur replied simply, brushing dust off his white robes. "Really, it is not in my position or in my power to judge other people just by their deeds."

"I should hope not!" Colm retorted hotly, causing Neimi and a few others to burst into laughter. Several minutes later, Zelda ran back to rejoin her comrades, with at least two of the local authorities. Their heavyset frames and beer bellies had slowed their coming considerably, as by the time they got there their attackers had already been slaughtered. Out of fear, the two policemen had screamed and were on the process of running back to the police station as fast as their flabby bodies could carry them.

Zelda, after one look around, had sighed discontentedly. "Man, I guess you didn't need me after all..." Zelda walked up to Link, pouting slightly. "But I'm glad to see that you're all alive, though!" She punched the blond Hylian lightly on the arm, grinning. "I knew you guys could do it!"

Link smiled wryly at her. "We almost didn't. I assume the crazy guy is a friend of yours?" He jerked a thumb towards Artur, despite his protests of not being 'crazy.' "You did a good job, Zelda."

"Why, thank you! I did my best." Zelda giggled happily. "So what do we do now?"

"Well…" Link glanced around the abandoned city. "Our first priority is to find someone to help us out here. We definitely need to get out of this city and as much as we could stay here, it wouldn't help us find our friends." Link frowned and let out a sigh.

"Indeed." The vulpine concurred with the Hero of Time. "We've already drawn enough attention to our position when we rescued Neimi, and we certainly don't need more bad publicity on our hands."

"Perhaps I could help?" Artur asked suddenly, and all eyes turned to stare at the carrot-haired bishop. Biting down a small sigh, he explained, "On my way here, I overheard two of the patrols talking about something. They seemed to talk a little too loud. Anyway, one of them mentioned some kind of depot to the west, and he pointed somewhere that way." Link's eyes followed the bishop's finger to the ruined Panasonic building. "One would assume that something important could be contained there."

"All right..." Link nodded, trailing off slightly. "Let's see what's inside that ruin."

Several minutes later, the group of nine had made it to Times Square. Keeping to the shadows, they darted through the ruins, checking buildings and dodging guards. Making their way to the Panasonic building, they peered into the grimy windows and grinned triumphantly.

"Awesome!" Link replied as he darted into the building. Wondering what was inside, the other Smashers, Colm, Neimi and Artur peered inside. They had stumbled into a weapons storehouse; guns, swords, lances, bows and even tomes were stacked and sorted neatly in each corner of the room, and in the center was a M1-A1 Abrams tank with at least two Jeeps alongside it.

Pichu squeaked happily after a long silence. "YAY! WE CAN ESCAPE!"

"A...are you crying, Luigi?" Ness asked as he turned towards the green machine.

"L...look!" Luigi sobbed happily, pointing to a machine on the dashboard of one of the Jeeps. "A GPS!"

Fox's eyes widened to small ovals as a glorious revenge plot hatched in his mind. "Hey, Link...you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Oh, yeah." Link snickered. "Salazar, you're going down. Zelda, you'll drive the tank."

"Wha-! ME! But...I don't know how!"

"You can learn along the way..."

* * *

The Burger Chest Fast-Food Joint on the edge of the plaza was a modestly-sized building of painted stucco and wood that would form the body of the treasure chest. On the rooftop, at least three giant plaster burgers were shown exploding out of the wooden container, the paint chipping and the wooden teardrop that represented sesame seeds scattered around it. Above that was a poorly made half-cylinder of painted wood that was to be the chest's lid, though the weather and the abuses of nature had reduced it to its underlying plastic shell in some places.

Between bites of cheese-slathered ground chuck on an undistinguishable bun, Lloyd and Colette were eyeing the plaza dubiously for any signs of the military convoy that had been so unkind to them the few hours before. The other aliens had settled themselves around the room, much to the dismay of its occupants, and tension and anxiety settled itself among patrons and alien cosplayers alike.

The young Chosen was one of the first to note the heavy silence, and she sighed pensively as she bit into a stick of dusty potato. "Oh, Lloyd...what has happened to the people to make them feel this way?" Colette chirped sadly. "Everywhere we look, they treat us so harshly..."

"Don't worry about it, Colette." Lloyd replied, staring out into the lonely plaza. "Hopefully things'll get better, huh?"

"Yeah..." Colette replied as she scooted closer to the twin swordsman. "I hope that they learn that we are not their enemy."

The poor girl's hopes were violently shattered, though, as an all-too-familiar princess burst into the restaurant, waving her pitchfork like a flag. "AHA! So THIS is where you've taken refuge, alien scum!" Daisy pointed the pitchfork maniacally at the other Smashers and replied, "I have found you!"

"Er, technically, Lilina's the one who spotted them in the window . . ." Samus corrected, to which Daisy twitched involuntarily and sighed.

"Okay, so maybe Lilina DID see you all first. But we'll still make sure you pay for trying to take our home!"

"Hey, we're not looking for a fight!" Lloyd protested. "But if it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get!"

"Fine! Bring it on!" The management and the occupants stared, wide-eyed, as they dropped their sustenance and engaged in a furious stare-down with the others as tension flowed in abundance. But before the fight even got so much as a trigger, a loud GRUMBLE permeated the silence as everyone tensed up for what it was.

"...oh. Oops!" Daisy giggled with girlish embarrassment. "My stomach's telling me it's empty."

"WHAT!" everyone yelled as they collapsed to the floor, dumbfounded. In shock, Lloyd blurted out, "That's the kind of thing you check BEFORE a fight!"

"That totally killed the seriousness of the scene." Genis derogatorily pointed out.

Shooting a glare at the half-elf, Daisy replied, "I know! I'm sorry!" Wending her way over to the burger counter, similar groans and grumbles came from the stomachs of Roy, Lilina and Samus and caused a ruckus before they too joined the dinner line for some food.

Amidst the chaos, Mewtwo had handed the dirty china and paid for their meal, then tapped Lloyd, who was still gaping in shock at Daisy and her posse, on the shoulder.

"I think this would be a good moment for a discreet departure." he said when Lloyd turned. He nodded his head in the direction of the whiny princess and her crew, who were similarly voicing their discontent in front of the lunch counter.

"What?" asked Lloyd. "Oh, I see. Good of you to say so. Come on, guys, we'd better get out of here." He abandoned the fast-food joint to Daisy and the others, and he and the other aliens slipped out the door.

"Thanks, Mewtwo." Colette said to Mewtwo. "But have you not perhaps made for yourself more trouble?"

"I'm sure of it." Mewtwo told the female angel. "But I believe I owe her one, because of a prank a few weeks ago involving my tail, pink glitter and a ridiculously large yellow bow; I can't think of a better way of evening the score." Colette giggled at the thought.

"It seems singularly appropriate." Falco added, stepping forward. "But I would like to point out that we still have the damned military breathing down our necks. I don't suppose you'd like to tell us if you have a plan?"

"_As if Lloyd DOES have a plan..._" Colette said under her breath, giggling slightly as she wrapped herself around Lloyd's arm. Falco and Genis were both looking expectantly at Lloyd, Mewtwo was sighing at Lloyd's lack of forethought, and any minute now Princess Daisy would realize that they had managed to escape again. It ought to be more hilarious than one of Pichu's screwball pranks, of that much she was sure.

* * *

A large _BOOM_ interrupted the sinister silence of the devastated thoroughfare as a large tank stood in the spot where the high-voltage gates stood. Soldiers, stunned and caught in panic and disarray, had taken up their arms and fled in wild abandon as the tank crushed a car under its Vulcan rubber threads. "Zelda! Be careful!" Link yelled from his roost, manning the machine gun on top of the Abrams.

"Sorry! This isn't as easy as it looks..." Zelda squeaked from inside the tank.

"I TOLD you that I should've driven that thing!" Fox yelled from one of the two Jeeps that served as their escort. The first had Fox, Luigi, Pichu and Ness; while the other held Colm, Neimi and Artur. As the tank slew wildly across the dirt, Zelda shouted, "Where to!"

"Take us back to Fox's hideout!" Link yelled over the whine of the tank's engine. "Colm, Neimi and Artur will be safe there."

"You're going to leave us!" Colm shouted in disbelief.

"It'll be much safer for you to escape the Island than for you to get involved," Link answered. "It's going to get more dangerous as the night wanes, and I don't want to worry about someone to coddle while the militia's firing whatever they've got at us!"

"Link, when Neimi and I came over here u..." Colm stopped before saying, "—to visit an old friend, we were already involved."

"Wait, we have a...mmph!" Colm quickly covered Neimi's mouth to prevent her from butting in as Link mumbled an incoherent reply. As Colm asked Link what he said again, Neimi whispered into Colm's ear, "_You never told me you had an old friend on the Isle! Who is it, and did you know her before?_"

"_SSSH! Just play along, Neimi, and I'll explain it to you later—wait, 'she?'_" Colm raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "_...you were worried I was seeing someone on the side?_" At that, Neimi turned a dull red and stared at the ground as she tapped her foot on the floor of the Jeep nervously. Artur just laughed, but quickly stifled it when the normally cheerful archer shot him a deadly glare.

". . . you're so mean, Colm . . ." Neimi pouted while she continued blushing to the floor. Link, watching these events unfold, shrugged and picked up the walkie-talkie as Colm just shook his head in exasperation and pat the archer on the back awkwardly, not quite knowing what to say.

* * *

Daisy was pacing around on a sidewalk in frustration, uncharacteristically muttering string after string of whatever profanities she could think of. It wasn't until at least a good five minutes had passed that Lilina pointed out that she should be more focused on finding the aliens instead of acting like a five-year-old having a temper tantrum.

"Don't tell me what not to do, Lilina." Daisy told her. "I'm busy venting my anger at this moment."

"Well, personally, I think your anger would be better vented against the aliens, but it's YOUR anger . . ." The mage just sighed, massaging her forehead in frustration.

"Look, Daisy, we're all tired of this." Roy tried to reason. "Let's just go home, huh? A revolution can wait until tomorrow..."

"This isn't about a stupid revolution!" Daisy yelled. Suddenly her tone of voice had changed into that of a mix of sorrow and determination. "If we allowed them to take over our Island, we are essentially letting our future down. Look," Daisy gestured to a group of kids who were playing on the street. "Look at those kids! Just look. If the aliens take over, they're going to grow up under oppression and seething anger... they're going to learn that they have certain rights. They will learn about them in school in a couple of years...and they'll tell them that no one has the right to take their rights away from them. They've got to believe that. They include the right to be different. Well, now we have a group of aliens have decided that we have to get out of here or die just because we're different!"

"Daisy..." Lilina cut in.

"It's not about me at all." Daisy replied, dropping the pitchfork to the ground. "Those aliens think we're not nice. Do we have to smile in their faces and say that we're nice! I WILL admit my methods are unorthodox, to put it kindly; but whenever someone is forced to do something they don't like, they will end up losing their voice in the world. We don't have to win the right to be free! It's the same as running away, Lilina. It's staying on their terms, and if we can't stay on our terms there are no more places to stay anywhere...for you—for me—for those kids—for anyone." Daisy suddenly fell to her knees as her body quaked with sobbing.

"...oh, Daisy..." Lilina replied sympathetically, kneeling next to the princess. "I'm so sorry...I just thought you didn't care about what you did."

"...well, I guess I WAS acting a bit stupid..." Daisy replied. "If you don't want to help, I understand."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm going to stick around and help." Roy replied with an indignant tone in his voice. "Besides, we're already knee-deep in this war, and I don't intend on backing out, no matter what the odds are."

"Guys..." Daisy sobbed a bit. Samus rolled his eyes as Daisy sobbed again, but couldn't help but flash a smile her way. "Thanks. Now what do you say? ON TO BATTLE!"

"ONWARD!" Samus yelled. Sometime during Daisy's tantrum, Samus had been charging a shot for use against the aliens. However, it was a wrong time for her to throw her arms into to air, as the shot had freed itself from the arm cannon in her suit and plowed straight into a battery of soldiers. The soldiers, fearing their own safety, started to charge at the four Smashers. In panic, Daisy, Roy, Lilina and Samus ran down the street, and right into the path of Lloyd and his troupe.

"! NOT HER AGAIN!" Lloyd shouted in a panic.

"It's the aliens! THEY'RE HERE!" Daisy shrieked. "I'm going to stop you!"

"NOT IF WE STOP THEM FIRST!" the soldiers yelled, rushing past Daisy's group and charging at Lloyd and the others.

"What in the hell?!" Instead of allying to fight the aliens, the Smashers and soldiers were soon engaged in a frenzied fight against the other, forgetting the aliens completely as the soldiers fired bullets towards the wayward youths. Roy, however, had somehow obtained some Molotov cocktails, throwing them into the mass of soldiers. They retreated to get reinforcements while the other Smashers gave chase to avoid another surprise attack. Lloyd and the other aliens were soon by themselves again, standing in the middle of the lonely cobblestone street.

"What in the hell was THAT about?" Falco asked after a long, awkward moment of silence.

"Who knows?" Lloyd replied. "We gotta get out of here, though...come on!"

* * *

On the mainland side of the bridge, Joseph Salazar was sneering evilly as packages of C-4 and blasting caps were being placed and loaded onto the pavement, and soldiers were marching the streets behind him, shooting all who tried to stop the attack. His reverie was interrupted, though, by the buzzing of the radio. "Hold it!" As soldiers dropped the loads of C-4 and other explosives they were handling, Joseph strolled over to the radio and swept the receiver into his hand. "Yes?"

"_Well, well. Old sergeant Salazar. You're too dumb to make captain, you know?_" a voice taunted from the other end. Joseph nearly squeezed the receiver to breaking point when he heard that voice.

"Link Alben Gaiden. What a surprise."

"_Uh, that's Big Daddy Gaiden to you. Or did you already forget what happened at Ground Zero?_" Link taunted.

"Hmph." Joseph snorted, spitting on the ground. "So tell me, Link, how's the Mansion?"

"_You're about to find out, Salazar._" Link laughed as his convoy approached the bridge. "_With a mouth like yours, they're going to love you on the inside._"

Joseph's teeth were grinding as he slammed the receiver down onto the table inside the command post. In a state of lucid rage, he commanded, "FIND GAIDEN! The minute he sees me will be his last. Understand?"

"YES SIR!" the soldiers replied. Suddenly, another soldier, a youth, rushed into the command post and told Joseph, "Sir, one of our convoys wishes to cross the bridge. What should I do?"

"Oh. Well..." Joseph followed the youth across the length of the roadway, being sure not to trip the bundles of C-4 laden along the asphalt. After dancing some kind of safety juggle, he and the youth had crossed the bridge over to where the tank and its Jeeps lay in wait to cross. "Right, then. State your business."

"Well, you see, sir..." the youth replied nervously. "They want you to talk to them yourself."

"...of all the bloody stupid things I have to do tonight..." Joseph strolled up to one of the Jeeps and asked, "State your business in this city."

"Transport." The driver, who was clad in a military uniform, stated.

"Of what?"

"Just transportin' stuff, sir." The driver replied. "They dun say wot it was."

"...very well." Joseph replied, waving them through. "But once we cross, I want to see your cargo." The tank crossed, along with the two Jeeps, and the team was forced to wait until both Joseph and the youth had crossed the bridge in order to get the green light. Once done, Joseph swung himself up into the trunk of the Jeep and attempted to pull off the covers, but the passenger had a strangely tight grip on the cover. "Sir...let me see your cargo." Joseph replied with some forced patience.

"It's-a nothing..." the passenger replied before realizing his mistake and covering his mouth. "Oops-a."

"! IT'S THEM!" Joseph yelled. Yanking off the cover, he was treated to an ambush in which Artur bashed his skull with a healing staff. The driver, Fox, hurled a smoke bomb in the direction of the other soldiers, effectively blinding them.

Meanwhile, the youth had sneaked into the command post amidst the chaos and was ransacking the chamber, hurling various papers to the floor before finding a data disk inside a drawer. Smiling to himself, he pocketed the disk before rushing outside into the fog of war. His well-trained eyesight picked out the shapes before him as he wormed over towards the tank.

Joseph and his soldiers were having a tough time as the teams led by Fox were effectively pushing their troops back towards the depot. Amidst fireballs, arrows, thunderbolts, lasers and bullets, though, a soldier had managed to creep towards one of the Jeep and grabbed Neimi. "'Ey, boss! I caught that little wench of yours!"

"Let go of me!" Neimi yelled, kicking backwards into the soldiers' privates. Stooping over in pain, he let go of the archer before an arrow pierced his throat and ended his life. The young archer hid behind her lover as the thief threw several knives at the soldiers, killing a few.

However, things couldn't last as well as they liked, and our heroes were soon running out of ammo to use against the enemy. As the light tome crumbled in Artur's hands, he shouted, "What do we do now? Link and Zelda are safe inside the tank, but...!"

"Heh heh heh... trapped liked a bunch of rats." Joseph laughed as he strolled over to the Jeep and reached out to grab Neimi's wrist. "You're coming with me."

Before Neimi could even squeak, a gunshot pierced the lone silence as Link, armed with a rocket launcher took aim. But the silence had left him in much wonderment as those around him tried to locate the source of the gunshot. The puppeteer of stillness left his marionettes in a state of immobility until Joseph's shriek of agony tore it from his grasp. For there, in the center of his right hand, was a giant hole, in which blood and marrow dripped into the asphalt below. After a sharp intake of breath, Joseph yelled, "WHO DID THIS!"

"I did." A lone voice answered coolly, and all turned to behold the youth who had accompanied Joseph across the bridge, now holding a smoking revolver in his hands. "Next time I won't miss."

"You...traitor! Treason! TREACHERY!" Joseph yelled, lunging at the youth.

"So impatient, are we? Well, I guess I should be too." With one fluid motion, the youth had pulled two grenades from his satchel, tore off their pins and threw them behind him, in the general direction of the bridge. Joseph's eyes widened as he tried to stop in time while the youth had pulled out a hookshot and fired it into a nearby bell tower, pulling him out of the range of the explosive...

_**BOOM!**_

Joseph and the soldiers were thrown violently backwards as grenades and C-4 detonated, sending a wave of plaster, wood and asphalt into them as the roadway wiggled unsteadily. Unable to take the added stress, the ropes holding up the bridge gave way as the road crumbled into the sea below, churning it into a valley of whirlpools.

Snapping out of his shock, Fox yelled to the Hylian, "LINK! Now's our chance!"

"Right!" Link yelled as he motioned for the others to move. As Joseph and other soldiers stumbled out of the dust cloud created by the explosion, the tank and the Jeeps sped off as quickly as possible.

"G...GET THAT BASTARD!" Joseph yelled. "I AUTHORIZE THE USE OF DEADLY FORCE TO STOP THAT TANK! NEUTRALIZE IT AT ALL COSTS!"

* * *

Choppers and tanks rushed Link and the others as they were ground into flaming balls of scrap metal as a result. Zelda haphazardly steered the cumbersome metal monster as it rolled over parked cars and traffic lights, squashing them under the treads. "OOPS! Sorry..."

"You know, someone had better leave a note..." Link warned as an Army truck and a battery of soldiers led by Salazar waited for him up ahead. Another team had the tank breathing down its flank, and Salazar sneered.

"Right, men. OPEN FIRE!"

Link's sharp eyes had noticed the threat of the Army jeep and forced him into the tank, where he grabbed the steering wheel from Zelda's hands and turned it sharply to the right. The artillery shell flew by the tank and missed them by mere inches as the enemies behind them were incinerated with the blast. "Goddammit!" Joseph yelled vehemently.

"_Oh, I'm sorry. Was that your ride?_" Link taunted through his walkie-talkie.

"No, but yours is going to take you straight to hell!" Joseph threatened as he slammed the receiver on the table, his teeth grinding against each other.

Pure crimson rage flowed through Joseph's veins as the screaming metal of the choppers seared the silence of the night. Citizens and soldiers alike were running through the streets of the once-tranquil city as the fleeing crowd knocked over fruit carts, barrels and trash cans while Link's convoy rolled through the streets, crushing cars and starting havoc wherever it went. Joseph's wrist throbbed and the crimson of his pernicious anger dripped onto the cobblestones as he yelled to the choppers, "OPEN FIRE!" The metal cranes rushed forward into the chaos of fire and smoke.

Meanwhile, Link had found himself strafing a tank in the circle of the plaza as mortars were exchanged between the feuding parties. The sustenance around them was thick with smoke and dust as missed shots pulverized the buildings around them into fine dust. Amidst the chaos, Colm and Neimi had jumped out of their jeep and rushed into the ruins around them, re-emerging minutes later as panicked citizens ran to safety.

"That the last of them?" Colm yelled as a mother and her child escaped to the hills in the distance.

"Yes, Colm!" Neimi yelled. However, an explosion rocked the building she was in, and minutes later her leg was pinned under large pieces of sheet rock and wood as she tried in vain to wretch her leg from the stone deathtrap. "ACK! HELP!"

"NEIMI!" Colm yelled, rushing over to the aid of the young archer. However, the driver inside the tank heard Colm, and had redirected his course as treads rolled through the park towards the thief. Link, however, had taken advantage as a lobbed shell at the tank sent it exploding into a heap of scrap metal, sending bolts and plates raining upon the circle.

As the thief lifted the stone high enough the pull Neimi's leg out, the archer clutched at Colm's shirt protectively, saying to him, "I knew you wouldn't leave me here."

"What, you thought I would?" Colm laughed, kissing her forehead.

Anger and rage seemed to override thought and reason as Joseph ravaged the city with his war machines, looking for Link and the other Smashers. As the smell of gunpowder and smoke lingered through the forest air, the whirring of helicopter blades echoed through the trees as several of the metal birds seared the skyscape looking for Link and the other Smashers.

Suddenly, two of the helicopters had located their target and veered towards the tank and the nearby Jeeps, letting loose a hail of bullets upon their targets. Soldiers whooped and hollered until a well-placed arrow sent the pilot falling into the abyss of death. Abruptly the chopper crashed into the bell tower and sent a mess of stone, plaster, wood, metal and charred flesh raining onto the plaza behind Link.

"...nice shot, Neimi!" Colm cheered as the magenta-haired archer collapsed into her boyfriend's arms.

"Thank you..."

"My, my. I didn't know the two of you became lovers." Artur mused as Ness and Pichu broke out laughing.

"Guys, I-a don't mean to interrupt-a, but..._DUCK!!!_" Luigi yelled as another chopper passed overhead. Sprays of stone, dirt and twigs shot up like geysers as bullets rained upon the small Jeep. Many ricocheted off the metal plating while others narrowly missed our heroes, embedding themselves in the soft fabric of the seat cushions. The metal pellets bounced off the metal armor of the tank as well, forcing the other Smashers to duck as they ricocheted into nearby buildings.

"Man, these guys just don't quit!" Fox yelled above the chaos as he aimed a rocket launcher at the same chopper. "Link, you all right in there!?"

"Yeah!" Link yelled as he peered out of the tank. Suddenly, the metal cavalry rolled to a complete stop as Zelda peeked her head out to see what was going on. "Zelda, hey, what'd you stop the tank for?"

"I'm just looking around, hold on..."

"Not much to see out here, other than fire, collapsed buildings and scrap metal." Artur replied.

"Artur's right. You'd better get back inside the tank, Zel..." No sooner as the princess was back in the driver's seat, two choppers had flown down to their level and was flying in their direction. Turning around to look for himself, Ness spotted the choppers and nearly screamed to high hell.

"LINK!!!" Ness yelled. "CHOPPERS ON EITHER SIDE!"

"Oh, shi..." Fox nearly cussed. "Want me to get the rocket launcher?"

Spotting a side street a little ways ahead, Link smiled and said, "I have a better idea." Dropping back into the tank, he sat next to Zelda and directed her towards the screen. "Zel! See the street there? Think you can steer us into it?"

"I could try..." Zelda replied, taking hold of the steering wheel.

Several in the Jeeps were wondering what Link had planned as the choppers came ever closer, their blades whipping the wind and the bullets ending geysers of dirt and charred plaster into the air. The smell of gunpowder lingered in the air from the spent ammo, and the streets were thick with blood from civilians and soldiers alike. Before Fox decided to intervene and pull out his rocket launcher, the tank suddenly jerked forward and swerved left into the side street, knocking over a trash can and several support beams of a nearby balcony. As the wooden deck crashed onto the tank, Pichu and Luigi had taken control of the Jeeps and drove after Link and Zelda, parking right behind them.

The choppers in pursuit never had a chance as their targets moved away at the last minute. Both tried to stop, but momentum and the wind were against them as they collided into each other, causing a large explosion that obliterated a few nearby buildings and caused several cars nearby to go up in a fiery column of smoke. Colm, Artur, Neimi, Ness, Pichu, Luigi and Fox all had to duck as shards of metal sliced through the top of the Jeep and left the driver completely exposed. Other soldiers nearby who had come to investigate weren't as lucky as the shards sliced right through them, killing them in one blow.

A blaze of static greeted Joseph as he tried to contact the chopper. Then he heard a loud explosion from the general direction of the choppers as fire and smoke rose up from the spot. Grinding his teeth and slamming the receiver onto the table, he growled, "Goddammit!"

"_Heh. Tanks, choppers..._" Link taunted through the radio. "_What's next? You going to level the city?_"

"Only if you're still in it, you bastard."

"_Hmph. Keep this up and you'll have nothing left, Joseph._"

"You and I have some unfinished business to take care of, homeboy." Joseph growled as he turned off the receiver. Then, he snatched an AK-47 from the nearby table and plopped down into a nearby motorcycle. With determination in his eyes and three clips of ammo in his pocket, Salazar sped off towards the ruined city in order to end this battle once and for all . . .

* * *

Link and the others had taken to hiding themselves in a lush forested grove near thecity's edge. As Colm looked from the tall granite cliffs into the brew of smoke, flames and buildings below, he frowned slightly at the civilians, who were panicking and running about the town while the soldiers were trying to contain the chaos. "This is insanity." He muttered as he rejoined the others. "What, exactly, are the soldiers trying to accomplish by tearing apart the city?"

"I don't want to know . . . do you think they know we're not there anymore?" Neimi replied as she pulled her bow and the quiver of arrows from the Jeeps.

"Whether they think so or not, it's safe to assume that the soldiers won't be clueless for long." Link replied as he slammed the hood closed on one of the Jeeps, the same one whose top had been shredded by flying steel. "FOX!"

"Yes?" the vulpine asked, polishing his laser blaster.

"You and the others need to get out of this city." Link replied sternly. Tossing Fox a bag of bombs, he commanded, "You and the other Smashers get into that Jeep—" he pointed to the unblemished Jeep, "—and flee the city. The bombs I gave you will take out any enemies you find, but use them sparingly. The rest of you..." Link motioned to Neimi, Colm and Artur. "...are coming with me."

"Are...are you sure, Link?" Zelda asked worriedly.

"Yeah, Link. We don't want you getting killed out there." Fox replied in agreement. "We could always accompany you, you know."

"Thanks, guys, but let ME take care of the worrying." Link replied. "Or do you not trust me at all?" He glanced over at Fox especially; after a few tense minutes he let out a long sigh.

"Well...alright." Fox replied. Motioning to the others to get into the Jeep, he hollered, "YOU HEARD HIM! GET IN!" As the Smashers piled into the terrain-friendly vehicle, Fox stopped Link for a bit and tossed him a Desert Eagle. "Good luck, Link. We'll meet you on the highway leading out of here."

"Thanks, Fox." He replied, patting his friend on the shoulder. Then, with one last glance backward, he motioned for Colm, Neimi and Artur to get into the other Jeep and jumped in the driver's seat before speeding off on the dirt roads.

* * *

The Jeep screeched to a sudden stop in front of the vulpine's hidden bungalow as Link looked around. "Looks like we haven't been followed..." he mused quietly as Colm, Neimi and Artur got out of the Jeep as well. They were more interested in the surrounding area, though, instead of their somewhat precarious situation.

"Pray tell, what exactly is your business in the area?" Artur questioned suspiciously, glancing around the bayous and the swampy waters. "There's but naught to be found out here save that lonely little shack in the middle of the swamp." He gestured to the modest house nearby.

"Listen. The military's after us now because they think we committed treason against the Smash Island." Link replied as he gestured to the three to follow. Opening to door to the bungalow and stepping inside, he motioned for them to sit at the various chairs scattered about. He continued. "I am grateful that you were able to help us loosen the military's grip on the city, but from here on out it's far too dangerous for you all to get involved."

"So?" Colm responded somewhat arrogantly, Neimi by his side. "We've all been in far worse than this. It's not like this is our first battle."

"It still remains to be seen that the military's going all-out on us," Link answered.

"You...you don't considered what happened earlier being at full power?" Neimi questioned, her soft pink eyes glistening with a few tears. Using her glove to wipe her eyes, she added, "Forgive me if I'm wrong, but didn't you help Colm save me from that lunatic? That would merit some form of gratitude, yes?"

"Er, well..." Link hadn't anticipated that particular argument.

"I believe that we are indebted to you, for if we were unable to snatch her back from those fiends, who knows what could have happened." Artur added.

"Yes, but—"

"Look, Link. We're coming along with you whether you like it or not." Colm replied, slamming his hands onto the table in front of him. "To be honest, our queen has requested that we come here to attempt an alliance of sorts with this Island, as well as some of the other kingdoms here." Link opened his mouth to say something, but Colm quickly added, "The young woman with you; same blonde hair and blue eyes: that's Princess Zelda of Hyrule, correct? If royalty like her is involved in a conflict of this scale, then why not involve the emissaries from other lands?"

"Because it's not your problem!" Link replied. "As much as it is a shock, I do not wish to involve you in our affairs! You're here to arrange an alliance with us and this Island by the order of your queen. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Link, when Joseph kidnapped Neimi we became involved in this little war of yours." Artur bluntly replied. "Now, tell us, what's going to be our next move?"

Link sighed at this point, massaging his forehead. To be honest, he hadn't expected that the Halloween prank would be broadcast all over the Island, much less mushroom into a civil war between both trick-or-treaters and the militia. And now, here he was, arguing with a group of emissaries from some unknown land, looking for **him**. Realizing that this argument was going to get him nowhere, he replied, "Very well, the three of you can come along with us. But this isn't a field trip! If you get yourselves lost, you're on your own."

"Then that will be on us." Colm replied, glancing out the window. "So, what's our next move?"

"You won't have a next move." A sinister voice growled from the dark corners of the hideout. Suddenly, a badly burned Johnson stumbled out from a hidden nook of the house, the gaze of the four teenagers slightly blinded from the sight of electric light on metal. "None of you are going to walk out of this house alive."

"Whoa, what happened to you?" Colm asked.

"Did you venture into the burning depths of hell? It certainly seems so." Artur added.

"I thought you were dead!" Link yelled accusingly at the soldier.

"Even if I WAS dead, which I'm not, I'd drag you all down with me!!" Alabama yelled, lunging at the four teenagers with gun in hand.

"Hey, what the-!" Colm pulled out his dagger, poised to strike. Suddenly, he heard a scream from behind him, and turned just in time to see Neimi hurl a rather large book at the undead soldier. The thief winced as it connected with Johnson's face, and he could hear several bones crack before both soldier and book fell onto the floor with a dull THUD. "Geez, Neimi...I think you knocked him out or something." He poked the body with his dagger to check.

"But...Colm! He's so scary...and he tried to kill us..." Neimi sobbed, jumping into the thief's arms. Colm hadn't anticipated her leaping into his embrace, and so when it came he overcompensated, sending both archer and thief crashing onto the nearby table before both fell down in a volley of surprised squealing/shouting and a shower of oaken splinters. Artur just watched the sight and chuckled quietly, slightly amused at their playfulness.

Link, meanwhile, wasn't too amused. "Don't wreck the place!" Neimi and Colm stood up, though both were blushing furiously, more so out of embarrassment. Hormones seemed to be very hard for them to control.

As the four left, Link then dragged Johnson's body out into the think swampy open before pushing the body into the muddy waters below the bungalow. "Now that that's done, let's get out of here."

The magenta-haired archer stared at the marsh below them and shivered. "He's not going to come back again, is he?"

"I should think he won't." Link responded. "Otherwise, we've got a real problem on our hands."

'..._ink_..._LINK!_'

"Eh?" Link pulled out the walkie-talkie stashed on his person and spoke into it. "Fox, what's going on?!"

'_The military's found out where we're hiding. Unless you want to be left behind here, you'd better finish up over there and haul your ass back here!_' a rather frustrated Fox responded from the walkie-talkie. His message delivered, the small device became silent once more. The elf looked at it, slightly infuriated at the fact that the others had been found so quickly. "Great, more problems . . . as if there weren't enough as is." Link muttered darkly. He glanced over at the three characters behind him, and motioned them towards the Jeep. "Come on, get in. We don't have all night."

* * *

"Whose idea was it to start this war, anyway?" Artur yelled above the engine noise as the jeep bounced along the rough roads ahead. "Really, I'm getting tired of shot at!"

"I honestly don't know how it escalated to this. One minute, we're throwing a party at the Smash Mansion, and the next we're running around the Island, blowing shit up and kicking military ass." Link glanced out towards the sea, a thick black blanket of tranquility as they made their way towards the Smash Island's main thoroughfare. He glanced over towards the forests around them, and almost smiled. "You know, if our enemies weren't trying to kill us I'd almost be having fun. It's like a game of hide-and-seek, this thing."

"Really?" Neimi asked the elf. "Heehee . . . our adventures back home in Renais were rather similar to that at times." She giggled, glancing towards Colm. "Isn't that right?"

The thief's face was a contorted veneer of exasperation. "Hey, don't put ME on the spot! As I recall, you're the one that caused more grief towards everyone else at camp! Don't think I don't know the truth about that time involving the Queen and that black paint I . . . erm, borrowed from Forde!"

Neimi let out a squeak of panic as she looked about ready to cry. "Colm . . . I thought you promised you wouldn't say a word . . ." The girl sniffled as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Aah, wait, that's not . . ." The thief replied too quickly, trying in vain to keep her from crying. The fact that Artur was trying to stifle his laughter, and failing greatly, was NOT helping the situation one bit. Colm was _SO _glad this was amusing that damned pious priest. "Oh, shut up. You're only making things worse!"

Artur only responded by breaking out into a fit of laughter, ignoring the glares that both Colm and Neimi were giving him. He apologized, though he still looked like he had some laughs left in him. "Really, you two are about as bad as the married couples that visit our church. Why don't you two . . ." He laughed even harder, while both teenagers' faces turned dull red as they looked down at the floor.

"Be quiet, Mr. Gigglefits!" Link yelled, suppressing an urge to stop the jeep and toss him out of it. "Do you want to announce our position to the whole world with your laughing?" He brought his free hand to his forehead, and was vastly relieved when the monk's laughter ceased. "Thank you." As he turned away from the rocky cliffs bordering the road and onto the thoroughfare, he frowned slightly as he discovered several soldiers on motorcycles in pursuit of Fox and everyone else. "You've GOT to be kidding me . . ."

"Oh, joy." Colm said flatly as a soldier saw them and proceeded to open fire. The occupants ducked bullets as the thief threw a knife at the motorcycle, piercing the tire and causing the soldier to lose control and crash into a few others. "When is this going to end?!"

"Hey, Link!" Fox yelled as he spotted the elf behind him. "Think you can get these people off of my back?"

"Of course." Link responded as he reached for a revolver. "Now, who should I . . ."

"I WON'T LET YOU!" In the next minute, Joseph's motorcycle flew out of the shrubbery near the highway and landed next to Link's jeep as the general threw a grenade towards the jeeps. It missed and hit the cliffs behind them, setting off a rockslide that blocked off the road behind them. The soldiers yelped and stopped short of crashing into the pile of rocks themselves, though a few weren't so lucky.

Joseph's sudden appearance caused several people to yelp in surprise. "What in the world . . . ?" Pichu peeked out to see what was going on, and nearly fell over from the shock. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"

"Well, I'M NOT!"

"But I thought you were!"

Joseph had to suppress an urge to throw his gun at the electric Pokèmon's head out of sheer annoyance. Instead, he opted for shooting at them, pulling out his revolver and firing several shots in the jeep's direction. "Do you think I'm dead NOW, you stupid Pokèmon?!" He growled as the bullets ran out, and tossed the empty gun behind him as he pulled out another grenade. Pichu gulped and sent an electric shock towards the general, who easily dodged the orb with ease. "Learn how to aim, you piece of shit!"

"I'm seriously getting tired of people trying to kill us." Fox muttered blandly as he gave Joseph the finger. Seeing Joseph's reflection in the mirror, he yelled, "Leave already! We don't wish to kill you!"

"And that will be your downfall." The general sneered. He noticed Neimi, and let loose a howl of laughter. "My dear, you should really have stayed behind. What can these idiotic bastards offer you?"

"More than you ever would . . ." the archer glared. Truly, Neimi had had enough of this idiotic joker. She grabbed her bow as well as an arrow, and took careful aim as she looked at Joseph in the eye. "I'm sorry, but I could not be less interested in you!" With those words, she let go of the bowstring and let the arrow fly.

Joseph shot her a glare. "All that talking, and you mi—" He never had a chance to finish that thought as the motorcycle bucked and bounced dangerously, almost throwing him off of it. Looking down, he noticed the arrow sticking out of the tire and finally got it – she wasn't trying to kill him, she wanted to stop him. Well, it worked; Joseph had to jump off of the motorcycle and landed harshly on the ground as the bike flew over the side of the cliff and fell a few hundred feet before going up in a ball of flames.

As all three of the vehicles zoomed away into the night, there was naught that Joseph could do but grind his teeth in anger as he pounded his fists into the pavement. "Dammit! Like hell I'll let you upstage the military like this . . ."

* * *

"Well, that was fun." Link commented dryly.

"I hate it when we have to stick our necks into other's business just to get something done." Fox muttered in reply. "But I guess it comes with trying to help our friends, yes? Where do you want to stick your neck out next?"

"Try Neonopolis. It's the next city this highway is going to." The elf nodded as he looked into the mountains, already aglow from the many colored lights of the city of many pleasure.

* * *

Sorry if the ending was a bit rushed, but I hope you enjoy reading it! And also, sorry for the delay; the computer had some problems, so we had to get it fixed first . . .

-Gamer21


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